salamalaykoum...I am confused ..i am a revert to islam but honestly i
feel i have done a terrible mistake . There are so many issues wrong
w/ my marriage and my husband says its Shariah and Allah will punish
me , if i say different. We are married 6yrs now we have 2 children
together i live in usa he lives in uk..we have not seen eachother in
almost 3yrs. he does not maintain me or our kids. He works in uk and
says he makes only enough for him and says hadiths says Allah doesnt
give a person more than they can handle.Im tired , i do everything for
our kids , they have seen their father one time and dont know him. he
says we are married but yet i dont have a document showing we are ,
then i read on your site other questions about how if a husband
divorces his wife , she is not entitiled to any maintance from him nor
shelter ..thats absurd...how can you say in islam that as women if we
divorce we no longer have rights ..after having children w/ our
husbands we are left to either 2 things , either leave our kids w/ our
exhusbands or we take our kids w/ us and we suffer cuz we can not work
nor maintain them , becuz our so called exhusbands dont have to
maintain us or give us any maintance , then we should go out and work
like men ...i think the maintaince in western society takes care of
the women and gives her more rights than in islam ..im sorry to say
and may Allah forgive me but in isalm this is wrong ...how can a woman
survive after divorcing if she has nothing or nobody to help her ,
that means if she has kids she must leave them w/someone while she
works to maintain and take care of her kids ....i think islam is wrong
in this , how can a women are not protected in islam , they are
neglected ...protected as long as they are married but if husband is
abusive and she divorces him then she gets nothing ,but children to
raise on her own , cuz of course we wont give up our kids to be raised
by a man who is abusive...so wrong & sad..christianity gives the woman
rights
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that
Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
Islam is the religion that came to ensure happiness for people in this
world and in the Hereafter with its comprehensive and balanced
legislations. Allaah Says )what means(: }This day I have perfected for
you your religion and completed My favor upon you and have approved
for you Islam as religion.{]Quran 5:3[ Hence, every person who
embraces Islam and understands it very well should be happy with this
bounty and not feel sorry about it.
The )wrong( conclusions that you made are due to the following two matters:
1- Being wronged by your husband who falsely attributes his injustice to Islam.
2- Your wrong understanding to some religious rulings.
However, before talking about these two matters, we would like to draw
your attention to the fact that in Islam the marriage contract has
conditions that must be fulfilled so that the marriage will be valid;
you may read these conditions in Fatwa 83629. The most important of
these conditions are the consent )and presence( of the woman's
guardian and the presence of two witnesses: this is so, so that the
marriage will be authenticated and the rights of the wife and children
will be protected.
It should also be mentioned that the husband is obliged to have good
marital relationship with his wife and it is not permissible for him
to be absent from her more than six months except with her consent;
this has already been discussed in Fataawa 85711and 88304.
As regards the conduct of your husband, he is wrong in many aspects.
For instance, a husband is obliged to spend on his wife and children
according to reasonable grounds and we have already clarified this in
Fatwa 85012, and we also clarified in it that a wife is not required
to spend on herself )and children( even if she is working and that if
she spends without the intention of doing that as an act of charity,
she is permitted to ask her husband to reimburse her for whatever she
had spent.
With regard to the statement that a divorcee is not entitled to
expenditures and accommodation, then this is not completely true. For
example, a husband is obliged to spend on a divorced wife who is
divorced a revocable divorce as long as she is in her waiting period,
and he is also obliged to spend on a divorced wife who is divorced an
irrevocable divorce if she is pregnant until her waiting period is
over ]i.e. until she gives birth[. Afterwards, it is her guardian who
is obliged to spend on her if she has no money as is the case before
she gets married; for more benefit in this regard, please refer to
Fatwa 88233. Also, you may refer to Fatwa 83934for the rights of a
divorced woman on her husband.
However, if we presume that a woman has no one to spend on her, then
in this case it is the Muslim community who is obliged to spend on
her. If the Islamic ruling is applied in a Muslim country, then it is
the treasury that will spend on such woman. As regards the children,
it is their father who is obliged to spend on them in any case as long
as they are young and needy and not able to earn their living.
Concerning what you attributed to some non-Muslim societies that they
give the woman more right than in Islam and that Islam neglects the
woman, then this is very wrong and it is an injustice to Islam. Is it
not enough an injustice in Christianity that a woman is not permitted
to separate from her husband and be divorced from him unless she
commits adultery? For more benefit on the status of woman in Islam
and how Islam preserved her rights, please refer to Fataawa 81237and
81205.
It seems, dear sister, that you want to judge Islam by some wrong
behaviors of Muslims or by some misconceptions that are presented to
you, and there is no doubt that this is not permissible. Therefore, we
advise you to be steadfast on you belief and supplicate Allaah to make
a way out for you to get out of hardship and enable you to take your
right from your husband who wronged you and who wronged Islam to which
he affiliates himself.
Finally, it should be noted that you have the right to take your
husband to the court so that you get your rights from him and the
rights of your children. So, we advise you to take the matter to the
authorities who are responsible for the issues of Muslims so that they
would repel the injustice of your husband from you.
Furthermore, you are obliged to repent to Allaah from such grave
statements by saying that you were wrong by embracing Islam because
such a statement may lead to apostasy and whoever apostates from Islam
he only harms himself and he loses his religion and his worldly life.
Allaah Says )what means(: }And whoever of you reverts from his
religion ]to disbelief[ and dies while he is a disbeliever - for
those, their deeds have become worthless in this world and the
hereafter, and those are the companions of the Fire, they will abide
therein eternally.{]Quran 2:217].
Allaah Knows best.
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