I would like to ask you a question which is killing myself - I tried
to help a women for reverting Islam though before she didnt had any
religion and she agreed to marry with me but in the meantime we had
sex without marriage and aftersometime she broke with me and Allah swt
knows why she did that.
After that I repented a lot..May Allah forgive my sins and I tried to
pray istekhara and during this period she gave the news that she is
pregnant... which I told her that this is the sign for our marriage
but she didnt believe it. Instead of that she got upset and angry as
she became pregnant. Later she told me that she will abort the baby
and we didnt marry.
Now its been 6 months she is carrying the baby and wants to deliever
the child and In this meantime I have send several times of marriage
proposal but she didnt accept. I want my child back as well as her but
she is not agreeing.
What shall I do to get my child back and and I know even we marry now
the child will be illlegitmate. There fore I would like to know what
shall I do as I wana take the responsibility of the child and her and
if its legal to do so... will i lose the child? If child born does he
will have my name and am i legal to take care?
Kindly reply my answer at the earliest.
Praise be to Allah.
We believe that everyone who reads this question must learn from it
and convey that lesson to people, so that they may protect themselves
and their societies from such errors, and understand how doing things
the wrong way must inevitably lead to wrong outcomes, even if the aim
was noble. The aim is not sufficient to make actions right; rather the
action must also be free of any element of evil or corruption, as Ibn
al-Jawzi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: We seek refuge with Allah
from starting any action without basin it on knowledge and reason.
Talbees Iblees, p. 277
Similarly, we read what is mentioned in the question with a great deal
of sorrow. How the nafs (self) that is inclined towards evil could
take advantage of a girl who is interested in Islam, seeking guidance
and to learn about the Qur'an, and make her fall into the pit of
desire and forbidden pleasure, so that her search for guidance turned
into an occasion for resentment, anger and aversion, and showed her
the darkness of sin instead of the light of guidance. No light will be
left in the heart of the sinner; rather he will be stuck in the mire
of his sin, and what has tainted his heart of evil can hardly be
washed away except after sincere repentance, a great deal of praying
for forgiveness, and turning to Allah, may He be exalted, with
humility and humbling oneself before Him, in the hope that He may
pardon and forgive, and help him to come back to obedience to his
Lord, so that he may move beyond this dark stage in which the sin
began by forming a relationship with a non-mahram woman and ended with
zina.
See also fatwa no. 11195
Now that you have knocked at the door of repentance and have turned to
Allah, may He be exalted, you must understand some shar'i rulings
which are very important in your case; we will list them for you
below:
Firstly:
It is not permissible for a Muslim to marry a woman of any other
religion apart from the people of the Book, namely Jews and Christians
and those whom the scholars included under the same heading. As for a
woman who does not follow any religion at all, not even in name only
or on official papers, it is not permissible to marry her. Allah, may
He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe
(worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better
than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases
you"
[al-Baqarah 2:221].
No exception is mentioned except in the case of the people of the
Book, because of the general meanings of the word mushrikaat (fem. pl.
of the word mushrik, meaning one who associate others with Allah).
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to all disbelievers apart from the people of the Book,
such as those who worship whatever they see fit of idols, rocks, trees
and animals, there is no difference of scholarly opinion that it is
haraam to marry their women or eat meat slaughtered by them.
End quote fromal-Mughni, 7/131
This has been discussed previously in fatwa no. 2851
Secondly:
Attributing the child who is born as a result of zina (with a woman
who is not married) to the zaani is also a problematic matter. The
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "If (the
child) is from a free woman with whom he cohabited, he is not to be
attributed (to the zaani) and cannot inherit from him." Narrated by
Abu Dawood inas-Sunan, 2265; classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh
Abi Dawood.
We have previously discussed this issue in more detail in fatwa no.
33591and 175523.
Thirdly:
With regard to m of the child, there is nothing wrong with you
spending on the child who was born as a result of zina if you want to
do so, provided that this is done from a distance, by sending the
money through a bank account for example, without being in contact
with that woman or meeting her, so that the sin will not be repeated
and so that the Shaytaan will not cause temptation between you.
Fourthly:
It is not permissible for you to carry on trying to convince her to
marry. She has been put off and has been faced with distress because
of that sin. Similarly, it is not permissible to use the fact that you
prayed istikhaarah and that she became pregnant as proof that this
marriage is something good. We think that this is a kind of getting
carried away in temptation and is an attempt to confuse that woman.
The marriage that is prescribed by Allah, may He be exalted, and is
liked by Him is not something for which pregnancy that results from
haraam actions can be interpreted as a sign in its favour; rather it
begins with obedience to Allah, may He be glorified, and adherence to
His laws and commands.
Our advice to you is to stop attempting to convince her; rather you
must stop trying to communicate with her in any way, because there is
no way that you can marry her if it becomes clear that she is neither
a Jew nor a Christian. Even if it becomes clear that she is a follower
of one of these two religions, there is no way that you can marry her
because she has refused and is convinced that marriage would fail
after it has been spoiled by zina.
We ask Allah to forgive us and you, and to grant us all well being.
And Allah knows best.
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