ties of kinship will enter Paradise."]At-Tirmithi[
The religion of Islam places great importance on maintaining the ties
of kinship between family members. All Muslims are to show kindness,
generosity, and respect toward both their nearest and most distant
relatives, whether they are Muslims or not. Allah Almighty places such
importance on maintaining the ties of kinship that whoever cuts off
the ties of their family, Allah Almighty cuts them off from Him. And
the Quran goes as far to say that the one who cuts off the ties of
kinship will be cursed.
Allah Almighty says in the Noble Quran )what means(:"But those who
break the covenant of Allah after contracting it and sever that which
Allah has ordered to be joined and spread corruption on earth – for
them is the curse, and they will have the worst home."]Quran 13:25[
These days are an excellent time to mend burnt bridges and reach out
to family members that you may have not seen in a long time or that
you are at odds with.
These blessed days serve to open our hearts and minds as we humble
ourselves before our Creator in sincere worship. Take the first step
in reconnecting with your kin for the sake of Allah Almighty and to
strengthen your family unit.
Take the First Step
Regardless of how much time has passed since you have seen a family
member or whatever transgression has made you keep your distance, use
this time to reach out to a relative that you have been estranged
from.
It's as easy as picking up the phone and inviting him or her to your
home for a meal or meeting in a neutral place, such as a cafe, for a
cup of coffee. The worst that can happen is that they turn you down or
hang up the phone on you. At least Allah Almighty will know that you
tried to fulfill your obligation of maintaining family ties.
But the best that can happen is that your desires for renewing the
relationship will be reciprocated.
Forgiveness is Key
There is no need to rehash the past once your estranged family member
is in your presence. Forgiveness is the key to reestablishing your
bond. So let bygones be bygones, even if in the innermost recesses of
your heart you still feel that your kinsman wronged you.
A perfect exemplar can be found in Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with
him. Word came to him that his very own cousin, whom he had been
giving much financial support, had publicly slandered his beloved
daughter 'Aa'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her. Abu Bakr, may Allah
be pleased with him, immediately stopped giving him charity. Allah
Almighty then revealed the celebrated verse )which means(:
"And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give
]aid[ to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause
of Allah, and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that
Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful." ]Quran
24:22[
No sooner did Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, hear this than
he resumed his cousin's financial assistance, and, indeed, increased
it over what he used to regularly give him.
United We Stand
A family that stands together is far stronger than one splintered into
factions. So even if you are not at odds with one of your kin, you
might know of family members who are not preserving their ties of
kinship. You can do your part as a Muslim by acting as a mediator to
reunite them under the same flag of Islam.
It might be difficult at first, especially since human emotions like
pride and anger get in the way. But remind your family members that it
is really Satan stoking the flames of discontent and that they must
make peace against all odds to maintain the family bond. Should you
find the situation too volatile to handle on your own, con-tact your
local imam or someone in your community known to offer good help in
counseling to assist you in your endeavor.
Watch the Garden Grow
A family that is content with its members is like a garden that bears
the most beautiful fruit and flowers that the human eye has ever
beheld. As the discontent and anger melts away between kin, you will
start to see the flowers in your family's garden blossom to reveal the
beauty that Allah Almighty intended.
To keep that garden flourishing, weed out problems before they take
root and nip familial discord in the bud. Most importantly, water your
garden with lots of blessings from Allah, the All-Powerful, to keep
your family together.
Trust in Allah Almighty and supplicate Him for assistance to keep your
family thriving for many years to come.
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