principals, but are forced to compromise, I appeal to the resigned
mothers who combine family withcareer, and I appeal to the beautiful
loners.
I have married 13 years ago against my parent's will. I've been crying
in my first marriage night, sitting on the bedroom suit. I gave birth
to two children, which are very close with me. They painfully miss me,
when Iam travelling, or I am working, or I am under treatment far from
home.
I will not go in details about my life.
My real problem, which I am trying intuitively to solve, started 4
years ago.We have never had regular sexual life with my husband, but
some years ago he definite boycotted the intimacy with me.
I've tried to talk to him – he didn't want. I did my best to be very
gentile with him – no success. I've been bagging him to sleep with me.
I am an attractive woman, lovable and tender. I could not find
explanation for his behavior. I felt physical pain from the need of
sex. I had dizziness, I fainted I've been trembling; my hands and
tongue were tingling. I had two hard nerve crises. I have been
testingdifferent medicines for a long time, while the doctors were
trying to diagnose my problem. I've passed so many diagnoses and
finally they said panic disease. During a scandal with myhusband he
mentioned that I am zero in the bed. I was so deeply hurt, that I
became speechless.
I haven't been touched by a man for about a year. The ruins from the
decided woman woke upin me and I betrayed. AndI did it again – with
otherman. I started to discoverhow different I can be when I am really
excited. Excuse me for the naturalistic descriptions, but I have
nothing to lose, a lot of women would understand.
My husband was jealous, even though he didn't know for the others. I
was trying not to be. When one morning he said that he'd been writing
SMS with a woman we knew, but her husband understood.Everything
turned. He had been sleeping with her. He did not deny. Before the
confession sheused to come to our house only when he was alone. After
his confession about the relationship with her I started to calm him
down. It was seen he wasmuch tensed. The atmosphere at home
waspoisoned for the next two weeks. I wished to hurt him, and I told
him I had other men too. Since that moment already seven months except
thatwe don't make sex, we talk officially only. We started to chase
each other. And we fight in a really ugly way.
We have totally different eyesight for our kids' upbringing.
No more tenderness.
Each of us steals it outside. He sits chatting when we are at home. I
start to act bitingly.
We turned on co-tenant, which are growing up common kids. We hate each
other. We are jealous form each other. We can't stand each other. We
avoid each other. We talked for separation.
He said he can't stay away from our daughter.What about our son? I
can't live without my kids, but I can't bear him anymore. I feel
incapableof falling in love again. He suspects I want to live with
another man. It's funny and miserable. I just can't live with him. I
am shocked. I can't leave.And I have no where. I have no resources. I
am unable to take care of mykids alone. And I can't stay without them.
It's a long story.
What am I supposed to do??
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