trust with a child - Tips and advice onhow to trust your child and
retain his or her trustand respect according to the teachings of Islam
(Tawakkul).
Upon birth, a child loves and trusts his parents implicitly. As the
child grows, however, things can change because of certain
circumstances. It'snot enough that you loveyour child; your child must
also be able to trust you. As a child grows older, they notice things
like whether or not their parent lied to them or whether their parent
broke a promise. Even if the child doesn't mentionit, they still file
these factsaway and for some, the relationship changes. It only takes
one lie, for some kids and the child isnever trusting again. No parent
wants to lose a child's trust, but we are all human and we all have
had unexpected things to arise, preventing us from keeping our word.
There is nothing you can do to prevent the unexpected, but all in all,
keep your word to your child, no matter what.
Lying is the number one reason that kids don't trust their parents.
The lies don't have to be told to the child, either. The child can
overhear you lying to a neighbor or friend and the impact could be the
same. Breaking a promise, the same as lying, is another reason
children don't trust. A promise is usually made to someone when
something is very important. The breaking of that promise causes the
child to feel as though the subject was not important to the parent.
Keep your word to your child at all costs, but when something
unexpected prevents youfrom keeping a promise, sit down and explain
the circumstances to the child. Explain how you couldn't be in two
places at once, and so on. Never just announce to the child that you
couldn't make it and that's the end of the subject. Give them an
explanation, justas you would expect if someone you love lied to you.
Being a hypocrite is another reason a child will lose trust in you.
Pretending to be someone's friend, then talking about the person
behind his back, embarrassing the child infront of people or laughing
at the child's ideas are other ways to kill their trust.
When a child has made a mistake, but comes to you and tells the truth,
make sure he knows howmuch you appreciate thisand be sure the
punishment is much lighter than if he had liedor tried to cover up
what he did. Once a child sees that he can come to you with problems,
he will bemore likely to trust you with his troubles in the future.
As children grow into teens, many parents havea habit of looking
through their belongingsand their room. This is a definite way to get
your child not to trust you. Thechild expects you to trust him or her
and when yousearch through personal belongings, you are telling the
child that you don't trust him. If you don't trust them, why should
they trust you? Trust is usually a mutual thing and when one doesn't
trust, often, the other won't either.
Basically, if you want to trust your child and have him trust you,
treat him with respect, keep your word, let him know how much you love
him, don'tbreak your promises, don't be a hypocrite and take the time
to explain to the child if something prohibits you from doingwhat you
promised. It's important to keep the trust of your child for a future
relationship with him that is loving and trusting.
Tips for building Trust in Islam:
Trust is so fragile that is hard to put back to its original state
when broken. Trust is like a vase, once it's broken, though you can
fix it, the vase will never be same again. So following are some of
the Tips on how to build Trust:
*.Never tell a lie, always tell the truth. And, say itkindly and tactfully.
*.Be real; do not act like somebody you are not.
*.Do not gossip about other people's life. The one you are talking to
may think you are gossiping her at her back. The worst scene is- she
even pass what you said to other people too.
*.Never betray a confidence. Do not tell the secrets confided to you.
*.Keep all the promises you made. If you cannot keep a promise, better
not to promise atall.
*.When you borrow something, always return it as soon as possible on time.
Confidence, Trust and Hope:
Confidence: Once upon a time in a certain village people decided to
pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one
boy came with an umbrella. That is Confidence, the boy was optimistic
and confident that the prayers will be answered and definitely it was
going to rain! Thatis why he carried the umbrella.
Trust: Trust should be likethe feeling of a one year old child, when
you throw him up in the air, he just laughs. He is happy; he wants you
to do it again and again! Doyou know why? It's because he knows and
trusts in you and has confidence that you will catch him and that you
will never let him/her fall. That is Trust.
Hope: Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to get up alive
in the next morning, but still we have plans for thecoming day. That
is Hope.
Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured and
something that will refresh us in return. And it can be found in each
ofus and it can bring light into the darkest of places.
Well-mannered model of good life: Be Confidence; Trust Others; and
never lose Hope.
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