have to uphold ties with them and visit them as I visit my mother and
siblings through blood ties? I used to visit them, then it was said to
me that I do not have to do that, and I am confused about that.
Praise be to Allaah.
The shar'i rulings concerning relationshipsthrough breastfeeding are
not the same as the rulings concerning relationships through blood
ties. Breastfeeding(radaa'ah) does not mean that one is obligedto
spend on those relatives, or that one is entitled to inherit from
them, or that one may be a guardian for the purpose of marriage –
unlike the case with ties of blood.
What they have in common is that people related in either way
areforbidden to marry, and may look at one anotherand be alone with
one another, and are regarded as mahrams for the purpose of travel.
This is the wisdom of sharee'ah, because Islamcannot give a mother who
breastfed a child five times the same rights as the mother who carried
him, gave birth to him, breastfed him and brought him up, and is the
reason for the child's existence. Canthe love, compassion and devotion
in the heart of the blood mother be likened to that in the heart of
the mother through breastfeeding?
There are verses of the Qur'aan which refer to that. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents.
His mother borehim in weakness and hardship upon weaknessand hardship,
and his weaning is in two years"
[Luqmaan 31:14]
And Allaah says, after commanding the child totreat his parents well
and forbidding him to do the slightest act of disobedience towards
them (interpretation of the meaning):
"and say: 'My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up
when I was young'"
[al-Isra' 17:24]
Hence some of the scholars said that a son through breastfeeding has
to respect and honour his mother and his parents through
breastfeeding, but he does not have to honourthem and uphold ties with
them in the same way as a son is obliged to honour his parents and
relatives by blood.
There are several da'eef (weak) ahaadeeth on this topic, which we will
mention here so that people may be aware of them.
1 – It was narrated that al-Tufayl (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: I saw the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
sharing out some meat in al-Ji'raanah, when a woman came up to the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he spread out
her cloak for her, and she sat down on it. I said, "Who is she?" They
said, "This is his mother who breastfed him."
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 5144; classed asda'eef by al-Albaani inDa'eef
Abi Dawood, 1102.
Ibn Hibbaan (10/44) included this hadeeth in a chapter which he
called, "Ways in which it is recommended for a person to honour the
one who breastfed him when he was small."
2 – It was narrated from 'Umar ibn al-Saa'ib that he heard that the
Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
wassitting when his father through breastfeeding came to him; he
spread part of his cloak for him and he sat on it. Then hismother
through breastfeeding came to him and he spread part of his cloak on
the other side and she sat on it. Then his brother through
breastfeeding came and the Messengerof Allaah(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) stood up for him and made him sit in front of him.
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 5145; classed asda'eef by al-Albaani
inal-Silsilah al-Da'eefah, 1120.
3 – It was narrated from Hajjaaj ibn Hajjaaj al-Aslami that his father
asked the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "O
Messenger of Allaah, how can I repay the favour of breastfeeding?" He
said: "(By giving) a male or female slave."
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1153; al-Nasaa'i, 3329; Abu Dawood, 2064.
Classed as da'eef by al-Albaani inDa'eef Abi Dawood, 445.
Al-Suyooti said inSharh al-Nasaa'i, 6/108.
What is meant by repaying the favour of breastfeeding is the duties
that are owed as a result of having been breastfed. It is as if he is
asking, How can I waive the duties I owe as a result of having been
breastfed so that I will have paid them off in full? They used to
regardit as something good to give a gift to the wet nurse once the
child hadbeen weaned, other the wages that had be agreed upon. End
quote.
4 – The biographers said that when the captive woman of Hawaazin
hadbeen gathered together,their spokesman Zuhayr ibn Sard came and
said: "O Messenger of Allaah, inside the enclosure are your mothers,
your maternal aunts and yournursemaids. Do us a favour (and free us),
may Allaah bless you."
These ahaadeeth speak of honouring and respecting, which are Islamic
manners that are encouraged with regardto all Muslims. This is the
reason why the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) set
them all free.
Al-Bidaayah wa'l-Nihaayah, 4/419
And Allaah knows best.
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