Dought & clear, - He wants to do Hajj first and his father wants him to get married first

Will I be disobeying my father because of the following?
1. My father (may Allah have mercy on him) wanted me to start looking
to get married, but I refused because I wanted to complete my
postgraduate studies.
2. The money that I saved was sufficient to get married (the marriage
contract only). Please note that I have a job.
3. Then I was not able totravel in order to complete my postgraduate
studies, so I decided to start a small business in the hope that I
could earn some money with which to do Hajj. This project was a
partnership between meand him; it was a piece of land (the price of
which was not enough to do Hajj). We were planning to change the house
in which we live because of the annoyance caused by the neighbours,
may Allah guide them.
4. My father refused to do Hajj with this money because he said that
it was my money, not his.
5. After a discussion which did not lead anywhere, I said: I am going
to do Hajj, but he told me to get married first.
6. Now – after he died inRamadan – they are asking me to do what
hewanted me to do, but I am telling them that I want to do Hajj first.
7. The land is now yielding enough money to perform the obligatory
Hajj; he and I paid off the debt (the price of the land) before he
died.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Hajj is obligatory and should be done at the earliest opportunity
according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. This has
been discussed in the answer to question no. 41702.
If the available money is sufficient for either doing Hajj or getting
married, then precedence should be given to marriage if there is a
need for that and there is the fear of falling into haraam. If there
is no (urgent) need for marriage, then Hajj should be given
precedence.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said inal-Mughni(5/12): If
(the individual)needs to get married and fears that he may encounter
hardship, then he should give precedence to marriage,because it is
obligatory in his case and he cannot do without it, so it is like
spending on his maintenance. If there is no such fear, he should give
precedence to Hajj, because marriage is voluntary and should not be
given precedenceover the obligatory Hajj. End quote.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it
permissible to delay Hajj until after getting married for one who is
able to do it? That is because of what the youth are facing nowadays
of temptation, both great and small.
He replied:
There is no doubt that marriage, for one who has the desire and urgent
need for it, takes precedence over Hajj, because if an individual has
overwhelming desire, in that case marriage becomes one of the
necessities of life, like eating and drinking.Hence it is permissible
for one who needs to get married and does not have any money to be
given zakaah funds with which to get married, just as the poorperson
may be given food to suffice him and clothes with which to cover his
'awrah out of the zakaah funds.
Based on that, we say: if he needs to get married,then he should give
marriage precedence over Hajj, because Allah, may He be glorified and
exalted, stipulated that in order for Hajj to be obligatory, one must
be able to do it, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And Hajj (pilgrimage to Makkah) to the House (Ka'bah) is a duty that
mankind owes to Allah, those who can afford the expenses (for one's
conveyance, provision and residence)"
[Aal 'Imraan 3:97].
In the case of one who isyoung and it does not matter for him whether
he gets married this yearor next year, then he should give precedence
to Hajj because it is not necessary for him to giveprecedence to
marriage.
End quote fromFataawa Manaar al-Islam, 2/375
Based on that, if you do not have any fears (of falling into haraam)
if you delay marriage, then you should hasten to do Hajj first, and
Allah will compensate you with good, because Hajj is one of the
important obligatory duties and rituals of Islam.
You do not have to carry out your father's wishes with regard to this
matter, either during hislifetime or after his death, because that
would result in your delaying Hajj when there is no need to do so.
Secondly:
You should have tried to please your father by giving precedence to
marriage over completing your postgraduate studies. It was narrated
from ImamAhmad (may Allah have mercy on him) that marriage is
obligatory if either of the parents tell you to get married.
Al-Mirdaawi said: Is it (marriage) obligatory if the parents, or one
of them, tell the son to get married? Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy
on him) said: If he has parents who are telling him to get married,
thenI tell him to get married. Or if he is a young man who fears that
he may commit sin, I tell him to get married.
By saying this, he made the parents' instructions to get married
equivalent to fearing that one may commit sin.
End quote fromal-Insaaf, 8/14
Thirdly:
There is nothing wrong with a father doing Hajj with his son's wealth;
in fact there is nothing wrong with a person doing Hajj with another
person's wealth in general. But if a person was not able to do the
obligatory Hajj because he could not afford the expenses, then he
became able to afford it if someone else pays for it, does he have to
accept this money in order to do Hajj? There is a difference of
opinion among the fuqaha' concerning that.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: He is not obliged to
do Hajj if someone else spends on it, and he does not become able to
do it thereby (and thus it doesnot become obligatory for him), whether
the one who gives him the money is a relative or otherwise, and
whether he gives him a means of transportation and provisions, or he
gives him money. However, it was narrated from ash-Shaafa'i that if a
person's son gives him money that enables him to do Hajj, then he is
obliged to do it, becausehe has enabled him to do Hajj without feeling
that he owes a favour to anyone, and no harm or annoyance will result
from that. Therefore he is obliged to do Hajj, as would be the case if
he possessed sufficient provisions and a mount.
In our view, the words of the Prophet (blessingsand peace of Allah be
upon him) make Hajj binding on one who has a means of transportation
and sufficient funds to cover the costs of the journey. However, in
the case where someone else offers to over these costs, he is not
regarded as having the means or the money to obtain the means, so Hajj
is not obligatory for him. The same applies if his fatheroffers to
help him, because we do not thinkthat the father will not feel that he
owes him a favour in this case.
End quote fromal-Mughni, 3/87
To sum up: it is obligatory for you to hasten to do Hajj, so long as
you do not think that you will fall into haraam as a result of
delaying marriage, and you should ask Allah, may He be exalted, for
forgiveness for having gone against your father's instructions when he
told you to get married first.
We ask Allah to help and guide you.
And Allah knows best.