well. Therefore, telling the existence, oneness and greatness of
Allah and inviting them to live by the Quran values, is a great
blessing and a very important worship for Muslims. For this reason,
believers remember Allah, always say the best of the words, preach
the message of Islam, enjoin the good, and forbid the bad. However,
they avoid turning conversations into a monologue, without
allowing anyone else to speak, as they know this is not the attitude
preached by Quran's moral values.
Allah states in the following verse that everything everyone says
are recorded:
" No indeed! We will write down what he says and prolong the
punishment for him. We will inherit from him the things he is talking
about and he will come to Us all alone." (Surah Maryam, 79-80)
Therefore people are responsible for every idea and thought they
have, everything they do, just like everything they say and they
will be treated accordingly in the hereafter. For this reason the
goal of a person must be avoiding to say a word that could make him
ashamed and repent at the Sight of Allah.
Those who are aware of this important truth revealed by our Lord in
the Quran and who live by these good moral values, are no doubt the
'believers'. The believers, spend all their lives to gain the
pleasure of Allah. Everything they do, every decision they make,
their actions, behaviors are all intended to please Allah. The same
thing goes for their speeches, conversations and tone. The
believers, in pursuit of Allah's pleasure, will speak only if what
he is going to say, will make a positive contribution to the person
he is talking to. They never seek to draw attention, show off their
knowledge when they are speaking to someone. Sometimes they don't
talk at all, and just listen. And sometimes it might be just a
couple of sentences that is needed to convey his opinion and chooses
to benefit from the ideas of the other person instead. However,
some people use a far different style of speech other than the one
based the Quran's moral values.
The mistakes that prevent a conversation from being a wise one
The believers will only speak for Allah's pleasure, and only if that
speech is going to make a positive impact on the person he is
speaking to. He doesn't seek to be on the forefront. However, many
people just try to be one in the spotlight, making all the talk,
acting with an attitude of 'I know the best, so I have to talk the
most'. Some of these undesired qualities can be listed as follows:
never listening to anyone, and interrupting others, usually talking
with a loud voice. This way these people think that they can make
others listen to them and gain their respect. They never hesitate to
shout in attempts to show how right they are, or to deter, convince
or silence others. However Muslims talk with a reasonable level of
voice. Allah shows the Prophet Luqman (pbuh) as an example to
believers. The Prophet Luqman (pbuh) advises his son as follows:
Be moderate in your tread and lower your voice. The most hateful of
voices is the donkey's bray . (Surah Luqman, 19)
These people don't ever think of listening to others or benefitting
from their ideas. According to them, turning conversations into a
one-man conference is an achievement, makes them superior,
therefore they never imagine that it could disturb other people.
According to them, it is not possible for others to have more
knowledge in a subject or put it in a more clever way. This is an
attitude the believers must refrain from strictly. Our Lord states
as follows:
... We raise the rank of anyone We will. Over everyone with
knowledge is a Knower. (Surah Yusuf, 76)
People with the 'I know the best' attitude, usually try to give the
appearance of being the smartest, wisest and most knowledgeable
person around. They don't need deep knowledge or expertise to act
like that, it could be something everyone knows, or that they only
know of superficially, or that they heard from others. In every
opportunity, they try to prove their so-called knowledge and
experience to people around them. Just like it is the case in many
other bad habits, the source of 'I know the best' attitude comes from
the inner self, the enemy of wisdom and common sense.
Listening to a speaking person courteously without interrupting is a
good attitude, which will hopefully be a means for Allah's
pleasure. Such behavior will also be an indication of respect to the
speaker. However, people away from Quran's moral values, usually
don't listen to others, and even interrupt or talk at the same
time. This is especially common on debate programs on TVs. Even
well-educated people that are expected to behave in a more proper
way, can be very impolite and uncivil. Such people, instead of
trying to benefit from what is explained, just strive to make others
listen to them and concede defeat.
Making long sentences during conversations is another attitude that
usually makes others uncomfortable. Usually, one is expected to
pause between sentences and ask the opinions of others. If another
person starts speaking too, he also must avoid repeating the
sentences, and make long sentences. Also, changing the subject and
starting to talk about something else while someone is still trying
to say something are other actions that must be abstained from.
Believers, out of courtesy, listen to the speaker while looking in
the face of that person, not force anyone to listen, especially if
that person is trying to leave.
Listening to a speaking person courteously without interrupting is a
good attitude, which will hopefully be a means for Allah's
pleasure. Such behavior will also be an indication of respect to the
speaker.
It is of course very natural for a specialized person to talk, in an
area that requires expertise. However, everyone should join in so
that everyone can express their opinions and ideas. This will make
sure that everyone's opinions are learned, and it also gives the
opportunity to have an idea about people's personality. Thoughts
such as 'he knows less than I do, so he shouldn't talk' or 'only
those ones with knowledge should talk' are wrong. Maybe someone has
less technical knowledge compared to others, but one who has been
given wisdom by Allah, may come to realize aspects of the subject
that others are unknown to others. Or perhaps the person that knows
all the details about the subject got drowned in details and missed
the big picture. For these reasons, it is significant that every
person that is participating in a conversation, expresses their
ideas so that new ideas and points of view are known.
The Prophet Mohammad (saas) also drew attention to unnecessary
conversations which don't include praising Allah in one hadith:
Ibn Umar (RA) narrates:
"The Prophet Mohammad (saas) said: "Don't talk too much other than
for praising Allah. Because talking too much other than talking
about Allah, will make the heart gloomy (hard). Know that, one that
is farthest from Allah is who has a gloomy heart."(Tirmidhi, Zuhd
62, (2413). (5891)
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