them; those that are like medicine and are beneficial, so you need
them sometimes; and finally, those that are likea sickness and you do
notneed them at all!
Prophet Muhammad (saw) has said, "The believer is like a mirror to
other believers (in truthfulness)." Like a mirror, your friend gives
you an honest image. He forgives your mistakes, but does not hide or
exaggerate your strengths and weaknesses.
Once Prophet Muhammad(saw) was asked, "What person can be the best
friend?" "He who helps you remember Allah (SWT), and reminds you when
you forget Him," the Prophet Muhammad (saw), counseled.
Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (as)said: "A friend cannot be considered a
friend unless he is tested on three occasions: in time of need, behind
your back and after your death."
Imam Jafar Sadiq (as)alsoremarks, "My best friend is the one who gifts
me my weaknesses and shortcomings." In other words one who brings
toyour notice your defects and flaws is indeed your true friend.
However, there is one very imperative point in the above-mentioned
tradition of Imam Jafar Sadiq (as). When one presents an offering to a
close friend, he does so with utmost care, not willing to overlook
anything. He offers the gift with total respect and regard. For, even
themost valuable gift if not presented with correct etiquette, can
look very ordinary. While presenting the offering, the friend tries to
make the most expensive gift seem very ordinary so as to not embarrass
the recipient. On the other hand, the recipient of this gift tries to
make even the most ordinary gift seem very precious, so as to please
his friend. Similarly, when we wish to point out certain shortcomings
to a friend, we must do so with a degree of respect and sincerity. Our
sole intention must be to reform the friend and there should be no
hint of any malice and self-righteousness. Likewise, when a friend
highlights for us, our defects, we must acknowledge the same with
respect and gratitude without any ill will and hostility.
Imam Hassan Askari (as) Says: "Those who advise their friend secretly
are respecting them, and those who advise them openly are humiliating
them."
Indeed if we establish these as the standards of friendship, the
believers shall soon find themselves enveloped with friends who will
take them closer to Paradise and farther away from the fire of hell.
Allah (SWT) says in the Noble Qur'an: O you who believe! Take care of
your souls; he who errs cannot hurt you when you are on the right
way;to Allah is your return, of all (of you), so He will inform you of
what you did. (Surah Al-Maeda, 5:105)
There are certain tips to remember if you wish to keep a stable friendship.
Do not dispute with him and do not be hostile to him.
Do not ridicule him. Do not quarrel with him. Instead accord friends
the respect they deserve.
Imam Hassan (as) Says:"Befriend people in the same manner you would
like them to befriend you."
Do not hold him in contempt nor consider him to be lower than you.
Instead guard the honor of your friends during their absence andafter
their death.
Do not claim precedence and supremacy over him. Instead forgive the
short-comings of your friends, because everyone makes mistakes in
life.
Do not crack indecent jokeswith him.
Finally, we ask Allah (SWT) to make us of the righteous ones and give
us companions that will take us away from His Wrath and lead us to His
Pleasure and Paradise.
No comments:
Post a Comment