declared our love, you know and the rest of it. This was five years
ago, and I still love her. We've both had other relationships and both
kept running back to one another because we felt the love all the
time, I love her and she loves me yet we hide it cos of the breakups
we've had. I hurt her, shehurt me. We lost one another for three
months, almost and then she came back in my life. She is still with
ginger waldo and I found someone because I genuinely thought I lost
her forever. I declared my love...eventually and she did after some
hiccups along the way of making me jealous etc. It worked, I was like
putty to her, but I held back a little, not wanting to go through that
heartbreak again and I came clean about it. I mean I did everything
for her, moved to another country and sacrificed a lot! She knows this
and says she appreciates it and I guess I believe her. Anyway I told
her I want her back and that she needs to step up and commit to me
properly, no more half assing it. We kept talking the whole of last
week and then it stopped on Monday because I was scared after a bit of
online intimacy. In all honesty it was amazing, but immediately I
thought is it just sexual or are we going to make this happen?! I
still was weird the next day and then on Monday I was kidding and
accidentally pissed her off. Not great Iknow but she asked for space
and I gave it. I'm beginning to feel she didn't want me to begin with.
She said I did what he usually does - freak out, and I told her I
neverdenied it at all and that I am sorry blah blah blah and the times
she behaved this way like thesoldier I am I marched onand took it in
my stride and dealt with her moodswings. Did I deal with I a lot -
hell yes I did!But I know we are two different individuals but love is
love and I lost all that negativity on Monday but I pissed her off too
much. I really really do love her so much, I would sacrifice my life
for her in a millisecond! She knows this but apparently doesn't feel
it since I was scared of her leaving again. I proved my love so many
times by dumping my gfs and choosing her each and every time.
I know she comes on here, wel I hope it's this site, if not ill keep
posting until she reads it.
Baby, walahi I lve you so much, you took my heart the moment I saw
your picture of you holding a banana as a gun, or the first time I saw
you on cam and you were studying saying:"Chapter2, chapter 4"
obviously I cracked up but you looked hot. I loveyour smile or the
crazy faces you pull, so baby let's admit...there are lots. I love
everything there is about you, I know I get annoyed at your moods but
baby I have dealt with them for five yrs so relax, I just want to hold
you in my arms and give you my special baby kisses on your forehead
and make you mine forever, 24/7 every single day. I proposed once, I
will do it again and again until I'm yours, and you are mine and we
make our family once and for all like we discussed it! Now baby please
give me a smile and get your ass back to me cos in my arms is where
you belong, you're already in my heart, you never left. Iknow what
you're thinking so stop! We both blocked it and are guilty of that.
Think of this, if I didn't I would never have cried all thosetimes
last week, I never would have become annoyed and passionate about how
we kept breaking up. I care, love, want, need, miss you baby. You know
it! I love you my Carmen! Your Shane.
Btw, we are both women. Not that it matters, but yeah!
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