i am a sister who has avery low self esteem i think what in the
ahadith our habbib(saw) termed as destructive hayyah that restricts
you from becoming a productivemuslim in society and even to her
immediatefamily i just don't havethe courage to go out and look for a
job eventhough i am a graduate,socialising with other fellow human
being seems a task to me i rather avoid them ,i am not a bad-tempered
and hard to approach person but there is this fear of people in me i
have many times contemplated paying avisit to a psychologist to
resolve my problem but my heart always tells me that their solution in
most cases is non-islamic and somehow i have this feeling that i'll be
complaining against Allah's decree to a lowly human like me so i have
been praying to Him to resolve my problem and inshallah i think this
is Him guiding me to ask you the muslim scholars out there to help me
with these immense hindrance to my life and advise me on what steps to
take to inshallah over come it wabillahi tawfiq
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
I pray that you are feeling better.
There is nothing wrong with going to a psychologist. As long as your
therapist does not suggest any measures which contradict Sacred Law,
then by all means, go seek help.
Remember that Allah Most High is aware of what you are going through.
Ask Him for strength, patience, and peace of mind.
These are trying times for Muslims. As women, we often come under
extra scrutiny, especially if we wear hijab. What we should be
thankful for is the opportunity to rise to these challenges and
represent the best ofour deen.
You may want to consider the sources of these feelings. Did people put
you down as a child? Do you put yourself down? Is your self-esteem
contingent on what other people think of you? Are you notgiving
yourself enough credit?
Alhamdulilah, you managed to get through school and graduate,
something which a lot ofpeople are not able to accomplish. You already
have the ability to pursue your goals. Now it's time to cultivate that
sense of confidence that will get you where you need to go.
As women, we can be very self-conscious. However, what I have realized
is that our inner voice is often the harshest. Usually, people are not
as critical of us aswe think. It's important to examine that inner
voice that oftens tells us we're not good enough, smart enough, pretty
enough, etc. Ultimately, we have to find that voice that validates us
and tells us: You are a believer, you are a Muslim, you are a woman,
you are a slave of Allah. This is what gives us true
affirmation.Remember, the Prophet, peace be upon him said,"Truly
amazing is the affair of the believer. His affair only contains good.
If he is blessed with good he thanks Godand in that there is good.And
if he is afflicted withdifficulty he patiently endures and in that
there is good." (Sahih Muslim)
Human beings are social creatures. We need otherpeople. That's why
it's important to have a strong support system. Forge close
relationships with your family members. Surround yourself with good
friends who are religously and morally upright. Don't hang around
people who discourage you or put you down. And remember the great
solace one can find in seeking sacred knowledge and drawing closer to
Allah Most High. Join a sisters' study circle,or start one of your
own.Insha'Allah, you can make new friendships and boost your
confidence in the process.
No comments:
Post a Comment