I was 14 when i decided to wear the niqaab and I moved to another
country at 15 and now at 16, I'm starting to feel doubts about wearing
it. To start off with, I'm mixed race and for some reason or the other
i don't feel fully accepted by my father's family (who are all
Pakistani) and we don't have a lot of contact with my maternal side,
although they're wary of us as they're not Muslim. Anyway, I've been
bothered by a sense of alienation for quite some time now. Having
spent the last two years in loneliness(being an introverted person i
find it hard to establish new friendship .... So, with no friends and
no family who I can rely on, I'm quite lonely... Although Allah should
be enough for me.
I started wearing the niqaab when my brother, who was in Jordan, told
me that the ladies in his area all wear niqaab, so i said i would wear
niqaab too and i didn'ttake it off after that. I returned to England
and i continued to wear it. Alhumdulillah,I've never
encounteredanything other than verbal abuse - Allah has protected me
Alhumdulillah.
But this feeling of alienation has been bothering me increasingly as
of late.... I'm so confused and this confusion is emotionally
exhausting. What do i do?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
I pray you are in good health and iman.
Thank you for your message. I apologize for the delay in responding.
Dear sister,
Wearing niqab is a good thing to do if it gives youpeace of mind.
However, please keep in mind that you are not shirking your obligation
to Allah Ta'ala if you remove yourniqab. I understand that you were
inspired by theexample of the women in Jordan.
However, if you allow me, I suggest that not every woman has the same
experience wearing niqab. A woman's ability to wear niqab is often
contingentupon her environment. Some environments are very welcoming.
Others are not. I'm not sure what your environment is like in
Pakistan. However, I do know that wearing niqab in the West is very
difficult. Some of the scholars on SunniPath, most notably Shaykh Nuh
Keller, caution against wearing niqab in the West [generally]. Why?
Because women who wear niqab in places likeAmerica and Europe often
experience the very alienation and verbal abuse that you describe.
What is most important is establishing your own relationship with
Allah Ta'ala, not so much based on what other women do, but on your
own personal convictions. Your obligation is to wear hijab: to cover
your bodywith modest, loose-fitting clothing. You are allowed to show
your face, hands, and feet (according to the Hanafi School). Focus on
fulfilling this obligation first. At the same time, focus on your
relationship with Allah Ta'ala. Be constant in reading the Qur'an.
Makeremembrance of Allah. Ask Him for guidance and comfort. You should
definitely make salat al-istikhara, or the guidance prayer in this
situation.
_______________________________________________Dear Sister, please try
to find some friends. Don't think that wearing niqabis preventing you
from making friends. It soundslike the problem is more an issue of
cultural alienation. Learning something of the people's language and
customs probably wouldn't hurt and might help you to adjust better.
Last but not least, why not try to make some inroads with your family
in Pakistan and back in the West. Even some basic communication might
help, such as a letter, a card, or even a phone call. Whatever youdo,
please keep in mind that wearing niqab and having a good relationship
with your family are separate issues.
Don't feel guilty for wanting to take off your niqab. It's possible
that now is not the best time to wear niqab. It's completely natural
for you to feel lonely. The main point is to try to remedy your
loneliness while drawing closer to Allah Ta'ala.
Here's a beautiful Hadith Qudsi in that spirit:
Hadith Qudsi 25:
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who
said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) said:
"Allah (mighty and sublime be He) said:
'Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war
with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by
Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him,and My servant
continuesto draw near to Me with supererogatory works sothat I shall
love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his
seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot
with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely
give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant
him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about
[seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate
hurting him.'"
May Allah Ta'ala facilitatea beneficial solution for you and give you
good friends.
And Allah knows best.
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