Fathwa, - Marriage and islamic teachings about living with in-laws

Question:
I have received a marriage proposal from an excellent practicing and
knowledgable muslim brother, Alhamdullillah. The only hinderance in
making any decision isthat he and his family (including his younger
brother) want to live together in one house, meaning everyone living
on the same floor, sharing one bathroom and so forth.This is going to
be a very difficult situation for me regarding privacy and parda. i
will have to be in hijaband proper outfit while performing house
chores around the house. This brother agreed earlier that they
understand this situation and are planning to move into a different
house where this won't be a problem (maybe makeseparate portions).
However, now this brother and his family have changed their plan and
have decided to live the way they are living now (everybody living
together and i will only have a bedroom) and will live the same way
anywhere they move. I would like to know what is the Islamic teaching
on this. The brother is really nice and religious , mashallah but
living together is the only problem that is hindering me from making
any decision.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
I apologize for taking so long to reply.
Choosing a spouse is one of the most important decisions you'll ever
make. Looking for someone with good religion and character is
foremost. However, this is not the only consideration. Women should
also look for men with stable and lawful incomes, and the ability to
support them adequately.
Please see Ustadha Hedaya Hartford'sIslamicMarriageat a lmuhajabat.com
for more details on choosinga spouse.
At the very least, a man has to provide his wife with her own separate
apartment, even if it's within the confines of his family's home. The
wife should have her own living area, bedroom, bathroom, andkitchen.
Please think long and hard before you put yourself in a situation
where you have no privacy. You deserve your own space. This is not a
luxury, but a religious obligation upon your husband.
And Allah knows best.
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