Fathwa - Friend's sister is"marrying" a non-Muslim

Question:
I am asking this question on behalf of afriend. She comes froma family
where her mother is a convert, her father a pious Muslim, and she and
her siblings were raised in an Islamic environment. Her older sister
was previously married to a very difficult man, and she has children
from that first marriage. She finally got the strength to leave him,
but now, after having considered a number of Muslim men who each
turned out to be poor choices for marriage, she has decided to marry a
non-Muslim. He is a good man, seems to bemorally upright, and treats
her much better than the Muslim men have. My friend knows that this is
not acceptable religiously and is concerned not only about her sister
and the future of her sisters' children, but is also worried about how
she herself shoulddeal with the situation. Should she keep her
distance altogether (thereby somewhat cutting off relations with her
sister, which of course she does not think is right to do), or be nice
to the guy because he is nice and also because setting a goodexample
will be good da'wah, or just maintain a relationship with her sister
while trying to "ignore" the presence of the "husband"? And if this
marriage lasts inthe present condition (with him not converting,
etc.), should she allow her own children to interact with this
"family"?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
Given the sensitivity of the situation, it is best if this matter is
taken up with a leading member of the community.
I can only give you some general advice:
1.Just because some Muslim men are bad husbands doesn't meanthat all
of them are. This is not an excuse to give up on Muslim men.
2.Marriage to a non-Muslim man remains impermissible, despite the
sister's harsh experiences withMuslim men.
3.Shunning the man is not a good idea. The sin is hers not his.
Therefore, he is deserving of kind treatment, which is thebest da'wah.
4.She needs to let her sister know that this situation is unlawful,
and, therefore, very displeasing to Allah. If she really wants
barakain her marriage, then she'll ask this man to take shahada.
5.She should not cut her sister off. However, sheshould also maintain
some distance because continuing things"business as usual" may convey
the impression that she endorses the situation.
6.It is probably best not to allow her children tostay in her sister's
home until the situation becomes lawful.And Allah knows best.