Fathwa, - First night dua is evil?

Question:
I do not understand why (question ID 538) the dua to be recited on the
first night only speaks of the evil in women. Evil is in men too. Men
are not perfect. Both are Allah's creation. I thinkmany women would
object to such an insult. Being called evilon your wedding night. That
is not romantic or nice. The dua should at least be mutual celebrating
thegood in both men and women and the evil in both men and women.
Women are not evil. If they were God would not have created them for
men to enjoy life with, to carry offspring, made responsible for the
upbringing and care ofchildren.
What is the Islamic basis for such a dua? I would like to have exact
references to either hadith or Qur'an.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May Allah's peace and blessings shower upon our beloved Messenger.
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you in good health and spirits.
This dua comes from the Sunna of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and
give him peace.
Before judging these words according to our modern sensibilities, it
is worthwhile to consider the context. Most of the ahadith, or
sayings, of the Prophet were uttered in the presence of men. Hence,
the invocation appears to address the male gender.However, the Arabic
language has a grammatical principle that an address to the male
gender implicitly includes the female gender, in other words, the
implication of the wording is general to both genders.
For practical purposes, any dua which refers to women in a specific
way can also be inverted to refer to men. Thus, it is perfectly
permissible andacceptable for a woman to make a similar dua about her
husband, "O Allah I ask you for the good in him and the good with
which you have created him, and I seek refuge in you from the evil in
him and the evil with which you havecreated him."
This hadith is not saying that only women are evil. Unlike early
Christianity for example, Islam never taught that women were the root
of all evil and the cause of man's fall from Paradise.
This hadith is certainly not meant as an insult. All human beings,
with the exception of the Prophets, peace be upon them, are
susceptible to the whisperings of the Devil and have the capacity for
evil. Both husband and wife woulddo well to follow this Sunna and pray
for the good in each other and seek Allah's refuge from each other's
evil.
Another thing to consider is the style of the language. Seeking refuge
from the woman's evil does not mean that she is evil. Instead, this
invocation refers to her possibility for evil. This possibility
resides in both men and women.
Allah Most High employs this style of language in the Qur'an when He
says,"Say: I seek refuge with the Lord of the Dawn, from the evil of
that which He created... [Al-Falaq, 113:1-2]
This is a prayer that Muslims are encouraged to recite everyday,
especially before going to sleep. We ask Allah to indeed protect us
from the evil of created things. This is hardly limited to one gender!
Another famous supplication from the Qur'an is the following:
"And those who, when they are reminded of therevelations of their
Lord, fall not deaf and blind thereat. And those who pray, "Our Lord!
Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be thecomfort of our eyes,
and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." [Al-Furqan, 25:73-74]
Supplicating Allah Most High for pious spouses and offspring, as well
as seeking His protection from the harm of impious spouses and
offspring has a basis in both the Qur'an and Sunna.
By all means, if it makes you more comfortable, go ahead and recite a
dua that is inclusive of both genders.
However, it is crucial to realize that the Prophet, peace be upon him,
uttered this hadith in language the people of his time understood and
could relate to. In our context, there is nothing wrong with making
this dua more inclusive, while remaining loyal to the spirit of the
Sunna ofthe Beloved, may Allah bless him and grant him
peace._______________________________________________It's actually a
very nice answer that goes on to tell husbands not to pushtheir new
wives to have sex, and instead get to know them and make them feel at
ease. There'snothing here to suggest that women are evil.
I pray this was helpful
And Allah knows best.