busy making preparations to make this a special time for our families.
Ramadan is a time for voluntary acts of worship, sharing with those
who are less fortunate, and reflecting on the message that Allaah has
given to us.
Overall, the goal of this month is to develop ourselves spiritually
and to become closer to Allaah. These effects are then to be carried
with us throughout the remainder of the year. This is the beauty of
Ramadan; a gift and blessing from Allaah.
One issue that is commonly discussed is concern about the amount of
time that sisters are required to spend during this month in cooking
and related preparations. Much of the emphasis is often placed upon
food and breaking of the fast. Undoubtedly, this was not meantto be
the focus of such a spiritualtime, but it has evolved into a
sophisticated system in some cultures. The following questionsthen
arise: "If a woman is spending so much time on this aspect of the
blessed month, how much time does this leave for more important acts
of worship such as prayer and reading Quran?", "How can a woman
balance her desire to please her family and guests and her wish to
perform more acts ofworship?"
We posed these questions and related ones to sisters. We have
presented some of their responses below which you should find
enlightening. It is important to emphasize that sharing food with
others is highly rewarded in
Islam, particularly if the recipients are the poor and needy.
This is something that is stronglyencouraged notonly during Ramadan,
but throughout the year. What may be helpful to consider is that there
are many types of foods and various methods of preparation that do not
require a great deal of time and effort, but that can be enjoyed just
as much as more elaborate dishes. This element itself can be very
beneficial for the balancing act.
A woman should always be aware of how her scale is being affected by
the various acts that she engages in. If worship side is weak, it may
be time to rearrange priorities. Our focus should be on Allaah and the
beautiful
Scripture that He, Almighty, sent during this glorious month. May
Allaah help each of us to experience a rewarding and joyful Ramadan.
Comments from Sisters
*.'Aa'ishah, a mother of three teenagers. Her husband has extensive
social relationships and usually has to invite many people to eat at
their house during Ramadan. ]Los Angels, California[
"My children and husband are always helpful and understanding. I am
too. Even though cooking is tiring to me, I am always willing to do it
)I cooka large variety of foods and I never get any outside help(, and
many times I have cooked for a very large number of guests; but I
understand my
husband's position in the community and I support him in doing what he
has to do. What ismore important for me is that I look for Allaah's
reward by providing Iftaar for fasting people and having Muslims as
guests in my house. This is my biggest motivation in doing this. There
are more rewards in it than many can imagine.
The only thing I ask from my husband is that we plan these"events"
ahead of time. In Ramadan, I also always help my sons invite some of
their friends over to have Iftaar with us. Whenwe have no guests, I
cook
anything I want, and whether it is just one type of food or no food at
all )that is we go out to eat at a restaurant(. They are all happy and
supportive of the decision. As for having enough time and energy to
read Quran and perform more prayers, I think it all comes down to
management of time and settingof priorities. And yes, I do as much of
them as I want in
Ramadan."
*.Um Muhammad, married and the mother of two children.]Jersey City, New Jersey[
"I rarely cook Iftaar in Ramadan. We take the opportunity of the month
to be in the masaajid)mosques( as much as we can. There are more than
fifteen mosques around us whichprovide daily or weekend Iftaar, so we
go to them to meet the Muslims and eat with them. Sometimes the food
is free but most of the time we pay for it, and in others it is a
potluck dinner. I may have to cook once or twice for guests at our
home. This way we get to spend more time in the masjid )mosque( and
around the Muslims, and I get all the time to do more worship."
*.Zahirah, lives with three young daughters, her husband and his old
parents. ]New York, New York[
"When it comes to cooking, I have to work very hard every Ramadan
because I have to prepare different types of meals for my in-laws and
at specific times - dayand night. I get very tired and I do not, may
Allaah
forgive me, look forward to it. However, I enjoy cooking for the masjid
because some of those who eat there do not have the opportunity to eat
"Ramadan food" and for the few occasions when we invite some single
Muslims to have Iftaar with us. I usually have very little time to do
anything other than cooking in Ramadan."
*.Khadijah, a mother of two children, one of whom is third-grade
homeschooler. ]Atlanta, Georgia[
"I love to cook in Ramadan even though I am not a good cook, but I try
my best especially when we go to the masjid or when we are inviting
others over. Many likemy sweet dishes so I tend to do more of that and
I
sometimes send them as gifts to our neighbors and friends. I do make
time for Quran and prayer and helping with the Ramadan programs in our
masjid. It is a tough schedule and I get tired especially towards the
end of themonth, but I like it very much and my husband and the
Muslimsaround me appreciate what I do. I have no complaints."
*.Layla, married and the mother of three young children.
]Minneapolis, MN[
"I feel that my husband expects us to have a full, heavy meal every
night during Ramadan )i.e., salad, meat, starch, vegetable and
desert(, whereas during the rest of the year we may have a meal like
that two or three timesa week )the rest of the week it's O.K. to have
lighter meals like soup and salad, sandwiches, or omelets(. I don't
find it difficult to cook during Ramadan from a temptation standpoint
but I find that planning for these big mealsis a burden. I think that
these large meals are customary duringRamadan because we tend to
entertain more during this month. But, I don't think these large meals
should be expected when not entertaining and it is actually an
unhealthy way to eat)to gorge ourselves after sunset before we go to
sleep(. Also, the clean up from these meals is more extensive and will
take away time from prayer, reading Quran, and being with family
members. Feeling tired from fasting and taking care of small children
can add to the challengeduring this month."
We would like to thank all of the sisters for their comments and insight.
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