Social Problems - He said to his fiancée: If you conceal anything from me, you will be haraam to me after marriage.

My fiancé knows that I was in a relationship with someone else before
I met him, and the other person is his friend. There took place
between me and this person some things which did not go as far as
major immorality, but they are haraam. Now I have repented and I ask
Allaah to forgive me.
The problem is that my fiancé is not sure about what happened in the
past with his friend, and he has heard some of hisfriends say bad
things about me and that this friend has told them what took place
between us. My fiancé made me swear to him that I would tell him
everything that happened and he himself swore that I would be haraam
to himafter marriage if I concealed anything fromhim or told a lie. I
swore with the Mushaf in my hand and inside the mosque and upon the
Qur'aan that I would be haraam to him if I concealed anything fromhim,
but in fact I did conceal what happened to me in the past. Please note
that I am going to get married soon, if Allaah wills, and I am afraid.
Am I sinning withregard to him, knowing that he always tells me that
he will never forgive me and will never be pleased with me before
Allaah if I conceal anything from him. What should I do, may Allaah
reward you with good?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The fiancé or husband has no right to ask abouthis wife's past. It is
sufficient for him that she is righteous and is known for good at the
time of marrying her, and there is nothing wrong with her religious
commitment orchastity. As to whether she did anything haraamin the
past, but then repented from it and became righteous, it is wrong to
ask her about that and make her choose between telling lies or getting
divorced, or make her tell her secrets and disclose that which Allaah
had concealed for her, then if she tells him the truth, that opens the
door to doubt and suspicion.
What some people call for, of each spouse being frank with the other
and telling them of things in the past thatAllaah has concealed, is
wrong and ignorant. Rather they should be pleased that Allaah has
concealed it and they should praise Allaah for it.
Secondly:
A wife or fiancée is not obliged to tell us what happened in the past
that Allaah has concealed. Rather she must conceal herself, because
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: "Avoid
this filth that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever does any such thing,
then let him conceal it with the concealment of Allaah." (Narrated by
al-Bayhaqi; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah
al-Saheehah, no. 663).
And Muslim (2590) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased
with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Allaah does not conceal a person in this world but Allaah will
conceal him on the Day of Resurrection."
If her husband or fiancé persists in asking, then she may use a double
entendre, such as saying:Nothing happened between me and that man --
meaning that nothing happened todayor yesterday, because she is
enjoined to conceal it and there is no interest to be served in
telling him. So it is prescribed for her to usea double entrendre, and
in fact some scholars said that it is permissibleto tell a lie in that
case. For more details on that please see the answer toquestion number
83093 .
Based on that, we hope that there will be no sin on you because of the
liethat you told, although itwould have been better to use a double
entendre.
Thirdly:
If a man says to his fiancée: You will be haraam to me after the
wedding if you concealed anything fromme, then she conceals something
from him, shewill not be divorced and no zihaar will take
place,because divorce and zihaar can only take place after marriage,
and the fiancé is saying this before the marriage contract has taken
place.So no divorce or zihaar takes place.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It should
be noted that divorce can only take place after marriage, because it
is the dissolution of the marriage bond. So before marriage there is
no divorce. Even if a mansays to a woman: If I marry you, then you are
divorced, then he marries her, she is not divorced. Or if a man's wife
said to him: I heard that you want to take a second wife and I do
notagree to that, and she put pressure on him, andhe said to her: Will
you be pleased if I say that if I marry a woman, she is divorced? And
she said: I am pleased with that, then he said it and did not get
married, and if he did get married she would not be divorced, because
that took place before the marriage. Endquote from al-Sharh al-Mumti'
(13/7).
We ask Allaah to accept your repentance and to set your affairs straight.
And Allaah knows best.

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