Islamic Article - Islam and stability of the family - I

Out of all the previous divine religions, none has given due
importance to the family as Islamdid. In doing so, Islam has
legislated procedures and means which maintain security and preserve
stability within the family. It has also prescribed some measures
which prevent the family from collapse and destruction. We --
particularly in the present time where immorality abounds and
temptations are overwhelming -- have to return to the endless spring
of the Quran, theSunnah(Prophetic tradition) as well as the sayings of
the righteous predecessors which are guiding beacons for us along our
road to maintain family stability.
Islam has initiated several measures to maintain the stability of the
family as well the whole Muslim community. In thisarticle, I will
discuss only two measures that Allaah The Almighty has legislated to
avoid the disintegration of the family structure and to maintain the
unity of the Muslim community and steadfastness in the face of the
huge challenges that the entire MuslimUmmah(nation) is facing. Such
challenges are directed to the Muslim family in particular which has
become a clear target for the schemes of Westernization and corruption
led by the enemies of Islam from among the Jews and others.
1- Restricting the gates to divorceto maintain marital life and
safeguard the community:
To avoid making divorce the first decision in case of dissention
anddispute, Islam stated stages for reconciliation between the
spouses, including:
1-The policy of reconciliation between the disputing
spouses.Reconciliation is recommended even before dissention worsens
and its evil consequences emerge. The arbitrators are chosen from the
spouses' families because they are more capable of reconciling them
and of knowing the details. The arbitrators should truly seek
reconciliation and maintenance of the marital life, and as such Allaah
will help them to achieve this. Allaah The Exalted Says (what
means):{And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator
from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire
reconciliation, Allaah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allaah is
ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].}[Quran 4: 35]
2-Islam directed the spouses to exert their best efforts in
reconciliation when dissention and dispute occur among them. Allaah
The Exalted Says (what means):{And if a woman fears from her husband
contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of
settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present
in[human] souls is stinginess.}[Quran 4: 128] Commenting on the last
verse, At-Tabarisaid,"There is a consensus that this is applicable
when the wife is unattractive or very old and feels that her husband
no longer desires her, treats her with contempt or inclines to other
women. In such a case, she can waive some of her rights in
ordertoappeasehim and maintain her marital life."
3-Islam warns against following whims and desires as well as
surrendering to emotions, which overwhelm and change. A husband may
feel aversion towards his wife, but if he is patient, this feeling
will soon change. Therefore, it is not acceptable that a husband
divorces his wife because of these temporary feelings of aversion.
Allaah The Exalted Says (what means):{And live with them in kindness.
For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislikea thing and Allaah makes
therein much good.}[Quran 4: 18]
In aHadeeth(narration), the Prophet,, said:"No believing man should
hate his believing wife. If he dislikesone of hercharacteristics, he
would surely like another."[Muslim]
This means that a husband could hate one of his wife's characteristics
while he is heedless of her other good ones. Consequently, he has to
think deliberately before divorce as he may prefer keeping her and his
feeling of dislike could change.
It was narrated thata man consulted 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaababout
divorcing his wife and 'Umarsaid to him,[Fi Thilaal Al-Quran: Sayyid
Qutb]"Do not doso.""I do not love her,"the man argued. 'Umarsaid,"Are
families built only on love? Whereis, then, mutual care and the
maintenance of rights and duties?"
The statement of 'Umarindicates how Islam is keen to maintain the
solemn marital contract as Allaah The Almighty describes it in the
Quran Saying (what means):{And they have taken from you a solemn
covenant}.[Quran 4: 21] Even if love is missing in marital life, there
is still scope for cooperation, solidarity and the fear of blame for
divorce which distresses the wife, the children and the husband
himself in manycases.