Faaris entered the headmaster's room hurriedly and without seeking
permission, for the matter was serious and needed to be addressed
urgently. He cried at the top of his voice, "Sir! Sir! I have to tell
you about something of great importance."
The headmaster sat straight in his chair and paid great attention to
Faaris, put his hand on his shoulder and said to him, "Calm down! Calm
down, my son! What happened? Lower your voice and speak quietly."
The child said, "I have to tell you, headmaster, about something
dangerous that takes place in our class."
"What is happening, son?" the headmaster asked interestedly.
"I have seen some children in the class ridiculing the Mathematics
teacher," the child said, "and sticking clips on his clothes
containing some humorous words while he did not notice. After that
they joke with each other, laugh at and ridicule my teacher whom I
love so much, and do not like anyone to ridicule. I warned them more
than once that I would tell the headmaster, but they mocked my words
and gave no importance to it."
"May Allaah reward you, Faaris, for telling me about that," the
headmaster said, "and I appreciate your protective zeal for your
teacher, and promise youthat I will take suitable measures."
"May Allaah reward you, sir," the child said.
In the class
"Beware, Maajid," Ad-ham said.
"What is it, Ad-ham?" Maajid asked.
"Get into the classroom quickly and take your seat," Ad-ham said, "for
the headmaster is inspecting the classes of the school."
Suddenly, the headmaster entered the class where Maajid and Ad-ham
were mocking the Mathematics teacher. The headmaster stood in front of
all the pupils.
He said, "As-salaamu 'alaykum."
"Wa 'alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh," all the pupils
replied together.
"How are your studies progressing? The time of the exams is very
near," the headmaster said.
"Fine, sir," they all repliedtogether.
"I am sure that only thosestudents who make a great deal of effort
will succeed in the end and Allaah The Almighty will grant them
excellence," the headmaster said.
He added,
"No doubt, whoever has high ambitions should work day and night. But
those who engage in playing and mocking teachers and particularly the
Mathematics teacher will suffer great loss and failure. It is enough
disgrace to ridicule one's teacher and role model, which is also
enough reason for failure. I have been informed that manyboys do so.
But I will not mention their names in order not to expose themto
scandal. But I ask them to return to the right path lest Allaah The
Almighty become angry with them. Allaah The Almighty Says (what
means): } O you who havebelieved, let not a peopleridicule [another]
people;perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule
[other] women; perhaps they may be better than them.And do not insult
one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames.
Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever
does not repent- then it is those who are the wrongdoers. { [Quran
49:11]
The headmaster concluded his speech with this Noble Verse. Then he
turned his back to the pupils after he greeting them and left.
Both Ad-ham and Maajid were confounded, and none of them dared to
speak, as if they were mute. But after the lesson, both Maajid and
Ad-ham agreed to go to the Mathematics teacher to apologize to him,
and go to the headmaster to thank him for his valuable advice.
An intelligent educator always uses hints rather than explicit condemnation.
Dear educator,
The headmaster was capable of entering the class, catching hold of a
stick and beating all the pupils, or at least both Maajid and Ad-ham,
and forcing them to apologize to the Mathematics teacher while the
other pupils watched. An intelligent educator favors hinting to
explicit condemnation,dialogue to clashing, anddiscussion to shouting.
This is one of the means of successful education that each educator
should choose in raising his children.
Parents should admonish their children when they act improperly. But
the problem lies in the fact that during the process of admonishment,
we ignore the child's identity, and think that because of the relation
ofkinship and his being under our care (as parents), he should listen
and comply with all that we say to him. This is wrong. A child has
overflowing emotions and an immature mentality. Therefore, we have to
reduce the direct instruction and severe criticism as much as
possible. No parent wants to destroy his child's self-esteem for
thesake of rectifying him. Indirect hinting and advice always lead to
the desired result, and are more palatable to the child, whereas
continuous disparagement deprives him of his self-confidence.
You should learn, dear educator, that if you understand the psychology
of your child well, particularly when he approaches the stage of
adolescence, you would not resort to condemnation.
"What is the matter with some people who say such and such things?"
That was the same method used by the Prophet, with his Companions .
With thismethod, the Prophet, , saved the face of those who made
mistakes and made them correct their mistakes without disgracing them
before the people.
The effectiveness of hinting
When the headmaster used this method of hinting with the children,he
saved the child's honor and did not humiliate him before others lest
this would result in future psychological complexes.
Moreover, this method boosts mutual confidenceand coherence between
the headmaster and the children; and also boosts love, for the child
always loves reassurance and comfort when his mistake is treated by
his teacher and educator without putting shame on him before the
people. This method will also correct the educational mistakes of
other children who were not intended by the hinting.
When an educator defames a child at the first slip and humiliates him
before his fellows in the name of "guidance", or insults him with foul
words, perhaps before his friends with the goal of rectifying his
behaviorand preventing him frommaking any further mistakes, this,
indeed, establishes in the child's heart rebellion and feelings of
inferiority.
To clarify the importance of subtlety in changing the child's
behavior, the author of The Sound Disposition says that when we ask
some fathers about what they do when they are overwhelmed by anger,
they usually say that they shout at or insult their children. Some say
that they beat a little, and throw or kick things. However, even this
response only curbs the behavioral problem temporarily. Therefore,
what do their children learn? They learn how to shout, beat, throw and
kick things when annoyed.
The method of hinting is highly effective and indicates the educator's
intelligence, forbearance and patience.
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