created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed
from both of themmany men and women. And fear Allaah, through whom you
ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allaah is ever, over you,
anObserver.} [Quran 4:1]
Islam encourages marriage and clarifies the wisdom behind it and its
rulings, benefits, and virtues. In this article, we will mention some
tips for men and women who are about to get married. These tips will
serve as reminders for those who already know them and enlightenment
for the ones who are ignorant of them.
The wife's rights over her husband:
Let us take a look at a bright image from the house of the Prophet :
Al-Aswad said, "I asked 'Aa'ishah 'What did the Prophet do at home?'
She said, 'He used to serve his family and when it was time for the
prayer, he would go out for prayer.'" [Al-Bukhaari]
• Happiness lies in the right choice:
Allaah The Almighty has made marriage one of the causes of happiness
in this life and has created in humans an instinct for marriage.
Marriage can be source of tranquility and happiness if harmony
prevails between the two spouses. Allaah The Almightyhas bestowed on
people the blessing of marriage. The Almighty Says (what means):
{Andof His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that
you may find tranquility in them; and He laced between you affection
and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.}
[Quran 30:21]
It was narrated on the authority of 'Abdullaah ibn 'Amr that the
Prophet said: "The worldly life is enjoyment and the best enjoyment of
life is a righteous wife."
• Marriage is the crown of virtue:
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd said,
"Marriage is a legitimate relationship that is established bya
contract between a man and a woman with certain conditions and pillars
approved by the Sharee'ah (Islamic legislation). Because of its
importance, most jurists and scholars of Hadeeth (Prophetic narration)
gave it priority over Jihaad (struggle), since Jihaad can only
performed by men and marriage is the only way to beget children who
will grow up into men. Marriage has great value that is indispensable
for the stability and uprightness of life, thanks to its great
benefits and noble purposes…"
Allaah The Almighty highlights the greatness of marriage and refers to
it as 'the solemn covenant'. This means the covenant that is based on
the principle of keeping [one's wife and treating her] in a
[commonly]acceptable manner or releasing [her] with good treatment.
AllaahThe Almighty Says (what means): {But if you want to replace one
wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount [in
gifts], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in
injustice and manifest sin? And how could you take it while you have
gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn
covenant?} [Quran 4:20, 21]
Muslim men should know that a wife is a trust for whom they willbe
held accountable on the Day ofJudgment. The Prophet said: "Be advised
to act kindly towardswomen." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
• Exchanging presents:
Exchanging presents especially between spouses is á means of
implanting love between them. The Prophet said: "Exchange presents so
that you would love one another." [Al-Albaani]
Wife's rights over her husband:
A quote from the book 'Fifty Counsels of the Prophet to Women' :
"Marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman for the sake of
bringingup a righteous generation who worship Allaah The Almighty and
develop and populate the earth. The bases of marriage in Islam are
love, affection and putting the other partner first. For a marriage to
last, Allaah The Almighty stipulated rights for thehusband and wife
that should be fulfilled."
First: Good treatment and living in kindness
The wife is a trust that is kept in the husband's house, so he should
treat her well and speak to her kindly. Allaah The AlmightySays (what
means): {...And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them --
perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.}
[Quran 4:19] The Prophet said: "A believingman is not to hate a
believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be
pleasedwith another." [Muslim]
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said: "Be advised to act kindly
to woman, for woman was created from a rib, and the most crooked part
of therib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break
it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. Sobe
advised (to be kind) regarding women." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
The Prophet said: "The best ofyou are the best of you to their wives
and I am the best of you tomy wives." [Al-Albaani]
Second: Protecting the wife, respecting her and feeling jealousfor her:
Protective jealousy for one's wife is instinctual. Sa'd ibn 'Ubaadah
said, "If I saw a man with mywife, I would strike him (behead him)
with the blade of my sword." The Prophet said: "You, people, are
astonished at Sa'd's jealousy. By Allaah, I am more jealous [for my
wives] than he is and Allaah is more Jealous [for His slaves] than I
am. It is because of this jealousy that Allaah has made both apparent
and concealed immorality unlawful." [Al-Bukhaari]
In his book 'Rawdhat Al-Muhibbeen', Imam ibn Al-Qayyim mentioned some
kinds of jealousy that are good and others that are dispraised.
Hesaid,
"There are different types of jealousy which can be explained as
religious zeal in the first and second case and as manly zeal in the
third case:
1. Jealousy of the slave when one of the prohibitions of Allaah The
Almighty are violated
2. Jealousy of the slave that his heart would rely on anyone otherthan
Allaah The Almighty or enjoycompany of someone more than he enjoys the
company of Allaah The Exalted.
3. Jealousy regarding one's womenfolk.
The abovementioned types are jealousy that Allaah The Almighty and His
Prophet like. Any other type of jealousy is one of the plots of a
devil or a trial from Allaah The Almighty, such as the wife's jealousy
when her husband gets remarried."
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