neighborhoods and evenover the Internet. Friendsare made and kept for
a variety of reasons. Peoplemake friends with others who share common
interests, hobbies, and even vices. The final goal of a friendship is
often simply company, a desire to spend time with someone, doing
something that they bothenjoy. A Muslim ought to choose friends more
carefully and critically.
Certainly, Muslims, like everyone else, want friends who share
interests and who are fun to be with. We all enjoy having a picnic
with a friend or going out to dinner with friends, and who wouldn't
like to go to a gathering with some of their best friends? But, that
is not only what a truly Islamic friendship is all about. In fact, an
Islamic friendship is not that simple at all. In Islam, true
friendships are bound by brotherhood and sisterhood, bonds that are
stronger than typical friendships. They are bonds that exist for a
much higher reason and with a greater goal.
Muslims make friends knowing that the relationship they will ensue is
an important bond between two people who share mutualgoals. Their
friendship is one that exists primarily for the sake of Allaah the
Almighty. The love and camaraderie that is born from such a friendship
is a secondary benefit, for sure.
True love for the sake of Allaah
Love for others comes in different forms. Love between a husband and
wife is one type of these forms, all friendship is another form.
However, all forms of fondness thatany one person can have for any
other person, for the purpose of this article, will be referred toas
love.
Realistically, pure love of another person only for the sake of Allaah
is difficult. Few people can attain such a friendship, which is why
Allaah rewards such an act of faith generously. The Prophet explained,
"Allaah said: those who love one another for My glory will be upon
Minbars of light [high positions], and the Prophets and martyrs will
wish that they had the same." [At-Tirmithi]
Nevertheless, many of us, in an attempt to reach this high level of
faith, must try to make and build strong friendships that benefit us
and our Ummah. In Islam true friendship is brotherhood or sisterhood-
a bond that isstrong and enduring. In this bond, men and women can
find the sweetness of faith as the prophet said: " There are three
things that whoever attainsthem will find the sweetness of faith: if
Allaah and His Messenger are dearer to him than anyone or anything
else; if he loves a person solely for the sake of Allaah; and if he
hates to return to disbelief after Allaah has rescued him from it, as
muchas he would hate to be thrown into the Fire ." [Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim]
The rewards of loving another for Allaah's sake are consistent with
its importance. Its impact is not singular- it affects the entire
society. For entire society to exist in harmony and peace, its
constituents must be at peace. If we could each want for our friends
what we want for ourselves, the world would be a better place. This is
what Islam ensures. If there is brotherhood and unity among the
people, the society at large will be united.
The Prophet instilled a deep-rooted love in the hearts of the
companions to create a model Islamic society that all Muslims
thereafter can emulate. Prophet Muhammad tried to eliminate hatred,
jealousy and rivalry by inducing brotherhood, a sincere love and
friendship. The Islamic society is ideally built upon the foundation
of brotherhood, as the Prophet advised: "Believers are like a
structure, parts of which support one another. The believers, in their
mutual friendship, mercy and affection, are like one body; if any part
of it complains, the rest of the body will also stay awake in fever."
[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
How to love someone
Since love among the believers is a condition offaith in Islam, the
peace and harmony that is desired by all can be achieved, as each
individual strives to do good and earn reward. So, what can we do?
Howcan we be sure that our friendships are for the sake of Allaah? Our
lives are full of opportunities to increase and improve our
friendships. First, as with any undertaking, we need to make clear,
pure and sincere intentions. Pertaining to the existing friendships
that we already have, weshould make a conscious effort to love our
friends for the sake of Allaah. When we make friends inthe future, we
should also make conscious intentions that those new friendships will
be for the sake of Allaah.
After a pure intention, we need sincere actions. The Prophet
recommended a very simple but significant way to help Muslims gain
brotherhood saying: "I swear y the One in Whose hands my soul is, you
will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe
until you loveone another. Shall I not tell you of something that if
you do it, you will love one another? Spreadsalaam [greeting one
another saying: As-Salaam Alaykum] amongst yourselves." [Muslim]
Greeting each other frequently and lovingly isthe first step to
achievingthe ideal brotherhood.
It would seem that greeting another with"As-Salaam Alaykum" is an easy
action. However, given the nature of men and women and our
vulnerability to changingemotions, sometimes these simple words are
hard to utter. In other words, there are times when even this simple
greeting is hard to say to someone with whom we might have argued. The
beauty of Islam is that it is realistic. So, it is allowed for us to
take time to "cool off," but weare not allowed to cut offfriendships
based on rashand unreasonable emotions. The Prophet said, "It is not
permissible for a Muslim to be abandon from his brother for more than
three days,both of them turning away from one another when they meet.
The better of them is the one who is first to greet the other."
[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
These teachings encourage Muslims to improve themselves, thereby
improving their society. "Do not break off ties with one another, do
not turn away from one another, do not hate one another, and do not
envy one another. Be O slaves of Allaah brothers." [Al-Bukhaari]
The Prophet's memory and words live in our hearts and minds. Heeding
his advice, we should realize that we are supposed to be brothers or
sisters in Islam because we share acommon religion and belief. We are
to be brothers and sisters in our hearts because we share a common
goal-Allaah's pleasure.
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