Saturday, February 2, 2013

Muslim women in married life

Relationships based on worldly values can degenerate into baseness, as
often happens in marriage. When people's love and respect is based on
thesevalues, they can lose these feelings quickly when circumstances
change. This is almost inevitable when love, respect, and loyalty
depend on one's beauty,wealth, health, job, or status, for when these
temporary and superficial characteristics disappear, so will the other
person's love. Someone who follows such criteria will find no reason
to continue to love and honor his or her spouse when the basis for
those values is lost.
Belief, fear and respect of Allah, and decency of character are what
makelove, respect, and loyaltyendure. Someone who loves his or her
spouse for their belief and character will, in married life, be
respectful, loyal, and decent. Losing one's youth, health, or beauty
will not affect the love and consideration among spouses for each
other, and neither will losing one's wealth or social status. They
will not cause trouble or discontent to the other person because of
their firm belief and fear and respect of Allah, whatever the
circumstances. Believers will always be gentle and compassionate, as
well as fair and tolerant, for they will consider this to be a
responsibility entrusted to them by Allah. Islamic morality has a very
high opinion of women and seeks to prevent them from suffering any
difficulties or hardships. Thus, believing men safeguard the rights of
women and are most considerate toward them.
So close is the marital relationship that the Qur'an says of the
spouses: "They are clothing for you, and you for them" (Surat
al-Baqara: 187). In this verse, Allah reminds people that each spouse
has equal responsibilities. The word "clothing" stands for the
responsibility of guarding and protectingone another and also suggests
that men and women have complementary qualities.
Another verse states the importance of love and compassion in
marriage: "Among His Signs is that He created spouses for you of your
own kind, sothat you might find tranquillity in them. And He has
placed affection and compassion between you. There are certainly Signs
in that for people who reflect" (Surat ar-Rum: 21). Believers consider
their spouses to be gifts that Allah has given into theircare, and
therefore value one another greatly. They show affection and
compassion when their spouse makes a mistake or falls short in some
way, and know that behaving according to the Qur'an will help them
overcome all difficulties and solve their problems. As a result,
marriage helps both spouses find contentment and peace.
With the phrase "you have been intimate withone another" (Surat
an-Nisa': 21), Allah proclaims the closeness and intimacy of married
life. The secret of this closeness, intimacy, and valuing of each
other is their intention to create an everlasting togetherness that
will extend into the Hereafter. True loyalty and love requires this
attitude. Since their love is neither selfish nor temporary, but
intendedto be everlasting, they are completely loyal, close, honest,
and intimate with one another.
Qur'an's morality forms the basis for a marital relationship based on
togetherness, one in which both parties fear and respect Allah and
follow His morality. In such a relationship, eachperson's loyalty,
faithfulness, love, sincerity, tolerance, and modesty complement and
support the other person. Such a marriage is stable and long-lasting.
The marriages of people without these qualities, on the other hand,
are short-lived.
Islam considers marriageto be a comfort for women, for in it she
experiences love, respect, loyalty, and faithfulness in the best
possible way. She is always respected, valued, and honored. The
absence of any pride, superiority complex, and lies enables her to
find peace and contentment.
Being Protective of Women
By proclaiming "We senddown in the Qur'an that which is a healing and
a mercy to the believers," (Surat al-Isra': 82) Allah states that
Islamic morality will always direct people toward thegood and that the
Qur'an's verses are a mercy for them. These verses, revealed to create
contentment and justice among people, guarantee the rights of women in
both their social and family lives. And, the verse "We bringyou the
truth and the best of explanations" (Surat al-Furqan: 33) makes clear
the fact that the Qur'an contains all ofthe knowledge needed to find
the value, love, and respect that they deserve in every aspect of
their lives.
This is a great mercy, comfort, and gift from Allah for women as well.
When people behave according to the Qur'an'smorals, all disputes over
the role and place of women in society, as well as the controversy
surrounding them in unbelieving societies, will certainly come to an
end.
We will now explore some of the verses that guard women's social
rights and reveal their importance and value in Islam's moral system.
All true and lasting solutions to women's problems are found in the
Qur'an. Islam, which was revealed to guide humanity to salvation,
genuinely values women. Many verses protect women and their rights,
for the Qur'an eliminated the prevalent misguided stereotypes of women
and gave them a respectable position in society. Our Lord teachesthat
superiority in His presence is based not ongender, but rather on one's
fear and respect ofAllah, faith, good character, devotion, and
dedication to Him.
Allah has revealed the steps that women need to take to ensure their
protection and respect within society, and for them to find the love
and dignity that they deserve. All of these measures benefit women and
seek to prevent damage to their interests or any form of oppression
and unnecessary stress.
Divorcing Women with Their Consent
The believers' fear and respect of Allah, as well as their belief,
cause them to obey their conscience and the Qur'an's values at every
moment. But for unbelievers, their base instincts and Satan are their
guiding influences.Thus, they seek to satisfytheir self-interest and
their ego instead of acting fairly and nicely. This scenario is often
seen when relationships end, such as a marriage based upon financial
self-interest.
For these people, divorce means the end of all bonds based on mutual
interest, for when these interests no longer exist, there is no longer
any reason for them to value or respect the other party. As a result,
they see no reason to do anything good for that person, and so move to
protect their own interests regardless of the other person's
situation.
Believers display a totally different type of behavior in such
circumstances, for their only goal in life is to winAllah's good
pleasure. Fully aware that following the whims of their self-interest
or ego displeases Him, they adhere to the Qur'an's morality and their
conscience. Therefore, even in the case of divorce, they treat each
other well and with justice.
Allah commands men to divorce their wives in the best possible way:
"When you divorce women and they are near the end of their waiting
period, then either retain them with correctness and courtesyor
release them with correctness and courtesy" (Surat al-Baqara: 231).
Pursuing only Allah's good pleasure, they treat their ex-wives
withtolerance, compassion, politeness, respect, and thoughtfulness,
thereby continuing their former loving and respectful manner toward
each other. Allah reveals the male believers' correct behavior in such
circumstances:
O you who believe! When you marry believing women and then divorce
them before you have touched them, there is no waiting period for you
to calculate for them, so give them a giftand let them go with
kindness. (Surat al-Ahzab: 49)

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