respect her feelings, and show her kindness and consideration. The
husband should not show the wife any aversion or subject her to
suspense or uncertainty. These guiding principles are established from
the Quran and Sunnah and when implemented,bring about a great deal of
peace and harmony in marriage.
Wife as a Source of Peace
Allah says in the Noble Quran "And among His signs is that He created
for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find contentment in
them, and He has instilled between you affection and mercy. Verily, in
that are indeed signs for people who reflect" . (Quran 30:21)
For a wife to become a source ofpeace and contentment she has to be in
a peaceful relationship. Therefore the treatment of the husband to the
wife is of great significance in realizing this purpose.
A husband's treatment towards his wife should reflect a Muslim's good
character, which in turn is a reflection of the man's faith. In this
regard the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) said "The best among
you are those who are best to their family and I am the best to my
family. "
(Tirmizi, ibn Majah)
Kind treatment generates true and deep seated love for the husband in
the wife's heart. The wife in turn becomes eager and enthusiastic to
serve her husband and accords him the honour and respect he deserves.
The Wife – A Treasure without Equal
For a Muslim, a good wife is the best treasure a man can possess,
after belief in Allah and following His commands, she is considered
the key to happiness.According to a Hadith, the Prophet (Sallallaahu
Alaihi Wasalaam) said to `Umar ( Radhiyallahu Anhu) , "Shall I tell
you the best a man can treasure? It is a good wife. If he looks at
her, she gives him pleasure; if he orders her, she obeys; and if he is
away from her, she remains faithful to him". (Abu Dawood)
The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) also said, "Whoever is
granted a good wife, he is helped to practice half his faith, let him
obey Allah in the second half". (Mishkaat)
The potential to become a source of true pleasure is vested in every
wife. It is the responsibility of the husband to unlock this potential
and utilize it for the benefit of his own life and that of his family.
Like any treasure or wealth that one possesses it must be lookedafter,
kept safely and constantly nurtured for it to maintain its value. This
principle shall to a greater extent apply to the wife who is regarded
as the treasure of all treasures. Any form of misuse, abuse and
maltreatment of this treasure will lead to diminishing the good that
this treasure delivers and shall become a source of sinand
accountability to Allah Ta'ala.
Kindness and More Kindness…
Allah Ta'ala says "…And live with them (your wives) in kindness…" (Quran 4:19)
A Muslim wife occupies a special position in society, and Islam
considers her fulfillment of matrimonial duties as a form of jihad
(striving for the sake of Allah). Without physically engaging in the
battlefield, a wife is given the opportunity to earn the reward of
striving for the cause of Allah Ta'ala.
By living with her in kindness, fulfilling her needs and giving her
support, the husband becomes instrumental in her achieving this noble
reward. Thehusband by virtue of his kindness earns the happiness of
his family and in turn draws closer to Allah Ta'ala. By adopting the
correct approach surely the husband can earn the status of being the
best among people for his kindness towards his wife.
The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) said, "Verily Allah is Most
Kind, and He loves kindnessin all affairs" . (Bukhari & Muslim)
The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) also said, "Kindness is not
found in anything, but it adds beauty to it and if it is withdrawn
(from it) it defects it" . (Muslim)
Garments Unto Each other
Allah says: "They are garments for you and you are garments unto them"
(Quran 2:187)
The husband and wife are likened to garments unto each other. They
guard each other's respect, honour and dignity. They do not divulge
their shortcomings and imperfectionsto others. The husband should be
cautious and particular in thisregard and not do or say things that
would hurt the wife's feelings. There is much reward in the
concealment of a person'sshortcomings, more so with regards to the
wife.
Overall Good Treatment
Our Creator knows well that human beings have certain weaknesses and
deficiencies andare prone to err. Therefore Allah Ta'ala implores the
husband by saying, "…communicate with them (wives) in kindness, for if
you dislike them (for some deficiency) then perhaps you may dislike (a
trait) wherein Allah has placed in it much good." (Quran 4:19)
It is the collective right of the wife to be treated well in all
aspects of daily life. The husbandshould interact with her in a
well-mannered way with a flexible attitude, sweet words and a smiling
face.
The Seerah (life) of the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) is
filled with his noble character of gentleness towards his people, his
excellent conduct towards his wives, to the extent that he used to
help them with their household chores and engaged in lighthearted
activities.
The true strength of man is not measured by his physical firmness;
rather he is gauged by his strength to show character in adverse
situations.
May Allah Ta'ala grant every husband the ability to treat his wife
with kindness and compassion. Aame en
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