Dought & clear - , Can zihaar occur beforeconsummation of the marriage? What is the ruling on one who divorced his wife by zihaar if he has intercourse with his wifebefore offering expiation?.

I am a man who has been married for about two months. One week before
my wedding, oneof my female relatives tried to hurt me by saying
something about me to my wife to cause trouble for me. I heard about
this from one of my sisters and I said: "Mywife is as haraam to me as
my mother; I shall not consummate the marriage with her until after I
harm her as she tried to harm me." My sister tried to calm me down and
my brother came to me and spoke tome. Then I calmed down and forgot
about the matter until a while ago,when my wife and I were speaking
about zihaar. Please note that Iswore the oath when I was married, but
I had not yet consummated the marriage. Now I am uncertain about my
situation. I asked a shaykh from Yemen and he gave me an answer based
on the Ithna 'Ashari madhhab! He toldme that it is regarded as an oath
and expiation must be offered for it, but I am not sure about the
fatwa of the Ithna 'Ashari madhhab.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
If a man states that his wife is as haraam to him as his mother is or
another mahram womanwho is permanently forbidden to him, then he has
uttered a great evil and spoken falsehood, and he comesunder the
rulings that result from zihaar. His wife remains haraam to him until
he has fasted for two consecutive months; if he is not able to do that
because of a legitimate shar'i reason, then he must feed sixty poor
persons.
For zihaar to take place, it is not stipulated that he should have
consummated the marriage with his wife; it is sufficient for him
merely to have done the marriage contract with her for these rulings
to come into effect.
Secondly:
What appears to us to bethe case is that what yousaid comes under the
heading of conditional zihaar. Because you decided not to cause harm
to that woman, then you come under the rulings on zihaar. So you have
to repent from saying that and your wife remains haraam to you until
you have offered the expiation forzihaar.
The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked:
There was an argument between my father and my oldest brother, and my
oldest brother said something, which was: "My wife is as haraam to me
as my mother." That was in a moment of anger. My brother has done the
marriage contract with this wife of his but he has not consummated the
marriage with her and there has not been any wedding party until now.
I hope that you canadvise me.
They replied:
If what is mentioned about your brother declaring his wife to be
haraam to himself is correct, and that happened after he did the
marriage contract with his wife, then he has committed a major sin and
he has to offer expiation for zihaar before he can touch his wife,
whether he said that before consummating the marriage with her or
after. Expiation for zihaar is freeing a believing slave. If that is
not possible, then he must fast for two consecutive months. If he is
not able to do that, then he should feed sixtypoor persons, giving
thirty saa's of wheat, half a saa' for each poor person.
Shaykh Ibraaheem ibn Muhammad Aal ash-Shaykh; Shaykh 'Abdar-Razzaaq
'Afeefi; Shaykh 'Abdullah ibn Ghadyaan; Shaykh 'Abdullah ibn Munayyi'
End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Da'imah, 20/277
If you had consummatedthe marriage with your wife – as appears to be
the case – then you haveto stop being intimate with her immediately;
it is not permissible for you to continue being intimate with her
beforeyou have offered expiation for zihaar.
The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
With regard to what youhave done of intercourse before offering
expiation as a result of ignorance before starting to fast, you do not
owe any penalty for that because you had the excuse of ignorance. But
now you must avoid having intercourse until you have completed the
fasting.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez Aal ash-Shaykh, Shaykh 'Abdullah ibn Ghadyaan.
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh BakrAbu Zayd
End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah, 20/322
Thirdly:
It is not permissible for aMuslim to follow the Shi'i (Ithna 'Ashari)
madhhab with regard tobasic issues or minor matters, or to be happy if
they are in agreement with Ahl as-Sunnah (concerning some issue),just
as it does not matterif they differ from us. It is not permissible
for you to consult one who will advise you in accordance with their
madhhab or give you a fatwa based on their opinions.