Correct Yourself First Before Asking Others

PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT RAMPANT EVIL PRACTICES, degradation of
society, onslaught of vulgarity and obscenity etc. This is generally
followed by sermons on righteous path that has been neglected for a
long time. In brief it has become our national characteristic to find
faults without looking for their remedies in right earnest.
What is unfortunate and disconcerting is the perception and treatment
of the problem. Every one joins in and contributes his/her bit by
making one remark or the other on the social ills and the drift from
the religious practices. In doing so, they place all the blame on
others, absolving themselves completely. They totally forget and
ignore the fact that they are as much part of the society as others,
whom they are blaming. People indulge in this sort of discussion for
the sake ofdiscussion and criticize others for the sake of criticism.
They have little or no desire to improve the situation or bringing
change in the decaying social order. They do not have a clue of the
correcttrack or the righteous path. Neither they try to analyze the
situation nor look for the causes whichhave been instrumental for the
drift to the present day degradation.
So, what is really needed? To begin with an honest, sincere and
objective analysis of the present situation is required and then an
equally honest, sincere, and pragmatic solution isto be found to
correct the situation. Unless there is a strong will and commitment to
bring about a material change, there is little hope that we could come
out of thepresent predicament by sheer desire. No amount of sermons or
criticism for the sake of criticism can bring about any improvement in
the present situation. Hence, as the very first step we should make it
a habit never to participate in the discussions which arepurposeless
and devoid of actions and aim at criticizing others.
For analyzing the situation pragmatically, itis easy to recognize that
society is made of individuals and we are a part of it. As an
individual when we are apart of the society we areto be blamed as much
forthe degradation as anybody else, because responsibility of ills
rest on our shoulders as much. So, why not look at our own actions
instead of finding faults with others – Search the Self. It is a lot
easier to correct ourselves than to correct others. Now, at this stage
the Devil (Satan) is bound to come in the way and show hundred and one
ways to absolve oneself and batter the society. For instance, it can
be argued:
How can it help the society when only one individual mends his ways
and the rest do not change?
How can one individual correct himself in a miasmal environment?
An individual by himself as a mentor or reformer would be an outcast
and be jeered at.
An individual is likely to lose the worldly benefits if one adopts the
righteous path all by oneself.
So, the easy way out is tostay in the main stream and keep doing as
othersare doing. It definitely requires a lot of courage and
resilience to combat the Devil's designs. But once the initial shyness
isovercome, the sailing should be smooth and calm. When one could
bolster enough courage and resilience to act and act single handedly;
then is the time for soul searching and realize that what one is doing
should not be done and what one is not doing that should be done.
Thank God people generally are not in that state of mind where
theycould be naive and ignorant about the dos and don'ts. Because when
they grumble about the degradation ofsociety they surely know what
should be done andwhat not.
Therefore, the bottom line message is; correct yourself first. It is
obviousone can not correct himself completely overnight. So,
priorities have to be set and then set the ball rolling. For instance,
one may not be in the habit of offering prayers (Salah), keeping fast
(Sawm), reciting / reading Qur'an, giving obligatory charity, (Zakah),
obeying parents etc. On the other hand one might have been in the
habit of drinking, gambling, womanizing, cheating, lying, backbiting
etc. (Only a few well known dos and don'ts have been listed for
reference purpose). In such a situation one should make one's own
selection of things and lay down his priorities i.e. how to go about
leaving the don'ts and adopting the dos. One must make a beginning, no
matter how insignificant and small, but it must be with a will and
conviction so that one sticks to it. Then gradually but firmly one
should leave the don'ts and adopt the dos one byone. As one will
progress on the righteous path, one will feel the help from Allah
(swt), as He has promised in Qur'an:
وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا
"As for those who strive hard in Us (Our cause), We will surely guide
them to Our Paths (i.e. Allah's religion – Islamic Monotheism).
(29:69)
For the sake of example, if one does not pray at all, he should start
with one (Salah) at least which could be of his choice. If one does
not recite Qur'an, he can make a beginning by reciting only a few
versesdaily. Similarly, if one is ahabitual liar or backbiter,he
should try to cut down the frequency in such indulgence. Likewise, if
one indulges in accepting unlawful gratitude's (bribe) he should make
an effort to cut it down. When one makes a sincere and honest effort
to leave themunkirats (what is forbidden) and adopt theAl-Maruf (what
should bedone) and asks for Allah's(swt) help and mercy, He will Insha
Allah grant himthat.
When one changes and moulds one's life style in line with the precepts
of Islam , one will most certainly find oneself peaceful and
contended. But attainment of that exalted condition is both easy and
difficult. It is easy in the sense that Allah's (swt) help and
blessings will follow all along at every step if oneendeavors to tread
the righteous path with sincerity, zeal, conviction,and perseverance.
Also, itis difficult in the sense that one will achieve nothing if one
tries to change others before changing oneself. So, thekey to success
is that one should apply and adopt all the principles and precepts of
the Deen (Islam) in one's own day to day life and present oneself as a
model to begin with. Incidentally, by presenting oneself as a model of
that one desires others to follow, one would be emulating Rasulullah
(saw) as he never asked anyone to do or perform somethingwhich he
would not be doing himself.
Having attained the position of self modeling,one can then be in a
persuasive position to influence others. It is the law of Nature
[Allah (swt)] that every human being enjoys a sphere of influence in
which his / her opinion and advice carry weight. Rasulullah (saw) has
also pointed out toward this Divine rule and said:
كلكم راعٍ وكُلُّكُمْ مَسْؤْلٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّته – مسلم,ابواب الجهاد باب
هاجاء فى الامام
Each one of you has (control) a sphere of influence and every one will
be asked about thosewho were under his influence.
It is very true. If we look around we can see that every individual
has his/her own sphere of influence, big or small, where people within
that sphere look up and listen to him/her for advice and opinion. If
this sphere is very small; it consists of at least the family members.
Therefore, if none else, a person can at least influence his own
family members and his goal (ofinfluencing) becomes easier if his
family members see him practicing the same things which he asks them
to do. So, as the saying goes, charity begins at home; make a
beginning to influence your family members first. It is not only the
softest nut to crack, but also the religions (Deeni) duty to make
one's family members tread the righteous path. For Allah (swt) has
said in Qur'an:
يَأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُواْ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا
"O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a
Fire (Hell)." (66:6)
Influencing family members to follow one's advice and preaching is
much easier than convincing others to adopt his ways. Also, this is a
Sunnah, as Rasulullah(saw) did the same whenhe received the first
message from Allah (swt) i.e. he (saw) presented it to his family
members to begin with.
It is true that initially onewould face some resistance even from the
family members also. Some will adopt the change quicker than others,
some might accept the change in piecemeal; while, still others would
threaten torevolt being the members of the same family they should all
see the wisdom and truth in the righteous path and will rally around
the leader of the family sooner or later.
When the family members come along and start following the Islamic
teachings and precepts, one has succeeded in creating a small world
for oneself and the family around him. This by itself should be a
great source of the feeling of happiness and contentment . If one
could correct oneself andmake one's family members follow the precepts
of Islam, it will undoubtedly be a great achievement; an achievement
for which one could expect the mercy and blessedness ofAllah (swt) the
Almighty.
Now, if we pause a little and look back where we had started from. It
was about the complaint and criticism of others and the society for
drifting from the righteous path and indulgence in unethical and
un-Islamic deeds and actions. In thisregard all that people aredoing
is nothing more than lip service and no constructive work. By passing
judgments in thecozy atmosphere of drawing rooms, one cannot expect to
correct and alleviate the ills of society and un-Islamic way of life.
It is a futile and inane exercise with no positive or concrete
results.
So, why waste time unnecessarily with no outcome. Instead, why not do
something positive and rewarding; also, something on whichyou have
control and canexercise restrain. If one could achieve sanity and
purity of purpose through Islamic teachings and precepts in one's own
house hold, it shall indeed be a big leap forward. Those who are
genuinely concerned with the present drift from Islamic teachings can
make a beginning within their own family.
This way a number of house holds/families will emerge acting upon the
teachings and precepts of Islam. Such house holds should act as oasis
in the desert and might help others to emulate and change their way
forthe better.
Anas (ra) says: "A person who was wearing yellowcolored clothing was
sitting by Rasulullah (saw). It was the habit of Rasulullah (saw) not
to bluntly express things he did not approve of. (Therefore he kept
silent). When that personleft, Rasulullah (saw) saidto those present,
'It would have been better if you told him not to wear yellow
clothing'." (Shamaa-il Tirmidhi