well. Therefore, telling the existence, oneness and greatness of Allah
and inviting them to liveby the Quran values, is a great blessing and
a veryimportant worship for Muslims. For this reason,believers
remember Allah, always say the bestof the words, preach themessage of
Islam, enjoin the good, and forbid thebad. However, they avoid turning
conversations into a monologue, without allowing anyone else to speak,
as they know this is not the attitude preached by Quran's moral
values.
Allah states in the following verse that everything everyone says are recorded:
" No indeed! We will write down what he says and prolong the
punishment for him. We will inherit from him thethings he is talking
about and he will come to Us all alone." (Surah Maryam, 79-80)
Therefore people are responsible for every idea and thought they have,
everything they do, just like everything they say and they will
betreated accordingly in the hereafter. For this reason the goal of a
person must be avoidingto say a word that could make him ashamed and
repent at the Sight of Allah.
Those who are aware of this important truth revealed by our Lord in
the Quran and who live by these good moral values, are no doubt the
'believers'. The believers,spend all their lives to gain the pleasure
of Allah. Everything they do, every decision they make, their actions,
behaviors are all intended to please Allah.The same thing goes for
their speeches, conversations and tone. The believers, in pursuit of
Allah's pleasure, will speak only if what he is going to say, will
make apositive contribution to the person he is talking to. They
never seek to draw attention, show offtheir knowledge when they are
speaking to someone. Sometimes they don't talk at all, andjust listen.
And sometimes it might be just a couple of sentences that is neededto
convey his opinion and chooses to benefit from the ideas of the other
person instead. However, some people use a far different style of
speech other than theone based the Quran's moral values.
The mistakes that prevent a conversation from being a wise one
The believers will only speak for Allah's pleasure, and only if
thatspeech is going to make a positive impact on the person he is
speaking to.He doesn't seek to be on the forefront. However, many
people just try to be one in the spotlight, making all the talk,
acting with an attitude of 'I know the best, so I have to talk the
most'. Some of these undesiredqualities can be listed as follows:
never listening to anyone, and interrupting others, usually talking
with a loud voice. This way these people think that they can make
others listen to them and gain their respect. They neverhesitate to
shout in attempts to show how right they are, or to deter, convince or
silence others. However Muslims talk with a reasonable level of voice.
Allah shows the Prophet Luqman (pbuh) as an example to believers. The
Prophet Luqman (pbuh) advises his son as follows:
Be moderate in your tread and lower your voice. The most hateful of
voices is the donkey's bray . (Surah Luqman, 19)
These people don't ever think of listening to others or benefitting
from their ideas. According to them, turning conversations into a
one-man conference is an achievement, makes them superior,
thereforethey never imagine that it could disturb other people.
According to them, it is not possible for others to have more
knowledge in a subject or put it in a more cleverway. This is an
attitude the believers must refrain from strictly. Our Lord states as
follows:
... We raise the rank of anyone We will. Over everyone with knowledge
is a Knower. (Surah Yusuf, 76)
People with the 'I know the best' attitude, usually try to give the
appearance of being thesmartest, wisest and most knowledgeable person
around. They don't need deep knowledge or expertise to act like that,
it could be something everyone knows, or that they only know of
superficially, or that they heard from others. In every opportunity,
they try to prove their so-called knowledge and experience to people
around them. Just like it is the case in many otherbad habits, the
source of'I know the best' attitude comes from the inner self, the
enemy of wisdom and common sense.
Listening to a speaking person courteously without interrupting is
agood attitude, which will hopefully be a means for Allah's pleasure.
Such behavior will also be an indicationof respect to the speaker.
However, people away from Quran's moral values, usually don't listen
to others, and even interrupt or talk at the same time. This is
especially common on debate programs on TVs.Even well-educated people
that are expectedto behave in a more proper way, can be very impolite
and uncivil. Such people, instead of trying to benefit from what is
explained, just strive to make others listen to them and concede
defeat.
Making long sentences during conversations is another attitude that
usually makes others uncomfortable. Usually, one is expected to
pausebetween sentences and ask the opinions of others. If another
personstarts speaking too, he also must avoid repeating the
sentences,and make long sentences. Also, changing the subject and
starting to talk about something else while someone is still trying to
say something are other actions that must be abstained from.
Believers, out of courtesy, listen to the speaker while looking inthe
face of that person, not force anyone to listen, especially if that
person is trying to leave.
Listening to a speaking person courteously without interrupting is
agood attitude, which will hopefully be a means for Allah's pleasure.
Such behavior will also be an indicationof respect to the speaker.
It is of course very natural for a specialized person to talk, in an
areathat requires expertise. However, everyone should join in so that
everyone can express their opinions and ideas.This will make sure that
everyone's opinions are learned, and it also givesthe opportunity to
have an idea about people's personality. Thoughts such as 'he knows
less than I do, so he shouldn't talk' or 'only those ones with
knowledge should talk' are wrong. Maybe someone has less technical
knowledge compared to others, but one who has been givenwisdom by
Allah, may come to realize aspects of the subject that others are
unknown to others. Or perhaps the person that knows all the details
about the subject got drowned in details and missed the big picture.
For these reasons, it is significant that every person that is
participating in a conversation, expresses their ideas so that new
ideas and points of view are known.
The Prophet Mohammad (saas) also drew attention to
unnecessaryconversations which don't include praising Allah in one
hadith:
Ibn Umar (RA) narrates:
"The Prophet Mohammad (saas) said: "Don't talk too much other than for
praising Allah. Because talking too much other than talking about
Allah, will make the heart gloomy (hard). Know that, one that is
farthest from Allah is who has a gloomy heart."(Tirmidhi,Zuhd 62,
(2413). (5891)
The pleasant conversations of believers
The believers don't seek such goals of their lowerselves as to put
themselves in the forefront or have the final say. Therefore they have
a reasonable, calm manner. Out of their understanding of courtesy
based on their commitment to the Quran's moral values, they always
allow othersto be in the forefront, try to benefit from what others
say and refrain from acting in an ignorant fashion.
Their conversations are sincere and honest. Since believers consult
each other in everythingthey do, everyone's opinions count. The
believers stay away fromproud and stubborn actions such as 'my
ideasare better'. A believer is always aware of the fact that someone
else mightknow better. For these reasons, these good conversations
help believers gain a strongerfaith, think deeper, comprehend things
better and ponder more on the signs leading to faith.
Conversations are actually very good opportunities to get to know the
people, benefit from their ideas and thoughts. The emotions, thoughts,
desires as well as their mistakes reflect on their talks. The tone is
an important indicator to tell a deep believer apartfrom a person with
low moral qualities. Because a believer, out of his firm fear of
Allah, never makes the person he is talking to uncomfortable. His
speech is sincere, wise, inspires confidence, courteous, reasonable,
humble and positive. He carefully avoids void andunnecessary
conversations that could lead people to pessimism, despair and
conflicts.
What is "Wisdom"?
The word 'wisdom' has awide meaning which can be summarized as
'putting things in the perfect way possible both in speech and
manners, concisely speaking, yet with immense meaning, and the deep
understanding capacity that Allah bestowed on His Prophets and holy
servants'. Islamic scholars defined wisdomin many ways, but the
majority agrees on the following:
"Wisdom is beneficial knowledge and sincere actions." (Elmalili M.
Hamdi Yazir, True Religion, Language of the Quran I, 915)
So, talking wisely shouldbe understood as beneficial, concise, true,
essential talks done at the right time and at theright place.
The conversations of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) are the best examples of
conversations
A believer, even if he hasknowledge of the subject discussed, thinks
of the possibility that other person might know that subject as well,
and therefore listens to his brothers and sisters with interest and
courtesy. This superior moral value of believers comes from thefact
that they follow Quran's verses, and look up to the Prophet Mohammad
(pbuh) in everything they do. Imam Gazali, describes the conversations
of the Prophet Mohammad as follows, based on the hadiths:
"...He would pay compliment to everyone present at his sight.
Therefore, everyone would get the idea that they were the most merited
there. The way he sat, listened, his words, beautiful compliments were
only for the people that sat athis presence. But his gatherings were
places of respect, humility and safety… He would call hiscompanions
with their appellation to compliment them and if any of them didn't
have appellation, they would find appellation for them and address
them so…" ( Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam Ghazzali, , Ihya Ulum-id-din ,, 2.
cilt, Çeviri: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle, Huzur Yayın Evi, 1998, s.798)
Aisha (ra) explains the words of the Prophet Muhammad (saas) on how a
Muslim should talk:
" When he talked, his words didn't come in a rapid succession like
yours do, he would talk little but in a concise way. But you keep on
adding new sentences." ( Al Fawaid, Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam Ghazzali,
Ihya Ulum-id-din, vol.2, Translation: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle, Huzur
Publishing House, Istanbul 1998, s. 800)
"The Messenger of Allah, the Prophet Mohammad (saas) talked very
concisely (with short, concise words, which convey lots of
meanings.His short sentences would give the message he intended, he
never said less or more than exactly what is needed. His words
followed each other in a harmonic way, he would pause between
sentences, making sure that his listeners understood andmemorized what
he said. He had a strong and pleasant voice. He talked when necessary
and always told the truth." (Abu Dawud, , Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, Ihya Ulum-id-din, 2. cilt, Çeviri: Dr. SıtkıGülle, Huzur
Yayınevi, İstanbul 1998, s. 800)
"When he paused, the people in his presence started talking. No one
would argue in his presence." (Tirmidhi; Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, , Ihya Ulum-id-din , vol.2, Translation: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle,
Huzur Publishing House, Istanbul 1998, s. 800)
"He was very genial, he always smiled at the Companions, liked what
they said, listened to them very carefully and considered himself to
beone of them as well." (a.g.e.)
"He gives wisdom to whoever He wills and he who has been given wisdom
has been given great good. But no one pays heed but people of
intelligence ..." (Surat al-Baqara, 269)
As the verse states, not only Prophets but ordinary people can be wise
as well. All believers- women and men- can ask our Lord togrant them
such a blessing.
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And Allah Knows the Best!
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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA
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