I have been feeling that my mind and heart are devoid of faith and
will power. This matter is tormenting me and I said to myself that
perhaps this is a touch from the Shaytaan or something like that, and
it will go away when Ramadaan comes. But it has not gone away and
Ifind it very difficult to pray qiyaam al-layl (night prayers). I have
tried to read more Qur'aan despite this waswaas (whispering) and the
distress it is causing me. My situationhas started to affect me
socially, at work, in the family and in my religion. Now I am livingin
torment because of this and I cannot find the faith which I feel
hasbeen taken away from me. I feel that I will have a bad end and that
my faith will never return tome and that a seal has been placed over
my heart. When I go to the mosque to pray, which I have not stopped
doing, I feel that I am not like the other worshippers and I envy them
for theirfaith. I also feel put off by religion and often I cannot
listen to the Qur'aan or hadeeth (prophetic narrations), or listen to
tapes, except with great difficulty. Thisis tormenting me because I do
not want this, and I want to be like I was, a believer who loves the
religion because it is the truth, but I feel that I cannot control my
mind or my feelings. I have started to think about my sins which I
believe are the cause of this, and I have started to remember many
sins which I had forgotten, as if they are appearing before me one
after the other. Untilnow I am living with thistorment, misery and
distress. I do not know what has happened to me and what the solution
and the remedy is. Will my faith come back to me or is this a bad end
and a punishment from Allaah?Finally, please do not forget to make
du'aa' (supplication) for me.
Praise be to Allaah.
My brother, have great hope in Allaah, and do not let the Shaytaan
cause you to despair of the vast mercy of Allaah which He has
guaranteed for His believing slaves. What you are telling yourself
about this being a sign that you will die following something other
than that which Allaah wants is only insinuating whispers (waswaas)
from the Shaytaan and his deviant ideas by means of which he wants to
tempt the slaves of Allaah and lead them away from their religion. So
he comes to a righteous slave and whispers to him that his good deeds
are of no avail, or that he is doing them not for the sake of Allaah
but to show off topeople, so that they will think he is good. All of
these are the usual ways with which the Shaytaantries to trick the
slaves ofAllaah, especially those who show signs of beingrighteous –
of whom I think that you are one, although I do not praise anyone
before Allah – to hinder their efforts. We seek refuge with Allaah
from him.
You need to increase your hope and trust in Allaah Who forgives all
sins, and who accepts the slave who seeks His protection and refuge,
for He is the Most Merciful, the Oft-Forgiving and the Most Loving.
You should increase yourgood deeds, such as reading Qur'aan, giving
charity, remembering Allaah (dhikr), upholdingthe ties of kinship,
etc. The weakness which youfeel also happens to others, for it is
something natural. How many people were examples followed by others
and had a great deal of drive and ambition, then they lost their drive
and ambitionfor a long time, then it came back to them by the grace of
Allaah. Remember the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him): "Everybody has his time of energy, and every time
of energy is followed by a time of lethargy. But if a person tries to
follow a moderate path, then I have hope for him, but ifhe becomes one
who is pointed out (in the street), then do not think anything of
him."
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi,2453; classed as hasan (sound) by al-Albaani
in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1995).
What is meant by "Everybody has his time of energy" is eagerness for a
thing, energy and the desire to do good.
What is meant by "every time of energy is followed by a time of
lethargy" is tiredness, weakness and lack of movement.
"But if a person tries to follow a moderate path"means that the one
who has energy does his deeds in moderation and avoids going to
extremes when he is feeling energetic and avoids being negligent when
he is feeling lethargic.
"Then I have hope for him" means, I have hopethat he will be
successful, for he can continue following a middle course, and the
most beloved deeds to Allaah are those which are continuous.
"but if he becomes one who is pointed out (in the street)" means, if
he strives hard and goes to extremes in doing good deeds so that he
will become famous for his worship and asceticism, and he becomes
famous and people point him out to one another,
"then do not think anything of him" means,do not think that he is one
of the righteous, because he is showing off. He did not say, "do not
have hope for him," as an indication that he has already fallen, and
he will not be able to make up for what he hasmissed out on.
[From Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi]
Think about this hadeeth, and relate it to your own situation and the
situation of others: you will see a clear similarity. This hadeeth
clearly states that man goes through a stage of incomparable eagerness
and great focus and ambition, then suddenly he becomes weak and loses
that focus and eagerness and ambition.When he reaches this stage, he
must strive even harder to do obligatory duties and avoid haraam
(impermissible) things. Ifhe does that, then there is the hope that he
will succeed and progress, but if he falls into haraam things and
stopsdoing obligatory things, he will be lost and doomed.
So you must turn to Allaah a great deal, seek His forgiveness and ask
Him to make you steadfast until death. I also advise you to keep away
from haraam things. May Allaah forgive your sins and make things
easier for you.
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