lap. The mannerisms of the parents are reflected in the children.
The story of Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jeelani is famous: When he was
traveling with a caravan,a gang of thieves robbed the caravan, when it
came time to check Abdul Qadir Jeelani (Rahmatullahi Alaih), an
eighteen year old young man, the thieves inquired if he had any
valuables to which told them about money which had been sewn in his
clothes by his mother. The thieves asked out of curiosity as to why he
let them knowof the sewn money to which he told them that his mother
had advised him before leaving 'to never lie' upon which the thieves
become ashamed and repented to Allah.
It is the duty of the parents to be an example to their children and
advise them. Allah (Subhanahu Ta'ala) tells us of the advise that
Luqman Hakeem gave to his son, "Behold, Luqman said Tohis son by way
of instruction: "O my son! Join not others with Allah; association
with Allah is indeed the highest wrong-doing."
Then after some ayaat, the advise continues,
O my son! If there be (but) the weight of a mustard-seed and it were
(hidden) in a rock or (anywhere) in the heavens or on earth, Allah
will bring it forth; for Allah knows the finest mysteries, (and) is
well-acquainted (with them).
O my son! Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is Just, and forbid
what is wrong; and bearwith patient constancy whatever befalls thee;
these are affairs of determination.
And swell not thy check (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence
through the earth; For Allah loveth not Any arrogant boaster.
And be moderate in thy pace, and lower they voice; for the harshest
ofsounds without doubt is the braying of an ass.
(Surah Luqman)
We can recall not to longago in our Muslim culture that all the
grown-ups in the community would take the role of guiders for the
youth. No child dared acting up in front of elders in any gathering.
All the elders held enough authority that they could discipline the
child without having to face the wrath of the parents as is the case
today. As a result, children tend to misbehave and disrespect elders
because they no longer have fear discipline fromanyone besides that
parents and that too is seen little.
Parents find out too late that what they thought was giving 'freedom'
to their children was really digging a hole for them. Being
affectionate to your child is one thing but to let them free to do
anything is not affection rather it is hurting the child. Ah, this is
all a result of the parents forgetting the duty of teaching the child.
More often the television takes the place of the parent and it is from
here the child gains much of his/her ill-mannerisms. Today, I ask you
to take my words to be a reminder and a word of caution.
When the child is able tospeak a little, teach themthe name of Allah.
Before, mothers would put their children to sleep by chanting Allah
Allah , but now it is by playing the music on theradio.
When children are mature do not do anything in front them which will
ruin their mannerisms because they tend to copy these acts, they do
whatever they see their parents doing. Never argue with your spouse in
front of them because this leavesputs a lot of stress on thechild and
causes them tothink that they are the cause of the argument. Never
curse your children.
Pray Salah in front of them, recite Quran, take them to the Masjid
with you, and tell them stories of our pious predecessors, they like
to listen to stories very much. Hearing stories with lessons and
morals will increase their good habits. When they are a little older,
teach them the five Kalimat, Imane Mujmal, Imane Mufassal, and then
teach them Salah.
Put them in under the teaching of an Allah-fearing, Mutaqee Saheehul
Aqeeda Hafiz or Maulvi of to learn Quran Majeed and knowledge of the
deen so they can learn of the beautiful religion to which they belong.
Teach them the masail ofgusul, wudu, and salah.
If Allah gives you taufeeq, make atleast onyour children Alim or
Alimah or Hafiz or Hafiza.A Hafiz will get three generations forgiven
and Alim will get seven generations forgiven [on the Day of
Judgement]. It is baseless to think that an Alim has no source of
earning bread for his family. Know that one does not get more than
destined by learning uloom of the dunya; onewill get what Razzaq has
written for him.
Teach your children simplicity and do not expose them to materialism.
Teach them the value of doing thier own work. Send them tocollege,
make them judges, make them doctors or any successfuland halal career
in this world but make them such that they take on these professions
as honest Muslims who know their religion.
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