some advice. I am a new Muslimah and am still learning about the laws
of Islam and am in a situation where I do not know whether what my
husband is telling me to do is haraam/makroo/zina. He will be
remarrying his ex-wife as soon as she gets divorced from her estranged
husband. This past week, she came over to stay so that we could meet.
His plan is that we will all live in one house. They have a son
together. We get along well, Alhamdulillah! He had us all three lying
in bed together and both of us cuddled up to him, whilehe insisted
that we werenaked. There were timeswhen he made us expose our
nakedness toeach other and he would kiss and caress us in front of
each other in this state. He also made us touch each other. He talks
about us all sharingone bed three nights a week when we live together.
My question is: Is any of this haraam/zina? I wantto please my
husband, but I do not want to anger Allah to do it.
I am also deeply concerned about him at this stage, whilst they ate
both not married to each other, but married to other people and
theyare doing everything but penetration (he says then it is not
adultery).
Please answer my question. I have searched everywhere foranswers on
intimate relations with co-wives in the same bed and can find nothing.
I know that intimacy between two women (lesbianism)is zina, but where
does this stand?
Praise be to Allah.
If the 'iddah (waiting period following divorce) of a
revocably-divorced wife ends, she becomes a "stranger" to the husband
like any other women who are not related to him; it is not permissible
for him to touch her, look at her or be alone with her, and if she
gets married to another man, the matter becomes more serious and more
abhorrent.
Based on that, so long asyour husband has not done a marriage contract
with this woman, what he is doing of embracing her, touching her or
kissing her is one of the gravest of evil actions. We do not know how
any Muslim can do such a thing. If he has decided to marry her, how
can he not have any patience to avoid what is haraam, until she
becomes permissible to him?! We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound.
If this woman is still married to her (current) husband or he has
divorced her but she is still in the 'iddah (waiting period), then it
is even more serious andmore abhorrent, as stated above, and she is
betraying her husband.
Whatever the case, whatyour husband is doing with this woman is
blatant immorality and itis a kind of zina (adultery). Zina is of
varying degrees, some of which incur the hadd punishment, namely
intercourse in the vagina, and some are less serious than that, such
as looking, touching and so on. But all of them are haraam and one
leads to the other, darkness upon darkness. We ask Allah tokeep us
safe and sound by His grace. Al-Bukhaari(5744) and Muslim (4801)
narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) said: "Allah has decreed for the son of Adam his
share of zina which he will inevitably fall into. The zina of the eyes
is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, the nafs (self) wishes
and longs, and the private part confirmsthat or denies it."
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Any woman who
takes off her clothes anywhere but in her husband's house, has torn
the screen that was between her and Allaah."
Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 3750; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
If your husband is encouraging this woman to get divorced from her
(current) husband so that she can go back to him, then he has fallen
into another sin, which is ruining her and spoiling her for her
husband. It was narratedthat Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) said: The Messengerof Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) said: "He is not one of us who turns a woman against her husband
or a slave against his master." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2175; classed
assaheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Abu Dawood also narrated (5170) that AbuHurayrah (may Allah be pleased
with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: "Whoever turns a man's wife or slave against himis
not one of us." Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeem Abaadi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Whoever turns… against" means whoeverdeceives and corrupts.
"a woman against her husband" by mentioningthe husband's bad qualities
in front of his wife, or the good qualities of another manin front of
her.
End quote from 'Awn al-Ma'bood, 6/159
And he said: "Whoever turns a man's wife against him" means ruining
and corrupting her, or making the idea of divorce seem good to her, so
that he could marry her or someone else can marry her, and so on.
'Awn al-Ma'bood, 14/52
Some scholars are of the view that if a man turns a woman against her
husband, it is permanently haraam for him to marry her, and his
marriage to her is not valid.
See the answer to question no. 84849
To sum up, what your husband is doing in front of you is a great evil,
and it is not permissible for you to approve of it or keep quiet about
it, let alone take part in it. What you have to do is exhort
yourhusband and advise him,and explain to him that what he is doing is
abhorrent and haraam. If he stops, then praise be to Allah, but if he
persists in this action it isnot permissible for you to be present
when this evil is being committed. You can threaten to expose him and
disclose what he is doing. Then ifhe persists in that, it is
permissible for you to ask for a divorce, because of his evildoing and
sin.
Secondly:
Being together with twowives in one bed is permissible subject to
three conditions:
(i) That it be with their consent, because the wife has
a right to separate accommodation and her jealousy may prevent her
from allowing another wife to share her bed.
(ii) Neither of them should uncover her'awrah in front of
the other. The 'awrah of onewoman in front of another in the area
between the navel and the knee. It is haraam for a woman to look at
the 'awrah of another woman.
(iii) He should not have intercourse with one of them in
the presence of the other. See the answer to question no. 26265
Thirdly:
If a woman touches another woman with desire, that is haraam; if there
is no desire, that there is nothing wrong with it.
Fourthly:
One of the rights that the wife has over her husband is that he should
give her her own accommodation, and shehas the right to refuse tolive
with her co-wife.
We ask Allah to guide us and you and to make us steadfast.
And Allah knows best.
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