Social conduct, good manners and respect for the rights of each other,
again, form an importantpart of Islamic teachings. One can become a
good and true Muslim only when one also observes faithfully the social
code of Islam by which we mean the rules and regulations governing the
modes and manner of behaviour between man and man and between man and
society as laid down by it. For instance, what should the attitude of
parents be towards their children and of children towards their
parents? What sort of conduct should prevail between brothers and
between brothers and sisters? How should husband andwife live
together? How to treat those who are older than ourselves and those
who are younger? What are the rights of our neighbuors on us? How
should the rich behave towards the poorand the poor towards the rich?
What mode of relationship should be maintained between master and
servant? And, so forth. Islam has provided us with a most
comprehensive and complete guidance of law to fulfil our social
responsibilities and act inour dealings and relationships with all
those individuals and groups with whom we come into contact, one way
or the other, in different walks of our daily life, and this is whatwe
are going to discuss in this chapter.
Rights of Parents:
The most primary relationship in this worldexists between man and his
parents. In Islam the rights of parents have been described as next
only to the rights of Allah(Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa). To quote from the
Holy Quraan:
The Lord has ordained that ye worship none butHim; and to show
kindness to your parents whether one or both of them attain to old age
with Thee; and say not tothem "Fie!" neither reproach them; but speak
to them both with respectful speech; and defer humbly to them out of
tenderness; and say, "Lord! have compassion on them both, as they
reared me when I was little." [XVII: 23-24]
Another verse of the HolyBook goes on to tell that should the parents
of a person be polytheists and want him also to follow their faith, he
ought to decline to obey them, but even then he should continue to
treat them well and to behave towards them with respect. The exact
words of the verse are:
But if they strive to make thee join in worship withMe things of which
thou hast no knowledge, obeythem not; yet bear them company in this
life with justice (and consideration) [XXXI: 15]
Beside the Holy Quraan, in the Traditions also great stress has been
laidon rendering full devotion and obedience to one's parents. To
disobey one's parents, to ignore their feelings, or to disregard their
comfort or happiness in any other way has been characterised by the
Prophet (Sallallahu AlaiheWasallam) as a grievous sin. Take these
Traditions, for example:
"In the pleasure of parents lies the pleasure of Allah (Subhaanahu
Wata'aalaa) and in their displeasure the displeasure of Allah
(Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa)."
Once a person enquired from the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam),
"What are therights of parents?" The Prophet (Sallallahu
AlaiheWasallam) replied,"Parents are the heaven and hell of their
children (meaning that salvation and paradise could be gained by
serving one's parents well while disobedience to and ill treatment of
them could lead one to hell)."
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam) once observed, "Every time a
dutiful son or daughter looks with affection and respect towards his
or her father or mother Allah (Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa) writes against
his or her name the reward of an, accepted Hajj." Upon this,some of
the Companions enquired, "Our Master! Suppose a person does so a
hundred times each day; will he, even then, be given the reward of an
accepted Hajj for every glance he casts?""Yes", the Prophet
(Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam) replied, "Allah (Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa)
is the Most Great, the Most Holy (meaning that the bounty of the Lord
is boundless)."
In one Tradition, it is told, "Heaven lies under the feet of the parents."
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam) once said to the Companions
that the most mortal sins in the world were three:
"To associate anyone with Allah (Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa), to disobey
parents, and to give falseevidence."
Again, "Their are three types of men towards whom Allah (Subhaanahu
Wata'aalaa) will not look with mercy on the Day of Judgement one of
them are those who disobey their parents."
Rights of Children:
Islam has laid an equal stress on the rights of children on parents
also. We will leave out here the responsibility of parents to feed and
clothe their children since an instinctive awareness of these are
found in them and they carry it out normally and in the natural way.
The rights of our childrenabout which we are generally careless and
neglectful, are those concerning their moral and religious training
and up-bringing. Islam has made it binding on us, as a matter of duty
that we brought up our wards and children in such a way that they did
not have to make their way to hell after death. We are required to be
extremely careful in this respect. Says the Holy Quraan:
O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from the Fire of
Hell. [LXVI:6]
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam) has, in a Tradition, stressed
the need of giving proper training to children in these words:
"No better gift can there be from a father to his children then that
he brought them up properly."
Some parents are more fond of their sons than daughters. They take a
great interest in the upbringing of their male issues while the
welfare and training of the female ones are generally neglected by
them. Daughters are, sometimes, considered tobe a burden. For this
reason, Islam has devoted particular attention to the proper
upbringing of girls and extolled it as an act of great virtue. The
Holy Prophet (Sallallahu AlaiheWasallam) has said:
"Anyone who has a daughter or a sister and he treats her well and
looks after her welfare and training carefully and marries her at the
right place, Allah (Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa) will reward him with
paradise."
Mutual Rights betweenHusband and Wife:
Conjugal relationship occupies a place of outstanding importance in
the economy of human affairs. It is most strong and intimate tie that
binds husband and wife into a life-long partnership. Islam, therefore,
has furnished a complete guidance in respect of it as well. In
nutshell, Islam demands from wives to be scrupulously faithful to
their husbands and to remain their best friends and true well-wishers
and never to betray theirtrusts. The Holy Quraan declares:
Therefore, the righteous women are obedient, and guard (in the
husband's) absence. [IV:34]
And from husbands it requires that they shouldgive their love
ungrudgingly to their wives, maintain them as best as they can within
their means and leave nothing to be desired by way of their emotional
contentment. Says, again,the Holy Quraan:
Live with your wives on afooting of kindness and equity. [IV:19]
In keeping with these teachings of the Holy Quraan, the Prophet
(Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam) used to attach profound importance to the
harmony of married life among Muslims. He used to urge upon Muslim
husbands and wives to keep each otherhappy and to attend to each
other's needs and interests with loving care. Some of his Traditions
in this connection read:
"If a man calls his wife to him and the wife refuses and he stays
annoyed with her during the night, the angels will not cease to curse
her name till day-break."
"The woman who dies in such a state that her husband is pleased with
her shall go to Heaven."
"By the Lord in whose power lies the life of Muhammad (Sallallahu
Alaihe Wasallarn), no woman can fulfil the rights of Allah (Subhaanahu
Wata'aalaa) who does not fulfil the rights of herhusband."
"Charge you to be kind toyour wives. Remember this advice of mine.
See, they are subordinate to you and in your power."
"Good among you are those who are good to their wives."
"He is the most perfect believer (in the sight of Allah Subhaanahu
Wata'aalaa) who is perfect in his manners and most affectionate
towards his wife and children."
Rights of Relatives:
Besides our parents and children and husbands orwives there also
exists a special tie of kinship between us and our other relatives.
Islam has paid due attention to thisaspect of our social existence,
too, and evolved certain rights and duties in respect of it. Thus, in
the Holy Quraan we are told to be kind to our kinsmen and one who
disregards and pays no heed to the bonds of kinship has been condemned
as a transgressor and a sinnerof the worst order.
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam) once said, "He who violates
the rights of kinsmen and shows no respect forthe bonds of kinship in
his conduct shall not go to heaven."
In this connection a special advice of the Prophet (Sallallahu
AlaiheWasallam) is that if a relative violates the ties of
relationship with regard to us even then we should continue to fulfil,
on our part, the obligations we have towards him. The words of the
Holy Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam) are, "If a near relative
treats you indifferently and ignores the bond of relationship, do not
turn your back on him but keep on discharging, on your part, the
obligations of relationship towards him."
Rights of the Old on the Young and of the Young on the Old:
It is a general principle ofIslamic social behaviour that everyone
should respect his elders and carry himself with due deference in
their presence. In the same way, those who are olderare required to,
treat those who are younger to them with kindness and affection, even
if there be no relationship between them.
Said the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam): "He is not of us who is
not affectionate to those who are younger than himself and respectful
to those who are older.
"For the young man who will honour an old man because of his years,
Allah (Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa) will appoint men who will honour him in
his old age."
Rights of Neighbours:
Apart from relatives, there obtains a permanent association also
between a man and his neighbours. In Islam full attention has
accordingly, been paid toit and definite instructions have been
provided for our guidance in this behalf aswell. The Holy Quraan calls
upon us to be good-and courteous in our behaviour towards our
neighbors in the same way as it has commanded us to maintain the best
of conduct towards our parents, brothers and sisters and towards our
other near relatives:
And then Neighbours who are near, and the neighbours who are strangers
and the companions by your side.[IV:36]
Three categories of neighbours have been spoken of in this verse and
it is expected of us tomaintain cordial relations with all of them.
The phrase "neighbours who are near" denotes neighbours who may also
happen to be our relatives; "neighbours who are strangers" denotes
those with whom we have no familyties, and non-muslim neighbours are
included in this category. Whereas"companions by your side" means
persons withwhom we come into contact temporarily in the course of our
daily activities like a casual acquaintance, a fellow- traveller, a
classmate anda colleague whatever their religious denomination is,
Islam reminds us that we have an obligation to be friendly and
sympathetic towards all the three categories of neighbours.
Says the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam):
"He who believes in Allah(Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa) and the Day of
Recompense should never harm his neighbour."
"He is not a Muslim who eats his fill and lets his neighbour go hungry."
It is narrated that the Apostle of Allah (Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa) once
emphatically exclaimed,"He is not a believer in Allah (Subhaanahu
Wata'aalaa)." The question was asked, "O Apostle of Allah (Subhaanahu
Wata'aalaa)! Who is not abeliever in Allah (Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa)?"
The Prophet (Sallallahu AlaiheWasallam) observed,"Whose neighbour does
not feel secure on his account."
Yet another Tradition reads:
"He shall not go to Heaven from whose mischief his neighbours do not
feel secure."
It is reported that once a Companion said to the Prophet (Sallallahu
AlaiheWasallam), "O Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam) there is a
woman about whom it is said that she offers a great deal of prayers,
observes a great deal of fasts and does a great deal of charity, but
she also causes a great deal of trouble to her neighbours owing to the
sharpness of her tongue." The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu AlaiheWasallam)
observed,"She will go to Hell." The Companion then said, "O Apostle of
Allah (Subhaanahu Wata'aalaa)! There is another woman about, whom it
is said that she engages herself little in prayers, fasting and
charity (that is, she observes the prayers, fasts and charity less
thanthe first woman) but never offends her neighbours by her tongue.
The Holy Prophet(Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam) observed,"She will be in
Heaven."
Brothers! Such are the rights of neighbours in Islam. Alas, how
heedless have we now grown to them!
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