Redemption

Question: I have done a lot of things which God would not be happy
about. Now that I realize that those things were not as trivial as I
thought and do carry a lot of significance in-front of God. I feel bad
and guilty.What should I do?
Answer: Although a Muslim should be concerned about every deed of his
and should constantly strive for his spiritual advancement, yet his
concern should not be a case of 'straining at a gnat and swallowing a
camel'. The puritanical attitude of being finical about trivialities
while ignoringthe real issues is not an Islamic attitude. The true
believers avoid big sins (see the Qur'an 42:37 and53:32) and
continually seek the forgiveness of their Lord' (9:112). If
yourattitude is not of insistingon your sin knowingly (3:135), which
insistence can at times eat up all your virtues (2:81), then you
should know that your Lord, whose love and care has sustained you
since you were a drop of 'mingled water', is immensely kind and
gracious to those who believe and put their trust in Him. If you are
sincerely trying to avoid sin, He'll replace the blunders you make
with the good deeds that are part of a Muslim's everyday life (25:70).
He understands all our imperfections and failings, and what He, in His
unfathomable mercy, requires of us is not perfection but sincerity.
For He knows. And He cares. Therefore, never let your depression after
blundering into a sin make you lose heart. Let each mistake be a
lesson, and a reason to move ahead with greater fervour. For that is
what Tawbah means: returning. Even if a true believer commits a
serious sin incidentally, he should remember thatthe doors of
repentance and atonement are always open. If he has wronged someone,
he should make the best effort to make amends, and if he has wronged
his own soul, he should ask God for forgiveness and make a solemn
pledge to restrain himselfin future.
If you do not deceive your Lord and turn back to Him, you'll find Him
welcoming you with open arms. In this is indeed a reason to rejoice.
So, never lose hope and never stop trying. 'The Lord is your shepherd.
You shall not want. He shall make you lie down in green pastures: He
shall lead you beside the still waters. He shall restore your soul: He
shall lead you in the path of righteousness for His name's sake.
Though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, fear not;
for you are withHim. His rod and His staff shall comfort you.'