slightestclue what I did to make her stop. We started dating, we were
happy. We began fighting every now and then, but I still loved her.
She began acting different, losing interest in the concept of us, I
didnt know why. Whenever I confronted her about it, it'd turn intoan
argument, so I left it alone. She started drifting, further and
further into open waters,out of my reach. My suspicions became a
reality when I found out she was cheating. I was so angry with her, I
didn't know what I did wrong and she never said. I still respected her
decision, even though I felt half-dead. He started treating her like
she didn't matter, as if she didn't mean a thing. This made me angry,
I beat some sense into him. They broke up, she came running back to
me, we were secretly already together, she cheated on him. She told me
the one thing she wanted was to be with me again, I knewshe was wrong
to do what she did. She knew it to, hence I took her back, not
realizing the real impact. We were happy together, once again, with
each fight brought us closer, she was mine again. I was the happiest
man, or so itseemed, until she told meshe was unhappy with me. She
told me everything she wanted me to be, I changed for her, to make her
happy.
Soon after changing, souly with her, she told me she was unhappy once
more. She said she wanted me to be myself again, she denied anything
of what she said she wanted me to be. Things led on, left and right,
we're now not on speaking terms, yet I love her with all my might.
How? You may ask. Well what you dont know, I was with her through
everything, holding her hand. She wasn't a very good girlfriend,
always throwing other men in my face, but I know I'm not the victim
here, or so I think. I was so nice to her, was the shoulder for her
tears, I was there for her at night, and I'm still here. I miss her so
much, more than one can bear, more than one can imagine, I hope she
knows I'm still here. The hatred I have for her is more passionate
than known, I hate her so much, but I can't wrap my head around as to
why. Maybe I hate myself for falling for her. Or for thinking we could
alwaysbe together. Or is it because I miss her so much, but love her
even more, and hate her with a hatred, worth killing a boar? This I'll
never know, but I do know onething, I still love her, and really hope
she loves me. All I can do is hope and pray, and as much as I don't
want there to be anus again, the thought is always still there.
Sitting in the back of my mind, stronger than ever, stronger than 30
tractors,crushing a crude soul. I still love her, more than she knows,
yet I dont want her to see this, or toever know. Shes treated me worse
than dirt, somesay she doesnt deserve me, yet it doesnt show here, but
I still love her todeath. And I just hope that she knows that I'm
still here if she needs me...
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