Short Story - Comedy - The prophets of the false gods were determined tobrag on themselves.

So they bragged unceasingly…to family and friends, neighbors, and to
each other…especially to each other.
"We're the best," bragged False Prophet No. 1.
"Yes, we are, aren't we?,"agreed False Prophet No. 2.
"What are your accuracy rates?," asked False Prophet No. 3.
"My accuracy rate this week was 14 percent," bragged False Prophet No.
1. "That's a big improvement for me."
"My accuracy rate this week was nine percent," False Prophet No. 2
grinned. "But that's my best week since I began prophesying here at
the School of the False Prophets three years ago."
"I was a bit off my game this week," admitted False Prophet No. 3.
"But Istill managed to score a credible 38 percent."
Head False Prophet then joined the conversation. "Each of you is doing
a wonderful job," he complimented them withhis usual sly smile. "I'm
proud of you."
Head False Prophet continued, "I want to encourage you to keep up the
good work. Always remember this, as prophets, it's always a percentage
thing. If you ever score more than 50 percent in a week, that's as
close to perfect as you're ever going to get."
"How long have you been in the prophecy business?," asked False Prophet No. 1.
Head False Prophet was overjoyed about his prophecy career. "I'll be
95 years old next week," he stated. "I've been a prophet for 70 years,
including the last 20 years in my current position."
"How's your percentage of accuracy?," asked FalseProphet No. 2.
"My overall percentage ofaccuracy is 43 percent," said Head False
Prophet. "My best week's percentage was 56 percent."
"Wow!," exclaimed False Prophet No. 1. "You're the man!"
"Yes I am, aren't !," declared Head False Prophet. "Yes I am!"
From His eternal throne, God was listening to the conversation, and He
knew He needed to address the false prophets, who trembled when they
sensed the presence of the Sovereign Lord. "You guys are very proud of
yourselves," God observed.
"Yes, Sir, we are," Head False Prophet admitted.
"I don't know why," said the Lord, "with such paltry percentages of success."
Momentarily, Head False Prophet forgot with whom he was talking. "I
suppose you know someone else who can do better!," he sneered.
"I sure do," God chuckled."When I give a message to a prophet to
deliver, and he says what I tell him to say, my percentage of accuracy
is100 percent!"
"I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut," said Head False Prophet.
"Yes you do!," God agreed. "Yes you do!"