Monday, September 3, 2012

Should he allow his daughter to sleep over at her non-Muslim friend’s house?

Is it permissible/advisablefor my 16year old daughter to sleep over at
her non muslim friends house (there will be no males present, only her
friend and her friends mother)
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
It is not permissible for the Muslim to take a non-Muslim as a close
friend, because Allah, mayHe be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians as Auliya
(friends, protectors, helpers, etc.), they are but Auliya to one
another. And if any amongst you takes them as Auliya, thensurely he is
one of them. Verily, Allah guides not those people who are the
Zalimoon (polytheists andwrongdoers and unjust)"
[al-Maa'idah 5:51]
"O you who believe! Take not as (your) Bitanah (advisors, consultants,
protectors, helpers, friends, etc.) those outsideyour religion
(pagans, Jews, Christians, and hypocrites) since they willnot fail to
do their best to corrupt you. They desire to harm you severely. Hatred
has already appeared from their mouths, but what their hearts conceal
is far worse. Indeed We have made plain to you the Ayat (proofs,
evidences, verses) if you understand"
[Aal 'Imraan 3:118].
And there are other versesthat forbid loving the disbelievers and
taking them as confidantes and close friends.
Abu Dawood (4832) and at-Tirmidhi (2395) narrated from Abu Sa'eed that
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not
keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your
food but one who is pious."
Classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Friendship and keeping company leads to love and approval, and it is
notpermissible to show that towards the kaafir.
This does not mean that there should be a complete cutting off of ties
between Muslims andnon-Muslims; rather she can visit her socially and
when she is sick, and give her gifts, without loving her or taking
part in her festivals, and her intention in visiting her and giving
her gifts should be to call her to Islam. This is what our Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did. See question no. 23325
Based on that, you shouldexplain to your daughter the guidelines on
interacting with non-Muslims and help herto develop a feeling of pride
in her religion and adhering to its commands, even if that goes
against one's whims and desires. You should also discourage her from
thinking of spending the night outside her home, because sleeping over
in someone else's house is indicative of very close friendship, and we
have stated above that it is not permissible for the Muslimto form
such a close friendship with a non-Muslim. Perhaps she may be
attracted to some of their ways and influenced by that without
realising. The negative consequences of mixing too much with people
who are not religiously committed are many, so how about mixing with
people who are not of the same religion?
And Allah knows best.

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