prophet, on whom be peace, to complain that their husbands had beaten
them. The prophetannounced that men whobeat their wives are not good
men. The prophet also said: Do not beat the female servants of Allah.
Allah knows that life is not always a bowl of cherries. And so He
stipulates that a man must be kind to his wife even if he happens to
dislike her (Qur'an 4:19). Allah offers a good reasonas to why men
should notdislike their wives. Allah says that He has placed much good
in women (Qur'an 4:19). In this regard the prophet Muhammad, on whom
be peace, said that no believing man should hold a grudge against a
believing woman. So what is a husband to do ifhe dislikes some things
about his wife? This is bound to occur, since no human being is
perfect. The prophet instructed that men should look for the agreeable
traits in their wives rather than focus on their faults. (See Saheeh
Muslim, chapter on advice relating to women).
The prophet also advised men that if they wish to benefit from
marriage they should accept their wives as they are rather than try to
straighten them out and thus end upin divorce. In the following verse
of the Qur'an, Allah warns men that if they retain their wives in
marriage it should not be to take advantage of them. The verse reads:
Retain them in kindness or release them in kindness. But do not retain
them to their hurt so that you transgress (the limits). If anyone does
that he wrongs his own soul. Do not take God's instructions as a
jest(Qur'an 2:231).
Once the prophet, on whom be peace, was asked what are the obligations
of husbands toward their wives. He replied:
Feed her when you eat, and provide her clothing when you provide
yourself. Neither hit her on the face nor use impolite language when
addressing her (See Mishkat, chapter on the maintenance of women).
The prophet equated perfect belief with good treatment to one's wife
when he said:
The most perfect believer is one who is the best in courtesy and
amiable manners, and the best among you people is one who is most kind
and courteous to his wives (see Tirmidhi, chapter on the obligations
of a man to his wife).
Finally, the prophet, the best example of conduct said:
The best among you is the one who treats his family best.
Some of the last words of the prophet delivered during the farewell
pilgrimage enjoins that men should hold themselves accountable before
Allah concerning the question of how they treat their wives. Therefore
his advice to all men, is as follows:
You must treat them withall kindness.
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