Does she have the right to do that even if her husband does not
approve on the grounds that she is not doing anything haraam; rather
it is permissible? What are the limits on thewife's obeying the
husband so long as he does not tell her to do something sinful?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The wife is obliged to obey her husband because he is in charge of
her. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Men are the
protectors and maintainers of women" [an-Nisa' 4:34].
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 'Ali ibn Abi Talhah
said, narrating from Ibn 'Abbaas: "Men are the protectors and
maintainers of women" means: they are in charge of them, that is, the
wife should obey the husband in that in which Allah has commanded her
to obey him; part of that obedience is that she should treat his
family kindly and look after his wealth.
Something similar was stated by Muqaatil, as-Suddi and ad-Dahhaak.End
quote from Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 2/293
Two things are excluded from the obligation of thewife to obey her husband:
1. If obeying him will result in falling into sin, either by
failing to do something obligatory or by doing something that is
forbidden. In this case itis not permissible for the wife to obey her
husband,because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: "There is no obedience to any created being if it involves
disobedience towards Allah, may He be glorified and exalted." Narrated
by al-Bukhaari, 6830; Muslim, 1840
2. If obeying the husband will result in harm to the wife or it
will lead to loss of her rights. In that case she is not obliged to
obey her husband, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "Obedience is only in that which is right and proper."
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "There should
be neither harm nor reciprocating harm."
For more information see the answer to question no. 97125
Secondly:
It is permissible for a woman to cut and dye her hair, so long as that
cut does not resemble men or kaafir women or immoral women, and the
hair is not dyed black.
The ruling on cutting and dyeing the hair for women has been discussed
previously. Please see the answer to question no. 139414 and 82671
If the husband has not given his wife permission to cut or dye her
hair, then it is not permissible for her to do that. That is because
she is enjoined toobey him so long as he does not tell her to do
anything sinful and because it is the husband's right that his wife
should beautify herself for him. There is no doubt that the hair is
part of the woman's beauty.
And Allah knows best.
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