years, but I hope that you can advise me so that I do not have to
wait. The first divorce was when he said, in a state of anger when
hewas aware of what he was saying: "You are divorced." The second
divorce was a conditional talaaq ("If you go out of the house you are
divorced"), and I went out, and I do not remember the intention. Atthe
time of the third divorce I was collapsing, because he betrayed me and
I spoke to him on the phone and said, "I will kill your children if
you do not divorce me." According to what my husband says, he said to
himself, "By Allah I do not intend divorce, by Allah I do not intend
divorce, by Allah I do not intend divorce," but he said"You are
divorced" to makeme calm down, because he feared for his children, as
I was not in my right mind. The fourth divorce was a conditional
talaaq ("If you complain to anyone about our problems again you will
be divorced"). I do not remember if I had complained to anyone.
Thefifth divorce was when I was asleep and he swore to my daughter:
"If your mother opens the door to you and takes you in, she will be
divorced." My daughter told me after I opened the door that his
intention was to threaten me. As for the last divorce, he swore to me,
"You should go today to your father in your city, and if you do not go
you will be divorced." And I did not travel, but his intention was
divorce.
Please advise me, because my husband is careless about the life of his
children and family, even though he has high academic qualifications;
he hates me and he changed towards me after he took another wife. I
have been patient for the sake of my children, despite the way he
treats me, which is with resentment and hatred. Butnow, after what has
happened, he does not come to the house and he does not ask about us,
except on rare occasions. Please advise me. Please note that he does
not wantto come back to me, and if I go back I will be living in limbo
as I was after he married the other wife.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We should point out with regard to the divorces mentioned that
whatever the shar'i court had ruled to be valid is valid, or if
youalready asked a scholar whatever he told you was valid is valid.
Secondly:
If there is no court ruling orscholarly verdict concerning these
divorces, then what appears to us tobe the case is the following:
The first divorce: if this divorce was issued in a state of extreme
anger thatdrove him to divorce, and without that anger he would not
have issued thatdivorce, then it does not count as such according to
the more correct opinion, even if the husband was aware of what he was
saying when he was in thatstate of anger. See the answer to question
no. 45174
The second divorce: this comes under the heading of a conditional
divorce in which reference should be made to the husband's intention.
If he intended it as a divorce then it counts as such, but if he
intended thereby to threaten and stop you doing something, then he has
to offer expiation for breaking an oath (kafaarat al-yameen). If he
cannot remember what his intention was, then it counts as a divorce.
The third divorce: if the husband was truly afraid that you would kill
the children or do them some obvious harm, then his divorce does not
count as such, because it was a divorce under compulsion.
The fourth divorce: this comes under the heading of conditional
divorce and does not count as such unless you did complain about your
problems to anyone, and the husband did intend divorce by what he
said.
The fifth divorce: also comes under the heading of conditional
divorce. If the husband intended it as a divorce then it counts as
such.
Based on that, if you find out the kind of anger that accompanied the
first divorce, then you will know the ruling on it.
By referring to the husbandand asking him about his intention, the
ruling on thesecond divorce will becomeclear.
He should also be asked about the third divorce, in order to find out
the ruling on it.
If your husband did not take you back after the final divorce and your
'iddah has ended, then this is an irrevocable divorce and you cannot
go back to him except with a new marriage contract, on condition that
the number of divorces that counted as such did not reach three.
And Allah knows best.
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