want the greatest good in your relationship with your brothers who are
near to you. If you see that Allah (SW) singles out one of your
brothers with a particular blessing, either worldly or religious,it is
incumbent that you search deep into your heart and find feelings of
sincere happiness for him. It is stated in a hadith,"None of you truly
believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for
himself." A sign of this love is that you do not become quickly
angered if your brother makes a mistake while trying to do something
good. Rather than opposing or criticizing him, you should assist himin
the rectification of his mistake in a gentle way. Itis not easy to
have this attribute become firmly planted in the heart, because envy
(hasad) is subtle, even among your companions. However, by being
sincere and turning to Allah Most High continuously, this affair
becomes easy. So, if you see that Allah (SWT) has blessed one of your
brothers with uprightness,enlightenment, or righteousness, and it
weighs heavy on your heart, the cure for this is to pray that Allah
increase him in what He has given him. Say:
O Allah, increase him! O Allah, give him openings!
O Allah, give him Divine success!
O Allah, guide others by means of him!
The existence of the darkness of envy in the soul is a sign of not
loving good for others. If Allah bestows a blessing up someone, you
might say to yourself, "Masha-Allah, Allah has blessed him withthat."
However, if he happens to make the slightest mistake, you become
angered and say things like, "He doesn't know what he is doing!
Hedoesn't understand! He's not benefiting people!" Pay attention to
what youare saying here. Which is greater, the good he was doing, or
the mistake that he made?
Another sign that the heart does not desire good for others is
hastening to mention people's errors. This does not mean that you
remainsilent about the mistakes. Rather, it is upon you to advise your
brother and strive to rectify the fault, without diminishing their
honor. Your duty when rectifying is to correct the mistake, not to
diminish the stature of the one whomade the blunder. There isa big
difference between the two. From the subtle, evil aspects of the soul
regarding this, is the claimthat your self is perfect and the other is
deficient. Take for instance, when one says, "I am more knowledgeable
than him. How could he be the one who does that? How couldhe have more
students? Why are people praising him?" This is claiming thatthe self
is perfect. Or whenone says, "I have been studying longer than him. I
have more sincerity than him,"
Do you know who said"I?" Pay attention! The one who said, "I," was
Iblis. "I am better than him. You created me of fire, while You
created himof mud." (7:12) He (Iblis), laughs at you and makes you his
student when you say, "I" like he did. You arestudents of the
inheritors of the Prophet (Sallahu alayhi wassllam), not of Iblis.
As for the other aspect of seeking deficiencies in your brother, when
you say things like, "He does not know. He doesn't understand. He made
a mistake in that. He didn't organize this, etc." What isyour
intention in saying these things? If your intention is to try to
rectify his mistake, may Allah bless you because loving good for
people necessitates this. However,if your intention when he makes a
mistake is that you don't want him to do something good, sacrifice, or
work hard… look into your hearts. Do you want to stop a good action
frombeing done? Pay attentionto what is going on.
Don't say anything that your brother would dislikeif he were to become
aware of what you said. You may only speak to theextent that is needed
to rectify a wrong and give advice. You must address him first, if you
are unable to, a third person that you know could benefit the
situation by influencing him, or speaking to him. But to let your
tongue loose and talk negatively about him saying things like, "So and
so did this. Soand so doesn't know. So and so made a mistake. Soand so
just wants this for himself. So and so just wants to be known."
Whatdoes saying these things really mean? This is backbiting (ghibah),
and completely impermissible.
You can speak to the extent that is necessary to rectify the mistake,
but it is not permissible to criticize or dishonor your brother. If
you are able to gently allude to your brother's imperfection ('Aib) to
rectify the situation, it is better than speaking to him directly.
Ifyou are able to simply move your lips to inform the person, it is
better than raising your voice so that others can hear. If you can
speak directly to him, it is not permissible to speak to another about
it.