and establishing a stable familylife, it is essential to choosethe
right partner in the firstplace!
♥ Among the great Muslim women who are known fortheir strength of
character, lofty aspirations and far-sightedness in their choice of a
husband is ♥ Umm Sulaym bint Milhan ♥, who was one of the first Ansaar
women to embrace Islam. She was married to Malik ibn Nadar, and bore
him a son, Anas. When she embraced Islam, her husband Malik was angry
with her, and left her, but she persisted in her Islam. Shortly
afterwards, she heard the news of his death, and she was still in the
flower of her youth. She bore it all with the hope of reward, for the
sake of Allah (subhaanahu wa 'ta'aalaa), and devoted herself to taking
care of herten-year- old son Anas. Shetook him to the Prophet (SAW) ,
so that he could serve him (and learn from him).
♥ One of the best young men of Madinah, one of thebest looking,
richest and strongest, came to seek herhand in marriage. This was ♥
Abu Talhah♥ - before he became Muslim. Many of the young women of
Yathrib liked him because of his wealth, strength and youthful good
looks, and he thought that Umm Sulaym would joyfully rushto accept his
offer. But to his astonishment, she told him, "O Abu Talhah, do younot
know that your god whom you worship is just a tree that grew in the
ground and was carved into shape by the slave of Banu so-and-so." He
said, "Of course." She said, "Do you not feel ashamed to prostrate
yourself to a piece of wood that grew inthe ground and was carvedby
the slave of Banu so-and-so?" Abu Talhah was stubborn, and hinted to
her of an expensive dowry and luxurious lifestyle, but she persisted
in her point of view, and told him frankly: "O Abu Talhah, a man like
you could not be turned away, but you are a disbelieving man, and I am
a Muslim woman. It is not permitted for me to marry you, but if you
were to embrace Islam, that would be my dowry (mahr), and I would ask
you for nothing more." (Reported by al-Nisa'i)
He returned the following day to try to tempt her with a larger dowry
and more generous gift, but she stood firm, and her persistence and
maturity only enhanced her beauty in his eyes. She said to him,"O Abu
Talhah, do you not know that your god whomyou worship was carved bythe
carpenter slave of so-and-so? If you were to set it alight, it would
burn."Her words came as a shock to Abu Talhah, and he asked himself,
"Does the Lord burn?" Then he uttered the words: "Ashhadu an laa
ilaaha ill-Allah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan rasul-Allah."
Then Umm Sulaym said to her son Anas, with joy flooding her entire
being, "O Anas, marry me to Abu Talhah." So Anas brought witnesses and
the marriage was solemnized.
Abu Talhah was so happy that he was determined to put all his wealth
at Umm Sulaym's disposal, but hers was the attitude of the selfless,
proud, sincere believing woman. She told him, ♥ ♥ "O Abu Talhah, I
married you for the sake ofAllah (subhaanahu wa 'ta'aalaa), and I will
not take any other dowry." ♥ ♥She knew that when Abu Talhah embraced
Islam, she did not only win herself a worthy husband, but she also
earned a reward from Allah (subhaanahu wa 'ta'aalaa) that was better
than owning red camels (the most highly-prized kind) inthis world, as
she had heard the Prophet (SAW) say:
"If Allah (subhaanahu wa 'ta'aalaa) were to guide one person to Islam
through you, it is better foryou than owning red camels." ( Fath
al-Bari)
*(♥)* Such great Muslim women are examples worthy of emulation, from
whom Muslim women maylearn purity of faith, strength of character,
soundness of belief and wisdom in choosing a husband. —
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