"… And do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our
remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in]
neglect." [al-Kahf: 28]
As for good character, then 'Alqamah ibn Qays (rahimahullah) summed it
up in his final advice to his son as he was on his deathbed:
"O my son, if you ever feel the need to befriend and accompany men,
then accompany the one who protects you when you help him, adorns you
if you walk with him, and supplies you when your provisions run out.
Accompany the one who when you stretch forth your hands in goodness ,
he stretches his hand too, ifhe sees merit from you, he remembers it,
and if he sees bad from you, he remedies it. Accompany the one who
gives you when you ask , who steps up when you are silent, and who
consoles you when calamity overtakes you. Accompany the one who
believes you when you speak , entrusts you when you engage in work ,
and if you fall out, he prefers you to the fallout."
In such cases, it is said:
'Your real brother is he who stays with you
Who harms himself in order to help you
When hard times break you and scatter you
He becomes dispersed just so he can fix you'
But before all that, he mustbe knowledgeable after having attained
wara' (piety), so that you can benefit from his knowledge too. Luqman
said to his son, "O my son, sit with the scholars, crowd them with
your knees! For indeed, hearts come to life with words of wisdom just
like the dead earth comes back to life with the downpour of rain.""
- Mukhtasar Ihya 'Ulum al-Din, by Imam al-Ghazali./
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