~
I'm glad and grateful that I am ill right now, and that times are
hard. Does that sound crazy?
~
Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Messenger of
Allah (pbuh) said, "For any adversity a Muslim suffers, Allah erases
some of his sins, even though it may be no more than athorn pricking
him." (Related by Al-Bukhari).
Another version of this Hadith is also related by Al-Bukhari on the
authority of two of the Prophet's (pbuh) companions, namely, Abu Saeed
Al-Khudri and Abu Hurairah who quote him as saying: "Whatever befalls
a Muslim of exhaustion, illness, worry, grief, nuisance or trouble,
even thoughit may be no more than a prick of a thorn, earns him
forgivenessby Allah of some of his sins."
My father recently suffered a fall and broke his leg badly, and is now
in a rehab center. In my personal life, two moves and one divorce in
the last five years havemade it hard to retain friendships,and I find
myself feeling isolated. I've been through some painful personal
experiences. And these are hard times economically as well. So there's
a lot of stress in the household.
I do my best to love my daughter more than ever, to play with her, hug
and kiss her, and always remind her of Allah's barakah. I try to make
her world full of happiness, learning, and talks about Allah. I try to
never let her see me sweat, as they say. But once she's sound asleep
in bed, I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders like a
sack of stones.
So if by patiently enduring this illness and these hard times in
general, I will earn Allah's forgiveness for my sins, and maybe will
be blessed in ways that I do not see, then I am grateful.
One more hadith: Jabir ibn Abdullah narrated that Allah's Messenger
salallahu alayhi wasallam said, "On the Day of Resurrection, when
people who have suffered affliction are giventheir reward, those who
are healthy will wish their skins hadbeen cut to pieces with scissors
when they were in the world." (Al-Tirmidhi, 1570)
In other words, when people see how much reward is given to those who
suffered in life, they will wish that they had suffered terribly, in
the worst possible ways, so that it might become a cause of
forgiveness for them in the Hereafter.
SubhanAllah, whatever pain we suffer in this life is not in vain. It
is not wasted. We may cry and wince and groan over small pains,but
Allah sees our suffering and will compensate us more than we can
imagine, as long as we are patient and keep faith in Him. Allah the
Most High has a plan for us, and He is the best of planners. We must
have faith in Him and Hisplan for us.
Seeing the Good
Also, let us not be blind to the good things that have happened. I
think this is very important. All too often we get caught up in
ourlosses and dismiss some of Allah'squiet gifts and blessings that
have budded and opened up when we were hardly looking.
For example, I have always thought of myself as a writer at heart and
have been happiest when I was pursuing that calling. When I was single
I was obsessive about it. Even after a long day at work I would sit
down in front of the computer in my little San Francisco loft, and
write. After I got married and the responsibilities of family life
fell on my shoulders I neglected my writing. Lately, however, I find
myself writing daily and expressing ideas that have been growing in my
heart for decades. The words flow as if they have been bottled under
pressure, waiting for release. What a blessing!
In my teens I studied martial arts for some years. Life carried me in
different directions and I stoppedpracticing but I still thought of
myself as a martial artist, and keptmeaning to get back into it.
Finallyin my late thirties I realized that my dream was passing me by.
I got back into it and made a do-or-die commitment. Since then, with
the moves from the Bay Area to Panama City to El Valle to Fresno, it's
been a struggle to find teachers and training partners, but I have
persisted, in some cases creating my own training group out of
scratch. For the last year and a half, partly as a way ofdealing with
loneliness and stress,I plunged myself into an intensivestudy of the
arts.
Now I suddenly find myself entering this phase when my understanding
of the arts is expanding like a tidal wave. I seem to have moved
beyond rotememorization of techniques and Iam able to spontaneously
create combinations and visualize new possibilities.
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:-> :->
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