feelnegative about everything in their lives. There are ways we can
minimize these depressions, and steps we can take to ensure we don't
sabotage our relationships when we're feeling blue.
In my case, I go through regular periods of mini-depression every few
months. My mood will be utterly black, my mind filled with
self-critical thoughts: "I'm a failure, I'ma hypocrite, I have no real
friends, I've wasted my life…" But even in the depths of depression I
know that the mood will not last. One good night's sleep will restore
me to normal, Insha'Allah. So I keep my mouth shut and do not express
those negative thoughts to family or friends, because I know I will
regret it later if I do….
Does this happen to you? Ifso, then pay attention to your own
emotional cycles so that you know what to expect. Control yourself
when you're feeling down. Speak only what is good, or stay silent.
Let's be very clear: You should not ignore genuine problems in your
life. If something is missing or making you unhappy, workon it
Insha'Allah. I'm also not saying that you should remain silent about
real issues that you face. If you've got problems in your family, it's
important to communicate to resolve them. It's also good to talk to a
therapist or counselor.
But when you are depressed, your viewpoint becomes skewed, and it's
not necessarily representative of reality. Sowhen you have those dark
thoughts that say, "My life is worthless and I hate everyone," don't
express those to anyone except your therapist or counselor.Don't call
up your best friend and say, "You're not a true friend, you don't care
about me." That's not productive and will only destroy your
relationship.
When you're depressed, hold on to your lifeline with God, eat well and
get plenty of rest, and be patient until the mood passes Insha'Allah.
Try to fill your life with good things: people you care about, work
that matters, hobbies you love, good books to read, exercise youenjoy…
these good things provide a safety net when you're feeling blue.
For example, photographerand human rights activist Asmaa-Deanna Dee
says, "When I am feeling low and downtrodden I just find a quiet place
and sit alone with my favorite book (the Quran)! When I turn each of
its miraculous pages my heart begins to feel lighter and the world
around me brighter! The love, warmth and security of each word sets in
and it is in these very moments that I know for sure in my heart how
much Allah really loves me! Alhamdulillah! Subhanallah! Allahu Akbar!"
Also remind yourself of the good things in your life, and try to be
grateful for them. Do not look to those who have more than you, but
those who have less. Think of the times in your life when God has
helped you, guided you, and savedyou. He will do so again.
By the way, I don't get those mini-depressions as often anymore. I'm
not sure why, but it could be that I exercise every day now. Also, I
am active in the Muslim community, I write passionately about subjects
that are importantto me, and I have a daughter who I love… my life is
full of good things Alhamdulillah.
May your life also be full of good things.
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