Marriage Contract, - * Someone has proposed marriage to a girl, and she is asking whether she can meet him with a non-Muslim chaperone, because she is cut off from her family

Share ::-

I have a question concerning marriage.I am a sister who was born a Muslim but was not raised one.It wasnt until about last year that I embraced Islam.Now,there is a brother who has expressed interest in marrying me but the issue of me not having a wali has arisen(I have had no kind of contact with my father in over 5 years)I refuse to go into marriage talks with a brother or go through with anything without a wali.The brother has also said that it would be best if we met a few times before anything was finalised but I made it clear to him that I will not be meeting without an appropriate chaperone. I know that I could get an imam to act as my wali but as far as the chaperone goes, I am not too sure who I can have as one. Unfortunately, the area I live in right now, has almost no Muslims and most of the people I do speak to are not Muslim. In Sha Allah I will be in a better position Islamically in a few months but I am still not sure who could act as a chaperone. I told the brother that I would rather the chaperone be a Muslim but he told me that that was not the case and that I could ask anyone that I trusted even if they werent Muslim. I was wondering if it is permissable to have a non Muslim as a chaperone...I do not feel comfortable with the idea but he insists it is okay. I know I have made quite a few missteps in this entire process and achnowledge my errors and I ask Allah to forgive me for them.
-
Praise be to Allah.
We congratulate you for what Allah has bestowed upon you of guidance and enabling you to adhere to the rulings, teachings morals and manners of Islam. We ask Allah, may He be glorified, to help you to always adhere to the commands of Allah, may He be glorified, and to divert from you the evil of the devils among mankind and the jinn.
With regard to marriage to this person or anyone else, it is not permissible without a guardian (wali), because having a guardian is one of the conditions of the marriage contract being valid, as has been explained previously in fatwa no. 99696.
The fact that you have been cut off from your father for a while is not an excuse for marrying without a guardian. This is in addition to the fact that your forsaking your father for this length of time is something that is haraam; in fact it is a major sin because of what it involves of disobedience towards him and severing of family ties. We have previously explained that severing ties with one’s father and not upholding ties with him is haraam, no matter what the father may have done of bad treatment or falling short. So how about if the reason for that has to do with the child? Please see fatwa no. 87802.
Our advice to you is to hasten to get back in touch with your father, treat him kindly, and apologise for your shortcomings and bad behaviour. Then you can tell him about this suitor, and if he wishes he may do the marriage contract himself, so long as he is still a Muslim, or if he wishes he can appoint a proxy to do the marriage contract. As for bypassing your father and appointing someone else as your guardian, whether he is the imam of the mosque or someone else, this is not permissible. In fact some of the scholars were of the view that if a woman’s marriage contract is done by a more distant guardian, such as her brother, when the closer guardian, such as her father, is still alive, the marriage contract is not valid. This has been explained previously in fatwa no. 135233
So it is more likely that the marriage contract done by a non-mahram when the guardian is still alive is not valid.
With regard to what this young man is asking for of seeing you and meeting you before marriage, in principle this is something that is prescribed. This has been explained previously in fatwa no. 2572
But for you to go and let him see you on your own, this is not permissible, especially if that results in being alone together, because being alone with a woman is prohibited, as we have previously explained in fatwa no. 94019
Similarly, it is not permissible for you to go and meet him accompanied by a non-Muslim, because your interacting with a non-mahram non-Muslim is also not permissible, as it opens the door to a great deal of temptation and corruption.
Our advice to you in this situation is to hasten, first of all, to get in touch with your father and tell him about this matter, and wait for his opinion. If he agrees with you meeting this young man, then that will be by your father’s arrangement and in his presence, or in his company.
If that is not possible, then he may appoint one of your mahrams to take charge of the matter and be your chaperone.
If that is not possible either, it is permissible for you to meet him in the company of some trustworthy Muslims, and we suggest that it should be the imam of the mosque, or one of those in charge of the Islamic centre in your neighbourhood, and the contact or meetings between you and this young man after that should be arranged through this imam or the people in charge of the Islamic centre, because direct contact with him is a means that may lead to evil or mischief.
If the matter works out and the time comes for the marriage contract, then you should proceed along the lines explained above: either your father should come and do the marriage contract himself, or your father should appoint someone else to do the marriage contract for you in his stead, whether that proxy is one of your relatives or someone else.
Finally, we should draw your attention to an important matter, which is that it is stipulated that this young man who has proposed marriage to you should be a Muslim and chaste, because it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry anyone but a chaste Muslim man, as we have explained previously in fatwas no. 85335and 118098
More importantly, it is not permissible for her to marry a non-Muslim; this is haraam and is an invalid marriage, according to scholarly consensus.
And Allah knows best.

Marriage Contract, - * Reciting al-Faatihah when getting engaged

Share ::-

I am a young Muslim man who is about to get married. In the country where I am going to do the marriage contract, they do something that they call “Reciting al-Faatihah.” When a man wants to get married in our country, they recite al-Faatihah, and they invite some of the male relatives to that, and they offer them some sweets and drinks. Is reciting al-Faatihah part of the Sunnah, and if that is the case, what are the consequences of doing that?
-
Praise be to Allah.
Reciting al-Faatihah at the time of the marriage contract or engagement has nothing to do with the Sunnah; rather it is an innovation (bid‘ah). It is not permissible to single out any part of the Qur’an for any actions except on the basis of evidence.
Abu Shaamah al-Maqdisi said inal-Baa‘ith ‘ala Inkaar al-Bida‘ wa’l-Hawaadith(165):
It is not appropriate to single out times for acts of worship that were not singled out for such acts in Islamic teachings. People have no authority decide such matters; rather that is the prerogative of the Lawgiver. End quote.
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas were asked:
Is reciting al-Faatihah at the time when a man gets engaged to a woman an innovation (bid ‘ah)?
They replied:
Reciting al-Faatihah at the time of a man's proposal to a woman or at the time of his marriage contract with her is an innovation. End quote.
None of the rulings of the marriage contract come into effect as a consequence of reciting al-Faatihah. Reciting al-Faatihah does not mean that the marriage contract has been completed; rather what matters is the proposal and acceptance with the wali (woman’s guardian) and witnesses.
The Sunnah is to recite khutbat al-haajah at the time of the marriage contract.
It was narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) taught us Khutbat al-Haajah, (to be said) at weddings and on other occasions:
“Inna al-hamda Lillaahi nasta’eenahu wa nastaghfiruhu, wa na’oodhu bihi min shuroori anfusinaa. Man yahdih Illaahu falaa mudilla lahu wa man yudlil falaa haadiya lahu. Wa ashhadu an laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan ‘abduhu wa rasooluhu(Verily, all praise is to Allah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Him from the evil of our own souls. Whomsoever Allah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger).
‘ Yaa ayyuha’n-naas uttaqu rabbakum alladhi khalaqakum min nafsin waahidatin wa khalaqa minhaa zawjahaa wa baththa minhumaa rijaalan katheeran wa nisaa’an wa’ttaqu-Llaah alladhi tasaa’aloona bihi wa’l-arhaama inna Allaaha kaana ‘alaykum raqeeban(O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person, and from him He created his wife, and from them both He created many men and women, and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship) Surely, Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you).’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:1]
‘Yaa ayyuha’lladheena aamanu-ttaqu’Llaaha haqqa tuqaatihi wa laa tamootunna illaa wa antum muslimoon(O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam (as Muslims) with complete submission to Allah.)’ [Aal ‘Imraan 3:102]
‘Yaa ayyahu’lladheena aamanu-ttaqu’Llaaha wa qooloo qawlan sadeedan yuslih lakum a’maalakum wa yaghfir lakum dhunoobakum wa man yuti’ Allaaha wa rasoolahu fa qad faaza fawzan ‘azeeman(O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allah and fear Him, and speak (always) the truth). He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and will forgive you your sins. And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed achieved a great achievement (i.e. he will be saved from the Hell‑fire and will be admitted to Paradise)’ [al-Ahzaab 33:70, 71].”
Narrated by Abu Dawood (2118) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
The people have turned away from this Sunnah and adhered to this bid ‘ah. We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to bring the Muslims back to their religion in the best way.
And Allah knows best.