Engagment, Dought & clear, – * He wants to talk to a woman before he proposes marriage to her

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I have never spoken to her, and generally do not speak to women. We sometimes exchange salams.
How do I propose to her and approach her for marriage, since I am a practising muslim, and do not talk to sisters what is the best way?
Should I go and speak to her and get to know her first, without stepping beyond the boundaries of Allah? or shall I propose straight away?
I am afraid that because she does not really know me, and that we are from different cultural backgrounds I will be rejected instantly if I propose straight away without getting to know her first.
Whilst on the other hand I fear that I am doing something Un-islamic If I talk to her and get to know her.
I am in a difficult situation what is the best thing to do?
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Praise be to Allaah.
Note that it is permissible for a man to speak to a non-mahram woman, subject to important guidelines and conditions, the purpose of which is to prevent fitnah and sin. These conditions include :
1- That it is not possible to speak to her through one of her mahrams or through a woman who is his mahram.
2- That should be done without being alone with her (khulwah).
3- That should not go beyond permissible topics.
4- There should be no fitnah (temptation). If his desire is stirred by talking to her or if he starts to enjoy it, then it is haraam.
5- The woman should not speak in a soft manner,
6- The woman should be wearing full hijaab and be modest, or he should speak to her from behind a door. It is better if they speak on the phone, and even better if they communicate via letters or e-mail, for example.
7- That should not go beyond what is necessary.
If these conditions are met and there is no fear of fitnah, then it is o.k. And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said, in his answer on the ruling about young men speaking to young women on the telephone: “It is not permissible for young men to speak to young women because of the fitnah involved, unless the girl is engaged to the man who is talking to her, and they talk only about matters pertaining to their engagement; but it is preferable and safer for him to speak to her guardian about that.” (al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, 3/163, 164).
You have not proposed to this girl yet, so you have to be very careful and avoid exposing yourself to the causes of fitnah by taking all possible precautions to achieve your goal without approaching this girl.
The basis for this is two aayahs from the Book of Allaah:
1 – “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
[al-Ahzaab 33:32 – interpretation of the meaning]
2 – “And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts” [al-Ahzaab 33:53 – interpretation of the meaning]
Finally I would like to remind you that the Muslim’s standards when choosing a wife should be the standards encouraged by the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said: “Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466).
And I warn you against everything that may lead you into doing haraam things or bring you close to that, such as being alone with her, going out with her, etc. I ask Allaah to make it easy for you to find a woman who will help you to obey Him.

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Published by,
NAJIMUDEEN M - INDIA,
On behalf of " ISLAMIC RESEARCH INSTITUTIONS "
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Engagment, Dought & clear, – * He has contacted her several times saying that he wants to propose marriage, but she does not know anything about him

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I am a Muslimah, age XXX, from XXX. I accepted Islam 8 years ago when I was 16, Alhamdu lillah. For all of those years, I wanted so much to be a Muslim wife and mother, but since I live in a very small Muslim community (XXX), this did not happen.
A month ago I sent out my resume to find work in an Islamic school in a large Islamic community. The imam of an Islamic center in Florida left several messages on my answering machine. Days later, a brother called from the same masjid and said that he had lived in America for 10 years (he is originally from Saudi Arabia) and was looking for a wife. He is over thirty. He said that he wanted to marry me after he read my resume. (The imam gave him my resume since he knew he was looking for a wife.I was a college student of Islamic Studies.
I live with my mother who is a Muslim, but I have no male Muslim relatives. I do not know any Muslims in Florida either. This brother has continued to call me and talk to me while my mother is nearby and he also spoke with my mother and told her that he wanted her permission to marry me.
I want very much to get married In Sha' Allah, but I am very worried. I feel very vulnerable because I do not have a Muslim male relative who can check this brother out. Sadly I have heard of brothers who come to America and date women for years, or are involved in other bad activities. I am worried about this.
He has talked a lot about his love for Islam and da'wah. He says he is so happy that I have a Muslim mother and he wants me to support me if we get married and possibly move to Saudi Arabia. But I was worried also because he said that he has had a beard most of the time, but has on occasion shaved it off. This concerns me because I know keeping the beard is important and is Sunnah.
The most important quality for me in a husband is both his belief and practice of Islam. Books I have read on Islamic marriage say that you will never find a perfect spouse, but to look for their religiousness. How do I know if this brother is good or not? How do I know if he is really committed to islam? What should I look for? Please help, In Sha' Allah.
I just submitted a question and wanted to add something extra: the brother who wants to marry me has been calling me every day, sometimes twice a day. Also, he has never seen me either in person or in photograph, but still seems certain he wants to marry me.
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Praise be to Allaah.
The way in which this man has been behaving with you is to be considered wrong, especially his talking to you every day. You should avoid that and your mother should ask him to stop it. If he is sincere in his desire to marry you then he should behave in the manner prescribed in sharee’ah, by approaching your wali (guardian) to propose marriage to you. If you do not have a Muslim wali, then your wali is the Muslim ruler in the land where you live. If there is no Muslim ruler, then the wali is a person to whom other Muslims refer, or one who is influential among them, in the place where you live, such as the director of the Islamic center or the imaam or khateeb. He should check him out and find out how fit he is to be a good husband or otherwise.
With regard to the things that you should look for in a husband, you will find the answer to that under question no. 5202. You can also refer to question no. 389 and no. 2127 to find out the conditions of a wali for a Muslim woman.
We ask Allaah to make it easy for you to find a righteous man who will help you to obey your Lord… Ameen.

PUBLISHER:
-
Published by,
NAJIMUDEEN M - INDIA,
On behalf of " ISLAMIC RESEARCH INSTITUTIONS "
:
: