Saturday, December 17, 2016

Engagment, Dought & clear, - * Is it better to get engaged and do the marriage contract a year later, or to do the marriage contract straight away so that he will not fall into haraam?













Which is better from a shar’i and practical point of view – for fear of disobeying Allaah –
1. To get engaged for one year then do the marriage contract and consummate the marriage on the wedding night
2. To get engaged for a while then do the marriage contract three months before consummation
3. To do the marriage contract and then consummate the marriage one year later, with no engagement period?
What is your opinion of these options? Please note that there may be some overstepping the limit before the marriage contract, such as looking at one’s fiancée with desire, speaking some words of love and holding hands sometimes.
-
Praise be to Allaah.
The fiancé is a stranger (non-mahram) to his fiancée so it is not permissible for him to shake hands with her, look at her with desire, be alone with her or speak words of love to her, etc. Rather Islam only permits him to look at her when proposing marriage without desire or being alone with her, because that will lead to a lasting marriage, lest there be anything that he dislikes in her that he does not know about but that may be a cause of him being put off by her in the future.
What some people do, being lax with regard to their interactions with their fiancées and looking, being alone with them etc, is a great evil which should be avoided and warned against.
If the fiancée cannot control himself with regard to the things that we have mentioned, then it is better for him to do the marriage contract straightaway, or shortly after getting engaged, so that he will avoid falling into haraam. It is well known that the one who has done the marriage contract is a husband and everything that is permissible for husbands is permissible for him, but he should not have intercourse until his wife moves in with him, in accordance with custom and so as to avoid any negative consequences that may result if intercourse takes place before the consummation is announced.
There is nothing wrong with delaying consummation from the time of the contract, for a year or three months, depending on each partners’ circumstances. There is no specific rule in sharee’ah concerning this matter, rather it varies according to people’s circumstances. In the past the engagement, contract and consummation may all have taken place on one day, or it may have been done otherwise. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did the marriage contract with ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) when she was six years old and he consummated the marriage with her when she was nine.
What matters is that you should avoid falling into haraam. Hence the one who cannot control himself during the engagement period should hasten to do the marriage contract.
And Allaah knows best.





















PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Engagment, Dought & clear, - * It is not permissible to offer an explicit proposal of marriage to a woman who is observing ‘iddah following the death of her husband or divorce











My paternal aunt has been separated from her husband for four years and the official talaaq procedure is still not finished. A young man has come to propose marriage to her; is it permissible for her to recite al-Faatihah and sit with him without being alone with him during the months of ‘iddah?.
-
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
What we understand from your question is that your aunt’s divorce from her husband has not yet been completed, because you say “the official talaaq procedure is still not finished”. If that is the case, then your aunt is still married to her husband, so it is not permissible for anyone to propose marriage to her or to make an agreement with her to get married after her divorce, until the divorce has actually been completed.
Secondly:
If the divorce has been completed but it is a revocable divorce (first or second talaaq), then it is also not permissible during the ‘iddah period for anyone to propose marriage to her, either explicitly or implicitly, because the woman who has been divorced revocably still comes under the same rulings as a wife, and her husband has the right to take her back at any time he wants, so long as the ‘iddah has not ended.
Thirdly:
But if the divorce is not revocable (such as a third talaaq or talaaq in return for some compensation paid by the wife), then it is permissible to hint at a proposal during the ‘iddah, but it is not permissible to propose explicitly, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself”
[al-Baqarah 2:235]
This verse speaks of a woman who is observing ‘iddah following the death of her husband, but by analogy the scholars applied it to everyone who is observing ‘iddah and has no way of going back to her husband.
The different between an explicit proposal and an implicit one is that an explicit proposal is worded in such a way that it cannot mean anything but marriage, such as “I want to marry you” or “I will propose to you” etc.
As for the implicit proposal, it is worded in such a way that it may mean marriage or something else, such as “I am looking for a wife” and so on.
It is well known that people use the expression “reciting al-Fatihah” to refer to an explicit proposal. Based on this it is not permissible for anyone to propose to your aunt and recite a-Faatihah or for her to sit with him until the 'iddah has ended.
It should also be noted that reciting al-Faatihah at the time of engagement or marriage is not mentioned in the Sunnah.
The standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked: Is reciting al-Faatihah when a man proposes marriage to a woman an innovation (bid’ah)?
They replied:
Reciting al-Faatihah when a man proposes marriage to a woman or when doing the marriage contract with her is an innovation. End quote.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(19/146)
See:al-Sharh al-Mumti’(10/124-127);al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah(19/191).
And Allaah knows best.























PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI