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I was recently informed of this site, ma'shallah. What is the correct way to approach a sister whom you intend to marry ? I've known this sister my entire life, in the same regard as my own blood sister and recently it was brought to my attention that she would be a perfect candidate for marriage. I believe she respects me, but I am unsure if she can accept me as her spouse. How can I know ? And what is the correct, halal way to approach ? I have nothing but the best intentions, yet my entire life I always felt I would marry her, yet out of respect I have never approached. My father and aunt (my mother has passed, allah yarham ha) are very fond of her and encourage me to pursue her, since they know her and her family extremly well.
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Praise be to Allaah.
If a man feels that his heart is inclined towards a particular woman, he should follow the way that is permitted in Islam, which is marriage. If a person intends to marry a woman, he has to propose marriage to her through her wali (guardian), who is her father if he is alive, or one of her other close relatives. It is not permissible for a man to propose marriage to a woman who is not his mahram through ways that are not permissible according to sharee’ah, such as getting to know her or meeting her frequently or getting in touch with her often and speaking on the phone; these are means through which Iblees causes people to sin and which lead to regrettable consequences. It is not permissible for a person to justify his relationship with a girl by saying that she is like his sister and other silly excuses. You have to follow the proper channels as prescribed in Islam to marry this woman. When you propose marriage, it is o.k. if you try to win her over by giving her a gift through her wali. We ask Allaah to give us and you strength and to keep us away from haraam things. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
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Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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What is the Islamic ruling on marrying someone who has hepatitis B, knowing that this disease is transmitted sexually and through the blood, and may also be transmitted via saliva (although there is no medical consensus on the latter)? The question here is about a man who has the virus but his liver is healthy, i.e., he is a carrier of the virus only, which means that the virus is hidden in some tissues such as the liver and it is not multiplying, but the possibility that it may revive and become active remains constant. The woman whom he wants to marry has been vaccinated against this disease previously, and the doctor says that there is no danger to her from the virus in this case, and Allaah knows best. If marriage is not forbidden in this case, we hope that you can advise the sick person as to how he should speak about this disease when he proposes marriage; for example, when exactly should he tell the woman and what should he say?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
The one who is a carrier of hepatitis B or has the disease may get married to a healthy woman or a woman who is infected with this disease, if she accepts that after he tells her about his situation.
It is not permissible for him to get married unless he tells her about his sickness, because concealing that is deceit which is haraam. If he conceals it, then his wife finds out about that, she has the right to annul the marriage.
It is well known medically that most people who get hepatitis B can resist it and expel it from the body, but there is a proportion of people, between five and 10%, whose bodies cannot get rid of it, so they become carriers of the disease, and in a small number the disease may develop into cirrhosis of the liver, cancer of the liver, liver failure or death. In addition to that, in 10% of those infected, the disease may become chronic and the person becomes a carrier of the virus and is able to spread the sickness to others.
The carrier of the virus usually does not have any signs or symptoms of sickness, as his liver enzymes appear normal, but he remains infected for a number of years or maybe for the rest of his life, and he is able to transmit the virus to others. Most carriers of the virus do not suffer from any real problems with hepatitis B. Although they have good health, a few of them may be more susceptible than others to chronic liver infection, cirrhosis and tumours of the liver. The tumours usually grow in people who have developed cirrhosis of the liver.
In order to prevent spread of this virus via carriers of the virus, it is essential to do the following:
1. He should not engage in sexual activity unless the other party has immunity or has had the necessary vaccinations against this virus; otherwise he must wear a condom.
2. He should not donate blood or plasma or any part of his body to others, or share razor blades, toothbrushes or nail clippers.
3. He should not swim in swimming pools if he has any wounds on his skin.
4. His family members should be tested and vaccinations should be given to those who are not carriers of the virus and who do not have any immunity.
End quote.
See the articleAmraad al-Kabd wa Zaraa’at al-Kabd, by Dr. Ibraaheem ibn Hamad al-Tareef.
As to how to tell the woman he wants to propose to do about that, he should explain the facts to her at the time of proposal, and tell her that he is healthy and well, but tests have shown the presence of this virus, and the doctor has told him that she will not be harmed because she has been vaccinated against it. If she agrees to marry him, then all well and good, and if she refuses and prefers to be safe and not take the risk, then she may do that.
And Allaah knows best.
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