Names and Attributes of Allaah, Dought & clear, - * The Salafi way of interpreting the divine attributes and refuting the pantheistic interpretation of the hadith “I will be his hearing”

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Allah, may He be exalted, says in the hadith qudsi: “So when I love him I will be his hearing with which he hears, his vision with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks.” How can we avoid falling into the pantheistic interpretation of the hadith, and what is the way of Ahl as-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa‘ah in dealing with the verses that speak of the divine attributes? I hope that you will explain, because some of those who deny the divine attributes have tried to cast aspersions on the Salafi way of interpreting the divine names and attributes, based on the claim that taking the text literally will cause us to fall into the false belief of incarnation (hulool).
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Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
The way of Ahl as-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa‘ah with regard to understanding the divine attributes is that every attribute of their Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, that they affirm, they affirm it on the basis of a text from the Book of Allah or the Sunnah of His Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), whilst confirming that Allah, may He be exalted, is not like His creation in any way, because He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“There is nothing like unto Him” [ash-Shoora 42:11]. This verse contains a refutation of the idea of likening Allah to His creation, and the following words (interpretation of the meaning),“and He is the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing”form a refutation of those who deny the divine attributes and believe that sharing a description or attribute means that the divine and the human are alike.
In the answer to question no. 155206, we discussed some useful principles with regard to the names and attributes of Allah. In the answer to question no. 34630you will find a detailed discussion of the meaning of belief in the divine names and attributes, and four points to avoid, namely distorting, denying, likening Allah to His creation, and discussing how the divine attributes are. If anyone falls into one of these, he is not believing in the divine names and attributes as he should.
In his bookal-Qawaa‘id al-Muthla fi Sifaat Allah wa Asmaa’ihi al-Husna, Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) discussed some useful guidelines concerning the attributes of Allah, may He be exalted. You can find his book via the following link:
http://www.ib nothaimeen.co m/all/books /article_16822.s html
Shaykh al-‘Alawi ibn ‘Abd al-Qaadir al-Saqqaaf (may Allah preserve him) mentioned twenty-one guidelines for understanding the attributes of Allah, may He be exalted, in his bookSifaat Allah ‘azza wa jall al-Waaridah fi’l-Kitaab wa’s-Sunnah. You can check this book on his website via the following link:
http://dorar.ne t /book.asp?boo k_id=2939
The hadith mentioned by the questioner is part of a hadith that was narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Verily Allah, may He be exalted, says: ‘Whosoever shows enmity to a close friend of Mine, I shall declare war on him. My slave draws not close to Me with anything more loved by Me than the obligatory religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My slave continues to draw close to Me with supererogatory works so that I will love him. So when I love him I will be his hearing with which he hears, his vision with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to seek refuge in Me, I would surely grant him it.’’ Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6137).
We should point out that it is the pantheists (al-ittihaadiyyah) who quote this hadith as evidence for their false belief, and not those who believe in incarnation (al-hulooliyyah). For information on the difference between pantheism and incarnation, please see the answer to question no. 147639. They said that this hadith is indicative of the union between the Creator and the created being, if the latter draws close to Allah, may He be exalted, by doing obligatory religious duties, whereupon the slave – we seek refuge with Allah from such notions – becomes part of the essence of God, and hears with the hearing of Allah and sees with His vision! In other words, the Creator becomes one with the created being, and they become one and the same! Undoubtedly this is kufr (disbelief) that puts one beyond the pale of Islam. The hadith that they quoted as evidence is in fact evidence against them, because it affirms that there are two separate entities, namely the Creator and the created being, and highlights the difference between them; it affirms that there is a worshipper and an object of his worship, and highlights the difference between them; it affirms that there is a lover and a beloved, one who asks and One who responds. There is nothing in it to indicate that the two become one.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The heretics and pantheists quote it as evidence for their belief, because Allah says (in this hadith qudsi): “I will his hearing, his vision, his hand and his foot.” But the hadith constitutes evidence against them in numerous ways, including the following:
· Allah says: “Whoever shows enmity to a close friend of Mine is declaring war on Me.” Thus it affirms that there is someone who is challenging Allah, and a close friend of Allah who is someone other than the challenger, and in it Allah, may He be glorified, affirms for Himself that He has one who is close to Him and one who is challenging Him.
· He says: “My slave draws not close to Me with anything more loved by Me than the obligatory religious duties I have enjoined upon him.” This affirms that there is a slave who seeks to draw close to his Lord, and there is a Lord Who enjoined those obligatory religious duties.
· He says: “and My slave continues to draw close to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him”. Thus He affirms that there is one who seeks to draw close and one to Whom closeness is sought; there is one who loves and a beloved who is distinct from him. All of this contradicts their view that all existence is one.
· He says: “So when I love him I will be his hearing with which he hears, his vision with which he sees…” Allah grants these things to His slave after He loves him, but in the view of the pantheists this is the case both before and after He loves him.
End quote fromMajmoo‘ al-Fataawa(2/371, 372)
And he (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Then Allah says: “Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to seek refuge in Me, I would surely grant him it.” Thus He differentiated between the one who asks and the One who is asked, between the one who seeks refuge and the One who grants him it. He describes the slave as asking of his Lord and seeking refuge with Him.
This hadith combines many sublime meanings.
End quote fromMajmoo‘ al-Fataawa(17/134)
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said, in his commentary on the hadith, explaining its meaning in different ways:
Whatever the case, the argument of the pantheists cannot be based on it, and neither can that of those who believe that everything that exists is one, because in the latter part of the hadith, Allah says: “Were he to ask [something] of Me,… were he to seek refuge in Me”. It is as if this is a clear refutation of them.
End quote fromFath al-Baari(11/345)
Imam ash-Shawkaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said, after quoting the words of Ibn Hajar:
With regard to what Ibn Hajar pointed out of this hadith being a refutation of some misguided people regarding the meaning of the words “Were he to ask [something] of Me,… and were he to seek refuge in Me”, this means that there is one who asks and one who is asked, one who seeks refuge and One in whom refuge is sought.
Perhaps Ibn Hajar did not examine this hadith and ponder its meaning as he should have. If he had pondered its meaning, he would not have limited his argument to what he mentioned about asking and seeking refuge; rather the entire hadith is a refutation of their view. The words “Whoever shows enmity to a close friend of Mine” are a refutation of their view, because they imply the existence of one who shows enmity and one to whom enmity is shown and one for whose sake that believer was taken as an enemy. The meaning implies the existence of someone who is declaring war and someone against whom war is declared, the existence of someone who seeks to draw close and One to whom closeness is sought; a worshipper and One who is worshipped, a lover and One who is loved – and so on until the end of the hadith.
All of it is a refutation of the pantheists who base their argument on it, without realising that the entire hadith is a refutation of their argument. In fact, the issue becomes even clearer when we examine the words of Allah in this hadith: “I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about (taking in death) the soul of the believer.” This implies the existence of One who hesitates and one concerning whom there is hesitation; one who does an action and one to whom the action is done. It implies the existence of a soul concerning whom there is hesitation, which is the soul of the believing slave, and the existence of One who is hesitant, namely the One who will take his soul; the existence of one who dislikes death, who is the believer, and One who hates to upset him, who is the Lord, may He be glorified.
In conclusion, any rational person would realise that the view of the pantheists is false, and there is no need to look hard for evidence that they are wrong. The reason for their confusion is the influence of those who believed in dualism. They believed that there were two gods, a god of good and a god of evil; the god of good was light and the god of evil was darkness, and they regarded them as the original of all existing beings. If the light prevails, a person will be enlightened, but if the darkness prevails, then a person sinks in darkness.
They did not realise that this view that is based on kufr (disbelief) would refute their argument from the outset, for darkness is not light.
End quote fromQitr al-Waliy ‘ala Hadith al-Waliyby ash-Shawkaani (419-421)
And Allah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Names and Attributes of Allaah, Dought & clear, - * Ruling on describing the Qur’an as the eternal word of Allah

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What is the ruling on describing the Qur’an as the eternal word of Allah?
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Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
The Holy Qur’an is the word of Allah, may He be exalted, its words, letters and meanings. It originated from Him and will return to Him. It was uttered by Allah, may He be exalted, and heard from Him by Jibreel (peace be upon him), who brought it down to Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). Allah, may He be glorified, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“That (this) is indeed an honourable recital (the Noble Qur’an).
In a Book well-guarded (with Allah in the heaven i.e. Al-Lauh Al-Mahfooz).
Which (that Book with Allah) none can touch but the purified (i.e. the angels)”
[al-Waaqi‘ah 56:77-80]
“Alif Laam Meem. (These letters are one of the miracles of the Qur’an, and none but Allah (Alone) knows their meanings.)
The revelation of the Book (this Qur’an) is from the Lord of the Alameen (mankind, jinns and all that exists) in which there is no doubt”
[as-Sajdah 32:1,2]
“The revelation of this Book (the Qur’an) is from Allah, the All-Mighty, the All-Wise”
[az-Zumar 39:1].
The Qur’an comes under the heading of His words or speech, which is one of His attributes. Therefore whoever says that it is created is a disbeliever. This is the belief of Ahl as-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa‘ah, in contrast to the beliefs of deviant groups.
At-Tahhaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his famous bookal-‘Aqeedah:
The Qur’an is the word of Allah, which originated from Him – without discussing how it was spoken. He sent it down to His Messenger by means of revelation (wahy). The believers bear witness to its revelation. They are certain that it is the actual words of Allah. It is not created like the words of human beings. Whoever hears it and thinks that it is the words of human beings is a disbeliever; Allah has condemned him, criticised him and warned him of hellfire as He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“I will cast him into Hell-fire” [al-Muddaththir 74:26]. Because Allah has given the warning of hellfire to those who say“ ‘This is nothing but the word of a human being’”[al-Muddaththir 74:25], we know with certainty that it is the words of the Creator of human beings, and is not like the words of human beings. End quote.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Part of the speech of Allah, may He be glorified, is the Holy Qur’an, which is the clear Book of Allah, His strong rope and straight path, the revelation of the Lord of the Worlds, which was brought down by the Trustworthy Spirit (ar-Rooh al-Ameen, i.e., Jibreel) to the heart of the leader of the Messengers, in a clear Arabic tongue, revealed not created. It originated from Him and will return to Him. It consists of clear soorahs and clear verses, letters and words. Whoever recites it clearly and correctly will have for each letter ten hasanaat. It has a beginning and an end, and consists of parts (ajza’) and smaller sections. It is recited on people’s lips and is memorised in their hearts, listened to and written in the Mus-hafs. It has both clear and ambiguous verses, that which abrogates and that which is abrogated, general and specific words, commands and prohibitions.
“Falsehood cannot come to it from before it or behind it (it is) sent down by the All-Wise, Worthy of all praise (Allah )”
[Fussilat 41:42]
“Say: ‘If the mankind and the jinns were together to produce the like of this Qur’an, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they helped one another’”
[al-Isra’ 17:88].
It is this Arabic book of which those who disbelieve say:“ ‘We will never believe in this Qur’an’” [Saba’ 34:31]and some of them said:“ ‘This is nothing but the word of a human being’”[al-Muddaththir 74:25], so Allah, may He be glorified, said:“I will cast him into Hell-fire” [al-Muddaththir 74:26].
There is no difference of opinion among the Muslims that whoever rejects a soorah, verse, word or letter of the Qur’an on which there is agreement is a disbeliever, and this offers definitive proof that it consists of letters. End quote.
Lam‘at al-I‘tiqaad(p. 22-28)
What is meant by the words of Ahl as-Sunnah, “it originated from Him”, is that Allah, may He be exalted, uttered it, so its original appearance and its beginning was from Allah, may He be exalted.
What is meant by their words, “it will return to Him”, is that it will be taken away from people’s hearts and from the Mus-hafs at the end of time, and not one verse of it will remain in people’s hearts or in the Mus-hafs, as is mentioned in a number of reports.
Al-Haafiz Diya’ ad-Deen al-Maqdisi (d. 643) wrote an essay on this topic entitledIkhtisaas al-Qur’an bi’l-Awd ila ar-Rahmaan.
The innovators have many other views that are contrary to what is indicated by sheer common sense and the soundly narrated texts concerning this matter, which you may check and learn the scholars’ refutations thereof in the books of Ahl as-Sunnah that deal with this topic, including books that deal specifically with refutation of the innovators’ views on the divine attribute of speech, such asal-Burhaan fi Mas’alat al-Qur’anandHikaayat al-Munaazarah fi’l-Qur’an, both of which are by Muwaffaq ad-Deen Ibn Qudaamah, the author ofal-Mughni(may Allah have mercy on him). Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) also wrote several books and essays having to do with the issue of the divine attribute of speech. See vol. 12 of hisMajmoo‘ al-Fataawa; one of his most important books on that topic isat-Tis‘eeniyyah, which is a refutation of the Ash‘aris’ innovated views concerning the divine attribute of speech, based on approximately ninety points.
With regard to contemporary books, this issue has been dealt with specifically in a book by Shaykh ‘Abdullah al-Judayyi‘ entitledal-‘Aqeedah as-Salafiyyah fi Kalaam Rabb al-Bariyyah, which is a useful book on this topic.
Secondly:
Describing the Qur’an as eternal or describing the words of Allah, may He be exalted, as eternal, may be interpreted in two ways:
The first interpretation is:
that it is not created, as mentioned above, and that attribute of speech, in the case of Allah, may He be exalted, is eternal, for He speaks whenever He wills, however He wills, to whiomever of His slaves He wills. This is sound and correct, and this is what is meant by those of Ahl as-Sunnah who give the description of eternal to the Qur’an or to the divine attribute of speech in general.
Among those who used this description was Abu’l-Qaasim al-Laalkaa’i in his bookSharh Usool I‘tiqaad Ahl as-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa‘ah.
He said (2/224):
What we may understand from various reports narrated from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is that the Qur’an is one of the eternal attributes of Allah.
Then he said (2/227):
There are reports of consensus among the Sahaabah that the Qur’an is not created.
Another scholar who used this description was Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) inLam‘at al-I‘tiqaad, where he said (15):
One of the attributes of Allah, may He be exalted, is that of speech, and He speaks eternal words that are heard from Him by whoever He wills of His creation. Moosa (peace be upon him) heard from Him without any intermediary. Jibreel (peace be upon him) also heard from Him, as did other angels and Messengers to whom He gave leave. Allah, may He be exalted, will speak to the believers in the hereafter and they will speak to Him; He will give them permission to visit Him. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and to Moosa (Moses) Allah spoke directly”
[al-Nisa’ 4:164]
“(Allah) said: ‘O Moosa (Moses) I have chosen you above men by My Messages, and by My speaking (to you)’”
[al-A‘raaf 7:144]
“to some of them [the Messengers] Allah spoke (directly)”
[al-Baqarah 2:253]
“It is not given to any human being that Allah should speak to him unless (it be) by Inspiration, or from behind a veil”
[ash-Shoora 42:51]
“And when he came to it (the fire), he was called by name: ‘O Moosa (Moses)!
‘Verily! I am your Lord! So take off your shoes, you are in the sacred valley, Tuwa’”
[Ta-Ha 20:11-12]
“ ‘Verily! I am Allah! La ilaha illa Ana (none has the right to be worshipped but I), so worship Me’”
[Ta-Ha 20:14].
It is not possible that anyone could have said these words except Allah… End quote.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The early generations said: The Qur’an is the word of Allah that was revealed and is not created. And they said that He speaks when He wills. Then they explained that the words of Allah are eternal, meaning that the divine attribute of speech is eternal.
Not one of them said that any particular words of His are eternal, and not one of them said that the Qur’an is eternal.
Rather they said that it is the word of Allah; it was revealed and is not created.
As Allah uttered the Qur’an by His will, the Qur’an is His word, and it was revealed from Him and not created, yet despite that it is not eternal as Allah is eternal, even though Allah has the attribute of speech and speaks whenever He wills. So the attribute of speech is eternal (and part of His essence).
Whoever understands the words of the early generations and sees the subtle differences between the various statements will no longer have any doubt about these difficult issues that many people are confused about.
End quote fromMajmoo‘ al-Fataawa(12/54)
And he (may Allah have mercy on him) also said:
The word of Allah is what Allah uttered Himself and spoke by His will and power. It is not something created that is distinct from Him; rather it exists with Him in His essence, even though He uttered it by His might and will, and it does not exist independently of His might and will.
The early generations said: Allah, may He be exalted, speaks when He wills. If it is said that the words of Allah are eternal, in the sense that speech is His eternal attribute and in the sense that His words are not created, and in the sense that His words are not a concept that exists in His essence – rather Allah speaks whenever He wills – then this is correct.
Not one of the early generations said that these particular words are eternal. Rather they used to say: the Qur’an is the word of Allah, revealed and not created; it originated with Him and will return to Him.
Not one of them said that the Qur’an is eternal, and they did not say that His words are a concept that exists in His essence. And they did not say that the letters of the Qur’an, or its letters and sounds, are eternal and exist in the essence of Allah, even though the letters themselves may be uttered by Allah whenever He wills. Rather they said that the letters of the Qur’an are not created, and they denounced those who said that Allah created the letters.
End quote fromal-Fataawa(12/566-567)
The second interpretation is:
that the Qur’an is a concept, or a concept and letters, that Allah uttered from eternity, then never uttered it after that. This is one of the innovations of the Ash‘aris and those who agreed with them among the Islamic philosophers (ahl al-kalaam), by which they sought to avoid falling into the innovation of the Mu‘tazilah and Jahamis who held the view that the Qur’an was created.
Whoever says that the Qur’an is eternal, meaning it literally, his understanding is flawed. Moreover, the way they presented this idea is very general and there is no report from the early generations to support it.
Because of this false meaning that may be indicated by this general wording, and because it is not reported or found in any report from the early generations, what we think most likely to be the case is that the word eternal should not be used to describe the Qur’an. Rather we should say concerning it what the early generations said: the Qur’an is the word of Allah, not created.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The followers of the salaf (early generations) say: The word of Allah is eternal, that is: He has the attribute of speech and speaks whenever He wills. They do not say that a specific word is eternal, such as His call to Moosa and the like.
But these people [meaning the Ash‘aris and those who agreed with them] believe that the Qur’an and all the words of Allah are eternal, and that Allah does not speak by His will. Then they differed:
Some of them say that what is eternal is one concept, which is all the meanings of the Torah, Gospel and Qur’an; and that if the Torah is expressed in Arabic, it becomes Qur’an, and if the Qur’an is expressed in Hebrew, it becomes Torah. They said: The Arabic Qur’an was not spoken by Allah; rather what happened was that either He created it in some physical entities, or it was produced by Jibreel or Muhammad, so it is the words of that Messenger, which is a reflection of that one concept that exists in the divine essence, which is all the meanings of the words.
Some of them said: rather the eternal Qur’an is letters, or letters and sounds, which are eternal and existed in the divine essence from eternity to eternity.… When Allah spoke to Moosa or to the angels, or when He will speak to people on the Day of Resurrection, He is not speaking words that He utters by His will when He speaks them; rather He creates some understanding in (the human or angel) so that he may understand those eternal words that are part of the essence of Allah from eternity to eternity.
According to them, He was and is still saying (interpretation of the meaning):“O Adam! Dwell you and your wife in Paradise” [al-Baqarah 2:35], “O Nooh (Noah)! Come down (from the ship) with peace from Us and blessings on you” [Hood 11:48], “O Iblees (Satan)! What prevents you from prostrating yourself to one whom I have created with Both My Hands” [Saad 38:75]and so on….
And he [Ibn Taymiyah] examined these views further in several other places.
The point we are trying to prove is that no one can transmit either of these two views from any of the early generations, meaning the Sahaabah and Taabi‘een, and those who followed them in guidance, and all the imams (leading scholars) of the Muslims who are known for their knowledge and religious commitment, who are well respected by the ummah, whether at the time of Ahmad ibn Hanbal, or at the time of ash-Shaafa‘i, or at the time of Abu Haneefah, or before that. The first one to introduce this idea was Abu Muhammad ‘Abdullah ibn Sa‘eed ibn Kilaab.
Al-Fataawa(17/85)
Based on that, whoever says that the Qur’an is eternal, or the word of Allah is eternal, in the sense of the fist interpretation, which is that the Qur’an and all the words of Allah are revelation from Him, and not created, yet it is subject to His will, this is valid, although it is preferable and more prudent to limit it to the wording and phrases narrated from the early generations, that avoid being too general and being subject to false interpretations.
But if he means the second interpretation, which says that Allah’s words are not subject to His will, then this is false, and the words used are also innovation (bid‘ah).
See also:Minhaaj as-Sunnah an-Nabawiyyahby Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) – (5/419-421)
And Allah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Engagment, Dought & clear, - * Meeting one’s fiancée to discuss wedding details

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I have proposed marriage to a girl and she and her wali (guardian) have accepted. Is it permissible for me to meet her in her house, in the presence of her mother and sisters but without her mahram, to discuss some of the details of the wedding and to decide on the mahr (dowry)?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Islam allows the man to look at his fiancée and speak to her about necessary matters to do with the marriage, and the man is encouraged to look at his fiancée when thinking of proposing, because that will bring their hearts closer together and generate the love and compassion that are the aim of the marriage.
It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Look at her, for that will help bring your hearts together.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1087); he said: this is a hasan hadeeth.
What it means is that it helps to create love and harmony between you, because if you marry her after having gotten to know her, in most cases there will be no regrets.
See:Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi.
There is no sin on you if you sit with your fiancée in order to work out some details of the wedding, but you should not be alone with her, so one of her mahrams or her mother should sit with you, and there is nothing wrong with that in sha Allaah.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked the following question inMajmoo’ al-Fataawa(20/429):
I love a girl very much and she also loves me. I have seen her only once, and I started to speak to her by phone within respectable limits, and we agreed to get married. Most of my conversations with her have to do with married life and the mutual understanding between spouses that is necessary, and how a wife should treat her husband and look after his house, and so on. Is it permissible for me to speak to her if she calls me, or is that not permissible?
He (may Allaah have mercy on him) replied:
If a man wants to propose marriage to a woman, it is permissible for him to speak with her and look at her without being alone. When a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to ask his opinion, he said: “Have you looked at her?” He said: No. He said: “Go and look at her.” And he said: “When one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, let him do so.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (1783).
Looking is more serious than speaking, so if the conversation has to do with the marriage and where they will live, and how married life should be so that he will know whether she is familiar with these issues, there is nothing wrong with that if he wants to propose marriage to her. But if he does not want to propose marriage to her, then he has no right to do that. So long as he wants to marry her, it is permissible for him to talk to her about the engagement and about that which will encourage him to marry her, and she may do likewise, so long as they are not alone together; rather it should be done from a distance and in the presence of her father, brother or mother etc.
And Allaah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI