Plural marriage and fair treatment of co-wives, Dought & clear, - * She wants to marry a man but the law does not permit plural marriage. What should she do?

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I am a recent convert to Islam. While I was studying Islam, but before I converted, I was dating a married Muslim man. We fell in love and we are still currently in a relationship. I feel extremely guilty!! I love this man, and he loves me. I understand that I will have to end my relationship with this man if we cannot find a an answer to our problem. He is feeling guilty just as much as I am. He has asked me to marry him but since he is already married and we are living in a country where polygamy is not allowed. Is there any wasy that we can have an Islamic marriage that is recognixed my Islam yet not recognized by the State, so that he does not get in trouble.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: we praise Allaah for having guided you to Islam, and we ask Him to increase you in guidance and piety (taqwa).
Secondly: Islam permits plural marriage, even if you are in a country where it is not allowed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four”
[al-Nisa’ 4:3]
According to the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari from Ibn ‘Abbaas, the best of this ummah are those who have most wives. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) practiced plural marriage, as did the Rightly-Guided Caliphs. There is scholarly consensus on this matter. The sister who is asking this question could marry this man in the presence of her wali (guardian) and two witnesses, and announce the marriage, so as to fulfil the necessary conditions of marriage. It is not essential for that to be registered officially. It is also not necessary for the first wife to know. This is if marriage if possible. If it is not possible then our advice to the sister is to forget about this man, so long as the matter is difficult. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty)”
[al-Talaaq 65:2]
“But if they separate (by divorce), Allaah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty”
[al-Nisa’ 4:130]
It may be better not to marry this man, and Allaah may cause her to marry another man. She is right when she says, “I understand that I will have to end my relationship with this man if we cannot find an answer to our problem.”
So she should focus her heart on worship, and learn the rulings of Islam and strengthen her faith and beseech Allaah to guide her and make her steadfast.






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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Plural marriage and fair treatment of co-wives, Dought & clear, - * He borrowed from his wife and wants to take a second wife

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I have been married to my husband for 11 years and in that time he has borrowed from me 40,000 SR which he has signed a paper of debt with me to pay it back. My question is, he has been talking about getting married which I know costs alot and I would like my money returned if he has the means to get married he should repay me first. What is my right in this?.
Praise be to Allaah.
There is nothing to stop a wife asking for her money back from her husband. This is a right that belongs to her. But we would like to point out a few things.
1 – A wife should not make things hard for her husband just because he wants to take a second wife. The basic principle is that people – above all husbands and wives – should cooperate in righteousness and piety, and should not make things difficult for a person who seeks something that is permissible.
2 – The owner of the money should not ask for it back from a debtor who is in difficulty. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if the debtor is in a hard time (has no money), then grant him time till it is easy for him to repay”
[al-Baqarah 2:280]
3 – It is not permissible for a debtor who has the money to pay off his debt to delay paying it off. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The rich person who delays paying back a loan is a wrongdoer.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2166; Muslim, 1564.
4 – We do not think that the husband should use his wife’s money to take a second wife, because this is upsetting to her. He has to pay back the money to his wife, then if he has enough left to get married, he may do so, otherwise he should not.
And Allaah knows best.
















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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M