Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * Ruling on reading erotic stories with one’s spouse

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It is permissible to read erotic stories with one's spouse, with the aim of increasing one’s pleasure?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Reading erotic stories, even if that is only with one's spouse, involves many evils including the following:
1 – These stories are acquired either by purchasing them or borrowing them. That is not permitted because it encourages those who print them, publish them and distribute them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):“but do not help one another in sin and transgression” [al-Maa'idah 5:2].
2 – These stories are only written by immoral and promiscuous people. Most of those who write them are kuffaar who pay no attention to religion, morals or manners in what they write. Reading them is a means to propagate their deviant ways and bad customs among the people, whether they realize it or not. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The likeness of a good companion and a bad one is that of the one who carries musk and the one who works the bellows. As for the one who carries musk, either he will give you some or you will buy some from him, or you will notice a nice smell from him. And as for the one who works the bellows, either he will burn your clothes or you will notice an unpleasant smell from him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5534; Muslim, 2628.
Al-Haafiz said: This hadeeth indicates that it is forbidden to sit with those whose company will harm your religious or worldly interests.Fath al-Baari, 4/410.
3 – These stories contain lies and exaggerations, and describe imaginary events which affect the reader in negative ways and make each partner less content with the other.
4 – There is no guarantee that these stories will not fall into the hands of children whose morals will be corrupted and they will be led astray or they will think badly of their parents. The parents may not be aware of that, but they will bear the burden of their children’s sin when regret will be of no avail.
For these reasons and others it is not permissible to read these stories at all. There is sufficient in what is permissible so that we have no need of that which is haraam; what Allaah has permitted gives sufficient pleasure which Allaah is pleased with and by means of which the individual and the society are protected from the spread of evil and immorality. And Allaah knows best.

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Kind Treatment of Spouses, - Dought & clear, - * Ruling on kissing one’s wife in front of the children

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What amount of affection can a husband and wife display in front of their children . Can they hug, kiss lightly, hold hands in front of their children?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The Islamic ruling on this matter is as follows:
Firstly: If this hugging and kissing is of the type that takes place between husband and wife when they are alone, then it is not permissible to do it in front of the children whether they are little or big. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Let your slaves and slave‑girls, and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence) on three occasions: before Fajr (morning) Salaah (prayer), and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the ‘Isha’ (night) Salaah (prayer). (These) three times are of privacy for you; other than these times there is no sin on you or on them to move about, attending to each other. Thus Allaah makes clear the Ayaat (the Verses of this Qur’aan, showing proofs for the legal aspects of permission for visits) to you. And Allaah is All‑Knowing, All‑Wise.
59. And when the children among you come to puberty, then let them (also) ask for permission, as those senior to them (in age). Thus Allaah makes clear His Ayaat (Commandments and legal obligations) for you. And Allaah is All‑Knowing, All‑Wise”
[al-Noor 24:58-59]
Ibn Katheer said: Here servants and children are commanded not to intrude upon the adults of the household at these times, lest the man be in a position of intimacy with his wife and so on. (3/401).
If children are obliged to seek permission lest they see something of that which takes place between husband and wife, then what about doing such things openly in a deliberate manner? Look at the etiquette that was observed in the household of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and how the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) transmitted the details of his life.
The following was narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning that:
It was narrated from Kurayb the freed slave of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas told him that he stayed overnight with Maymoonah, the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who was his maternal aunt. He said: I lay my head on the end of the pillow and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his wife placed their heads on its side. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) slept until midnight, or shortly before or after, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) woke and started to rub the sleep from his eyes with his hands. Then he recited the last ten verses of Aal ‘Imraan…
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4571; Muslim, 763.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This indicates that it is permissible for a man to sleep alongside his wife without being intimate with her in the presence of one of her mahrams, even if he has reached the age of discernment. Al-Qaadi said: In some versions of this hadeeth it says: Ibn ‘Abbaas said: I stayed overnight with my maternal aunt one night when she was menstruating. Even though the isnaad of this version is not saheeh, it contains a very interesting idea, because Ibn ‘Abbaas would not have asked to stay overnight on a night when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) may have wanted to be intimate with his wife, and his father would not have sent him there unless he knew that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have no need to be intimate with his wife – because it is well known that he would not have been intimate with her when Ibn ‘Abbaas was there sharing the same pillow with them and he was watching to see what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did, and he did not sleep or he only slept a little.
Sharh Muslim, 6/46
In addition, doing such things openly is an action that is contrary to honour and decency.
Al-Maawardi said: Honour and decency means making sure that one’s deeds befit the circumstances so that no deeds may appear abhorrent or blameworthy.
Adab al-Dunya wa’l-Deen, 392.
The negative effects that such behaviour has on the children’s upbringing is sufficient reason not to do it, for children are created with the natural instinct to imitate their parents in all their affairs. So there is the fear that one of them may try to do that out of ignorance and a lack of understanding of what he is doing, and this is bad enough. Moreover there is no guarantee that small children talk to others about what they have seen, and it is obvious that this will cause embarrassment and loss of geerah (protective jealousy)
Secondly: If the affection that the husband and wife show in front of the children is of the kind that is usually shown, namely compassion, kindness and care, which will fill the house with peace and respect and happiness, especially on occasions such as Eid etc, that is permissible.
Showing that kind of affection will have an effect on the children’s peace of mind and will make them sense that there is mutual understanding and harmony in their family. There is nothing wrong with showing that kind of affection, but only as much as is necessary and without doing anything that is forbidden. And Allaah knows best.

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