Monday, September 22, 2014

For children, - Constructive criticism



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Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't. - Eleanor Roosevelt
What do you fear in your everyday life? One common answer would probably be to be criticized. To stand there and hear those words streaming out of someone's mouth and feel stupid or feel rejected or like you are getting smaller and smaller.
For every action we do get positive and as well as negative feedback, because it is a part of life if you want to live your life your way.
When dealing with others, it is all too easy to find fault, to criticize and to condemn. How often do criticisms lead to actual change and improvement? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, we find that people don't criticize themselves for anything, despite how wrong they might be.
Criticism is futile, because it puts a person on the defensive and causes him to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's pride and arouses resentment. Criticism is vain, because in judging others, we regard ourselves as more righteous than they.
Remember criticism doesn't always come gently from someone legitimately trying to help. A lot of the feedback we receive is unsolicited and doesn't come from teachers.
We can't control what other people will say to us, whether they will approve or form opinions and share them. But we can control how we internalize it, respond to it, and learn from it, and when we release it and move on.
Many of the world's most successful business leaders were criticized - even laughed at -when they first introduced their ideas. Instead of believing the naysayers, they used that criticism as motivation to succeed.
The best way to let criticism drive you is to be open to hearing it in the first place. Successful leaders know how to identify valid criticism and adapt accordingly. They use it to help them succeed.
Judging others is part of human nature. Our eyes are set in our head in such a way that we can look at others, better than at ourselves. Yet we all have faults of our own. As humans, we are also aware that no one is perfect, including ourselves. Prophet Jesus (pbuh)once said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Do you think you are perfect? Of course not! So if you want to reach your potential, look for constructive criticism. When someone is committed to reaching a goal, they will accept incredible doses of nagging, harassments and insults.
When we see the benefits, we actually like criticism. Imagine you left your wallet in the Grocery Store and someone calls after you: "Hey! You forgot your wallet!" Rather than get defensive at the criticism, you would say, "Thank you very much. Next time I will be more careful."
Criticism doesn't mean you are no good. It means, "You are good, but I believe you can be even better." To criticize does not necessarily imply "to find fault", but the word is often taken to mean the simple expression of an objection against a disapproval.
No one is good at everything and few people are great at the first time they try something. You will always have room to improve, no matter what you are doing and the best way to grow is to take constructive criticism from people who have the skills and know-how that you are lacking. The key, however, is separating the constructive from the unconstructive and separating yourself worth from the object of the constructive criticism.
Constructive criticism is a communication technique intended to identify and find solutions to problems in a positive way. Anyone can use the strategy, although professionals can provide more thorough analysis in many cases. It usually applies to work a person does, or to an individual's behavior. People respond to the method differently based on their own experiences, preferences and psychology, but a good, well-timed delivery can make a person more receptive to the message.





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Menstruation and Post-Natal bleeding, - Dought& clear, - * Her period came before she did her ‘umrah



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My wife and I went to Makkah two days ago to perform Hajj, and in the airplane we intended to enter ihraam for ‘Umrah. When we reached Makkah, we went to the hotel to put our luggage there, and after that my wife found out that her period had come when we reached the hotel.
What is the ruling on that? Does she have to offer a ransom (fidyah)? What is the value of the fidyah?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Menses does not prevent a woman from entering ihraam for Hajj and ‘umrah, but it is haraam for her to circumambulate the Ka’bah until after her menses ends. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) when she got her menses before entering Makkah: “Do everything that the pilgrim does but do not circumambulate the House until you become pure (i.e., your menses ends). Agreed upon.
It is proven inSaheeh al-Bukhaarithat when she became pure, she circumambulated the Ka’bah and did saa’i between al-Safa and al-Marwah. This indicates that if a woman gets her menses before doing tawaaf, she should not do tawaaf and saa’i until she becomes pure.
Based on this, what you wife must do is wait until she becomes pure, and then circumambulate the Ka’bah and do saa’i between al-Safa and al-Marwah, then cut her hair. Then she will have completed her ‘umrah. And she does not have to offer a ransom for having gotten her menses when she was in ihraam.
And Allaah knows best.




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Menstruation and Post-Natal bleeding, - Dought& clear, - * She had a miscarriage after two months of pregnancy andshe is asking about the fasts she observed when she was bleeding



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A woman started bleeding two days before she had a miscarriage, and that was in Ramadaan. She also bled for two days after the miscarriage. The foetus was two months old – should she make up the fasts or what should she do? Please note that she fasted and did not break her fast.
Praise be to Allaah.
If a woman miscarriages the foetus when human features such as the head and limbs have not yet appeared, and the outlines have not even appeared, the bleeding that occurs with that is irregular vaginal bleeding, and it does not mean that she cannot pray and fast. But if human features have appeared, then this bleeding is nifaas. The earliest that the human features appear is eighty-one days (of pregnancy), as is explained in the answer to question no. 37784and 45564.
If the matter is as described, that the age of the foetus was two months, then the bleeding that occurred before and after the miscarriage was irregular bleeding, not nifaas. So the woman’s fasting on those days was valid and she does not have to make them up.
And Allaah knows best.





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Prayer, - Dought & clear, - * Can the Muslims pray for rain in the land of the kuffaar



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There is a Muslim community living in a kaafir land where the rains are late. Is it permissible for them to pray for rain, since if rain comes it will benefit the kuffaar too?
Praise be to Allaah.
We asked Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Jibreen, may Allaah preserve him, and he answered as follows:
It is permissible for Muslims to pray for rain in the land of the kuffaar even if that will benefit the kuffaar too.






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Prayer, - Dought & clear, - * Permissibility of praying in shoes



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Is it permissible to pray wearing shoes when necessary, or not?
Praise be to Allaah.
Yes, that is permissible, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) prayed wearing his shoes. Inal-Saheehit is narrated that Abu Sa’eed said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) lead us in prayer whilst he was wearing his shoes, then he took them off [whilst still praying], and the people took their shoes off too. When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said theTasleem[at the end of the prayer], they said: “O Messenger of Allaah, you took off your shoes, so we took off our shoes too.” He said: “Jibreel came to me and told me that there was some dirt on them, so I took them off. When any one of you comes to the mosque, let him look at his shoes, and if he sees any dirt on them, let him wipe them. And they can be purified with dust.”
(Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 650). The point here is that praying in shoes is permissible. It says in the hadeeth: “Be different from the Jews, pray wearing your slippers or shoes.”(Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 652). But the condition is that the shoes must be taahir (pure, clean). If there is any najaasah (impurity) or dirt on the shoes, then one should not pray wearing them or enter the mosque in shoes, unless he is sure that they are free of impurity or dirt. And Allaah knows best.







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Prayer, - Dought & clear, - * Praying in the dark



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What is the ruling on making salah in the dark, where you can't even see your own hands?
Praise be to Allaah.
If the conditions of prayer are fulfilled and the essential parts or pillars of the prayer are completed, then the prayer is valid. Light is not an essential condition of prayer or an obligatory part of the prayer. But if the darkness is a cause of fear which disturbs a person to the point that he cannot have the necessary presence of mind and humility (khushoo’) in prayer, then it is makrooh for him to pray in the dark.





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